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Dad is a big ol softy...just pay for the course. Don't add extra pressure. If she is grad from college at 18, she likely isn't used to failing anything at all.
Or you could buy a cheep automatic trans car and put the $500 towards that and have her practice on that a lot...and tell her when she passes, its hers.
I wouldn't be to hard on her, it sounds like overall she is a good kid.
I think it's best to wait to have kids drive. My oldest is 18 and still has no license. She failed her first driving test, and that really shook her. She has had her permit for awhile, but her driving skills are not the best. I am GLAD she doesn't have her driver's license. I would be terrified to get THAT phone call telling me my kid has been in an accident.
I think a lot of teens get their licenses too young and end up having some fender benders as they master the art of driving. I would rather have an older, more mature kid, who can hopefully do a better job. Most 16 year olds are simply not ready for the responsibility of driving.
I would say wait until she is ready. We live in a city with a fantastic bus system, so my daughter just rides the bus to where she needs to go.
I think it's best to wait to have kids drive. My oldest is 18 and still has no license. She failed her first driving test, and that really shook her. She has had her permit for awhile, but her driving skills are not the best. I am GLAD she doesn't have her driver's license. I would be terrified to get THAT phone call telling me my kid has been in an accident.
I think a lot of teens get their licenses too young and end up having some fender benders as they master the art of driving. I would rather have an older, more mature kid, who can hopefully do a better job. Most 16 year olds are simply not ready for the responsibility of driving.
I would say wait until she is ready. We live in a city with a fantastic bus system, so my daughter just rides the bus to where she needs to go.
I disagree--I wanted our kids to get their license as soon as they were able so they were getting their driving experience while they were still living at home and we could monitor as needed. I would have hated to send my 18 year old off to college with a fresh drivers license in hand.....instead, they had 2+ years of driving experience before they left for college.
The key is to get them to drive, period. The more time they spend behind the wheel, the better they will be. Make her drive everywhere she goes with you and anyone else she would be legal to drive with. Make her drive in all situations, in town, longer road trips, in traffic, neighborhood roads, in rain, at night, etc. Be constructive with teaching and try not to get too excited if she makes a mistake, etc.
I disagree--I wanted our kids to get their license as soon as they were able so they were getting their driving experience while they were still living at home and we could monitor as needed. I would have hated to send my 18 year old off to college with a fresh drivers license in hand.....instead, they had 2+ years of driving experience before they left for college.
The key is to get them to drive, period. The more time they spend behind the wheel, the better they will be. Make her drive everywhere she goes with you and anyone else she would be legal to drive with. Make her drive in all situations, in town, longer road trips, in traffic, neighborhood roads, in rain, at night, etc. Be constructive with teaching and try not to get too excited if she makes a mistake, etc.
This is how we felt also. The practice was hair raising at times for the person in the passenger seat, but we live in an area with no public transportation, and having the boys driving at 16 was the goal for all of us. They had professional training, took an accident avoidance class, and got hours of time under our supervision. I am so glad that time of our lives is over, believe me. But knock wood, they have zero points or accidents counting against insurance.
I do know of others with kids who are determined to never drive themselves. One friend has paid for the training three times for her daughter. The instructor finally told her to give up. Her daughter just didn't have the confidence to handle the responsibility of a vehicle.
We live in Quebec and drivers courses are a mandatory requirement to getting your drivers license , actually the first full drivers school cost close to $1000,this refresher course will set me back around $500.
The desire to live in Quebec has just dropped a few notches!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jambo101
The $500 is for the driving schools refresher course. the actual driving test at the DMV will cost $184, renting an automatic transmission car an extra $50
At the moment i'm getting her out frequently driving my car however its a standard shift that she has difficulties with.
I think I see the problem here. Driving, and driving a manual transmission, are two different skill sets. Having to master both of them at the same time is challenging at best, and more likely is a recipe for ensuring that neither of them gets learned.
If you are in a position to obtain an automatic-transmission car for a period of time (such as a lease, or purchasing a used car), I would encourage you to do so. Let her learn to drive on it, and do it enough that she becomes competent and comfortable. THEN, worry about teaching her to drive a manual transmission.
