HELP! 14 yr old son doesn't wan to move. (party, custody, have to tell)
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My 14yr old doesn't want to move out of state (only an 1hr away) becuase there's a girl he has feelings for. His feelings are so strong, that he want's to know everything about her religion so that he can have her parent's permission to be her boyfriend. It seems the girl also has feelings for him, so at least that's some comfort. I would hate for her feelings not be the same. I would prefer his first heartbreak to be when he's older. But my boyfriend of 3yrs and I are planning on getting married. He owns a house which is what I, my son and 18yr old daughter would move into. My daughter is fine with the move. But my son is not and is thinking of moving in with his dad, the wife and 3 kids (under 10). But neither of them use good parenting skills. They curse all the time. The wife is obese, so she doesn't let any of the kids eat when they want - I guess fear that her kids will have the same problem. The kids sneak food out the fridge. The kids are all very skinny and I think kind of short for their age, as if they don't get enough nutrients. The wife doesn't let the girls play with their (non-expensive) dolls - she doesn't want them to get ruined so she puts them on shelves for display only. They're not allowed to sleep with socks on!? My son's dad is a recovering alcoholic - at least he's fixed that about himself. It's been years since he last drank. He has a long police record, but he has been trying to do better. He's "absent" in his relationship - she calls all the shots. He avoids saying anything so that there aren't any arguments. She's always going to some house party or other and drags all the kids along and they stay out till all hours of the morning. There's always a lot of drinking at those parties. The kids either have to go or stay home alone. As you can see, I'm frightend of the thought that my son would be raised by these two. I feel like I have to chose... my son, or a new life with my boyfriend in his house. I rent an apartment. How do I make this second chance of a new and much better life with a really great guy work out and not lose my son???
He may WANT to move in with his Dad, but he`s not old enough to make that final decision yet, you are. I agree with the above poster and say that this story with his Dad is not a pretty picture, and I would not even have to think about it, if I were in your shoes. The answer would be," No son. We are moving. Final decision."
My 14yr old doesn't want to move out of state (only an 1hr away) becuase there's a girl he has feelings for. His feelings are so strong, that he want's to know everything about her religion so that he can have her parent's permission to be her boyfriend. It seems the girl also has feelings for him, so at least that's some comfort. I would hate for her feelings not be the same.
You would hate for their feelings not to be the same??? So you want your 14 year old to pursue a serious relationship? So long as you have custody you have parental control. Tell him if it's meant to be then it'll work from a distance. Then tell him to get his ass in the car on moving day.
Er.....the kid is 14. We have to learn as kids that we won't always get our own way in life. You're supporting him, you're his most responsible option as caregiver, and he doesn't get to make the decision about moving. He isn't a grownup.
Ok, so he's got a crush on a girl. Really, you think they'd be together a year from now? 2? a lifetime? NOT. Puppy love. It's nice, but you can't make a decision to move or not based on your sons crush. Not when you've got a much more mature relationship with your own fiance to think of.
My 14yr old doesn't want to move out of state (only an 1hr away) becuase there's a girl he has feelings for. His feelings are so strong, that he want's to know everything about her religion so that he can have her parent's permission to be her boyfriend. It seems the girl also has feelings for him, so at least that's some comfort. I would hate for her feelings not be the same. I would prefer his first heartbreak to be when he's older. But my boyfriend of 3yrs and I are planning on getting married. He owns a house which is what I, my son and 18yr old daughter would move into. My daughter is fine with the move. But my son is not and is thinking of moving in with his dad, the wife and 3 kids (under 10). But neither of them use good parenting skills. They curse all the time. The wife is obese, so she doesn't let any of the kids eat when they want - I guess fear that her kids will have the same problem. The kids sneak food out the fridge. The kids are all very skinny and I think kind of short for their age, as if they don't get enough nutrients. The wife doesn't let the girls play with their (non-expensive) dolls - she doesn't want them to get ruined so she puts them on shelves for display only. They're not allowed to sleep with socks on!? My son's dad is a recovering alcoholic - at least he's fixed that about himself. It's been years since he last drank. He has a long police record, but he has been trying to do better. He's "absent" in his relationship - she calls all the shots. He avoids saying anything so that there aren't any arguments. She's always going to some house party or other and drags all the kids along and they stay out till all hours of the morning. There's always a lot of drinking at those parties. The kids either have to go or stay home alone. As you can see, I'm frightend of the thought that my son would be raised by these two. I feel like I have to chose... my son, or a new life with my boyfriend in his house. I rent an apartment. How do I make this second chance of a new and much better life with a really great guy work out and not lose my son???
You're the parent. What you say goes. Screw his little girlfriend as he will find another one. You want to make the move he has to deal with it. Period.
This sounds like a PARENTING issue and not a RELATIONSHIPS issue.
How does a 14 year old dictate what he does with his life? Does he pay bills, work ? You are the adult parent, not his friend. You can take his feelings into account, but ultimately it is your decision. If we have to tell you that I'm afraid it may be too late....
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