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I'd personally be more worried about kids bolting away and getting hit by cars in parking lots than abductions, and that's what I'd be thinking of were I to lash my kid to my personage while out and about. I work with developmentally disabled kids and take them on community outings, and I worry about the same thing with them. The unpredictable and often erratic behavior of kids can take a tragic turn pretty easily.
Fear shouldn't dictate how you parent, but common sense and an eye toward personal safety should play a pretty big role.
Some children have behavioral issues and I wouldn't give it another thought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
I bet you kids abducted out of malls and other crowded places weren't on leashes.
At first I thought it was ridiculous, and then I thought to my own childhood. I always managed to wander off if my parents turned away for one second. I was the kid who hid in clothing racks and I even had a melt down at Disney where I hid behind a trash can and scared the daylights out of my mom. As a kid, I had breakdowns when there were too many people around and too much stimulation, so my first instinct was to be alone. That worked out fine when I was 3 years old and hid under the table when people were singing happy birthday to me but completely not fine when out in public- but as a kid, I couldn't control the impulses. A leash would have saved my parents a TON of worry.
Some of them aren't too intrusive. I think the animal backpacks with the tail as the leash are great.
good points. Don't judge unless you know the whole story.
Giving kids a little autonomy is a good thing but that way they are nearby too.
I was a leashed child...didn't hurt me ONE BIT! In fact, I liked my harness... I remember it having a red stripe and a long zipper. I don't have a problem seeing kids with harnesses on- it's just a way for the parents to keep the kids close..
As far as claims that it is indicative of lazy parenting... how is it really any lazier than popping the kids in a stroller (which seems to be pretty well accepted), and pushing them around?
It's not any different. We are ALL lazy sometimes. I don't know why people get so defensive about it.
I never used leashes but can understand in certain circumstances (places with large crowds and confusion....ex. airport, amusement park, mall) that parents would feel they needed to use them especially for children under the age of 3 years old. Kids are implusive and quick. If an inquisitive child sees something of interest, they can split from a parents side in seconds...yes, even from the most attentive parent. So in certain situations, I can see how they might be used for safety.
I find the comment about parents being lazy interesting (leashes vs. strollers)...damned if you do, damned if you don't. If we were talking about the childhood obesity issue than people would probably say that the parents are being lazy for not allowing their kids to walk. No win situation.
I guess my point is that parenting issues are never black and white and we should try not to judge if we don't know the situation. Of course, that is so much easier said than done. We are human.
Last edited by Maybe So; 06-21-2009 at 09:10 AM..
Reason: spelling...opps!
I find the comment about parents being lazy interesting (leashes vs. strollers)...dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. If we were talking about the childhood obesity issue than people would probably say that the parents are being lazy for not allowing their kids to walk. No win situation.
I guess my point is that parenting issues are never black and white and we should try not to judge if we don't know the situation. Of course, that is so much easier said than done. We are human.
You know what I think parents need to be honest with themselves. Someone who is lazy sometimes is not necessarily always lazy. As I said above being lazy is only a problem if the parents NEVER pay attention to their kids.
ALL parents are lazy sometimes. Anyone who says they are not lazy sometimes is lying to themselves. We have all told our kids to go watch tv so we can finish something. Or put our kids in a stroller because we needed to go faster than our child could go. Many of us have allowed our kids to take a hand held video game somewhere rather than entertain them ourselves. All those are lazy behaviors.
Does that mean we are all terrible parents? NO. A parent is being lazy in a specific situation is not the end of the world. It's called being human.
I never used the leashes myself. They never felt right to me. However, I can understand why some parents might use them and I certainly don't think using them is some huge parenting sin, even if I do think it's a little lazy.
I was a leashed child...didn't hurt me ONE BIT! In fact, I liked my harness... I remember it having a red stripe and a long zipper. I don't have a problem seeing kids with harnesses on- it's just a way for the parents to keep the kids close..
As far as claims that it is indicative of lazy parenting... how is it really any lazier than popping the kids in a stroller (which seems to be pretty well accepted), and pushing them around?
No it's not lazy parenting. Lazy parents let their children run a muck in pubic and truly believe the entire village should be minding their child.
No it's not lazy parenting. Lazy parents let their children run a muck in pubic and truly believe the entire village should be minding their child.
So true! The worst part though is when those lazy parents who expect the village to mind their children get all bent out of shape because someone scolded their kid/s for doing something they shouldn't be doing.
No it's not lazy parenting. Lazy parents let their children run a muck in pubic and truly believe the entire village should be minding their child.
I agree, that is lazy parenting! I can't tell you how many times I've had children approach me in public with no parent in sight. I could easily walk away with these kids and the parent would never notice. Scary.
No it isn't. We just think it is. We think that there are lots of abductions when in reality the liklihood of abduction is very very low.
It is sad when fear dictates our decisions. Of course we all want to keep our kids safe but we have somehow been brain washed into this idea that our kids are likly to be abducted or killed. Then we base our parenting decisions on how to keep them alive while fending off these 'bad guys' lurking around every corner. I know a parent who is so fearful that someone will kidnap or rape her 12y.o. that she will not permit the 12y.o. to use public toilets. She makes the 12y.o. wear goodnites basically a diaper whenever the kid goes pretty much anywhere except to school.
I know that often the first thought is about the 'bad buys' but in reality it's not so much them that brings out things like leashes, in my opinion.
There are many reasons 2009 is far different than 1979 that bring cause for parents, especially those who have kids that dart off with no notice or fear, to use more caution.
Cars are one main example. There are so many more cars on the road today than 30 years ago..something like 150 million then and 250 million now. That alone makes driveways, streets and parking lots more potential tragedy spots today than 30 years ago.
Add to that many more cars and drivers on the road all the distractions (cell phones, ipods etc) less attention being paid, and the possibility of a child getting hit by a car has increased exponentially. For a child that vanishes in a flash, you have even more so increased chances of danger. It only takes a split second.
Malls in 1979 were very few and far between and they were small things and often the places for pleasant family trips. Today they are much more in quantity and usually huge structures with all sorts of reasons for people to be there and places to go. While the disappearing child couldn't go too far in 1979, today the possibilities are endless and finding them is much more challenging. That's one stress factor we can all do without.
So, for the parent who has a child who vanishes like that, to have the opportunity to add one more layer of protection, good for them! These kids aren't your normal everyday run of the mill kids that most of us have, and unless you have one or have witnessed first hand instances, you just might not quite understand the difference.
None of mine have been like that, but I sure have known many that were! My poor sister in law couldn't let go of her daughter for even a split second or she'd be GONE! Strollers were not able to contain her in the least and nothing could distract her enough if she took a notion to just go. There were far too many 'close calls' for my liking and she wasn't even MY child!
I think it looks silly and gives the wrong message to the kid.
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