Maybe I'm just extraordinarily lucky, but I took to driving right away (got my license on the very first day I was legally able to do so; never had any formal driver's ed but passed the test on the first try) and had no trouble learning to drive a manual transmission. But we were fortunate in that we had both types of cars in my household, and I learned to drive first on the automatic, then the manual. I know quite a few people who drive just fine, but absolutely cannot master the manual transmission.
I learned to drive on a manual transmission car and im only 35.
If you cant drive an automatic you don't need to be driving at all.
My father taught me manual transmission driving around our neighborhood before I even had a permit. When we would go driving in the country he would let me drive then too.
The desire to live in Quebec has just dropped a few notches!
If you are in a position to obtain an automatic-transmission car for a period of time (such as a lease, or purchasing a used car), I would encourage you to do so. Let her learn to drive on it, and do it enough that she becomes competent and comfortable. .
Yeah Quebec in general is the highest taxed/regulated place in North America.
Last fall i bought her a nice little 03 Toyota Echo automatic, she drove it quite a bit but one snowy night last winter the snow plow misjudged a line of parked cars and basically tore the car in half.While the insurance was more than generous with the write off check the wife says no more extra cars.
I have severe ADD and could never learn to drive a manual transmission safely. Interestingly, for some people with ADD/ADHD, manual transmissions make them drive BETTER.
Look, your daughter sounds incredibly intelligent. Smart people are often much higher anxiety. Their brains can create all kinds of realistic scenarios that are perfectly horrifying. '
Any chance of maybe getting her evaluated for any learning disabilities or OCD/anxiety issues? I managed to graduate at the top of my high school class and in the top quadrant of my Ivy League college class, but I was dealing with ADD, OCD, anxiety and a laundry list of other issues. I feel like it might be best to see what is really driving her issues with her fears/confidence and then to come at the driving from that angle before blowing the cash.
In any case, you've got a gifted young adult dealing with some sort of mental block. I'd ask her to contribute to the next drivers test but not require her to pay the full amount.
Hopefully, in ten-fifteen years all the cars will be self driven and driving will be an absolute skill, sort of like driving a horse and a buggy. I think that teenagers/young adults on the road driving by themselves are a danger and a menace to themselves and the cars on the road. I would not push my kids to drive.
If you daughter is that terrified of driving, maybe she should wait for a couple of years until she becomes more mature and perhaps making money? I guess the driving school is helpful but driving with someone else in a car in realistic situtations is also important. And also, failing a first road test in the NYC area is fairly common. My wife failed the first test. Not sure why this is such a shock to teenagers. That should be just part of life.
I disagree--I wanted our kids to get their license as soon as they were able so they were getting their driving experience while they were still living at home and we could monitor as needed. I would have hated to send my 18 year old off to college with a fresh drivers license in hand.....instead, they had 2+ years of driving experience before they left for college.
The key is to get them to drive, period. The more time they spend behind the wheel, the better they will be. Make her drive everywhere she goes with you and anyone else she would be legal to drive with. Make her drive in all situations, in town, longer road trips, in traffic, neighborhood roads, in rain, at night, etc. Be constructive with teaching and try not to get too excited if she makes a mistake, etc.
Driving in a wide variety of weather conditions, plus at night, is a very important skill.
When our son got his license, 16 years ago, although he had a lot of driving experience it was almost all during the day. Literally, a few hours after he had his new driver's license he drove a friend home at night. A car ran into him and totaled our car. Luckily no one was hurt but it caused a lot of problems. It is likely/possible that if he had more experience driving at night he may have been able to avoid the accident.
Our daughter was a few years younger. By that time the state had changed it's requirements and required that everyone applying for their drivers license had a certain amount of night time driving experience (10 or 20 hours). My husband and I made sure that our daughter had experience in all types of weather, including rain and snow, plus a lot of night time driving before she got her license and was driving on her own.
Not every parent does this. I discussed this once with an acquaintance. The woman said "I would never let my daughter practice driving when it was raining or snowing. It is just too dangerous." Well, I hoped that her daughter and I were not on the same road the first time that it started raining or snowing after she had her license and had never once practiced what to do (when she had an experienced driver in the car to help her). It may have been "just too dangerous" for me and all of the other drivers on the road.
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