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Some people should really never drive. They just lack the coordination to do it safely. Money issue aside, I would make sure my daughter is competent enough to handle a car safely. It sounds like she needs more driver's ed and practice.
I'm on the fence on this one. Yeah, some people really should never drive.
On the other hand, sometimes kids have to be pushed to get over their fears. My father tried to teach me to drive. He screamed at me and made me cry (I was too slow in learning how to shift a manual transmission). I had a messed up instructor in high school driver's ed who made me cry (this was back in the 1970s).
It took my boyfriend taking me out in his old truck ("Relax, it doesn't matter if you hit anything!") before I learned. He'd just sit back and not correct me, unless I was about to do something really bad.
That was my experience for what it was worth. I probably would've gotten it eventually because it was truly necessary for me to learn, but the first two bad experiences were pretty earth-shaking to me at the time.
And I did learn to shift his truck. Again, it's not helpful to yell at beginners.
My 18 year old daughter is very reluctant to get her drivers license,
We put her through driving school a few years ago she then went to do her driving test and failed,its been 2 years now and she has absolutely refused to redo the test,i suspect flunking the test has somehow shattered her confidence. Lately she is coming to realize the handicap she is putting herself under by not having a drivers license and its relationship to the job market,problem is she now insists she has to do the driving test over again which will cost me another $500 , on the one hand i feel like telling her we already spent substantial money on your previous efforts to get a license just go take the test again,on the other hand if she has no confidence in her driving abilities is it worth the extra dollars to at least get her a refresher course before taking the test again?.
Is the $500 for the course or for the test? I think she should pay at least $100 of the $500 if she has the money to do so.
It sounds like she needs the refresher to bolster her skills and confidence. Maybe you could pay for it and let her pay you back after she graduates and gets a job. (One of my DILs is a geologist and they make good money!) She needs encouragement, not punishment IMO.
I'm surprised that just failing the driving test once made such a difference to her.
I know that different areas have different pass and fail rates and those may have changed over time. I recall that when I first got my driver's license it was something like 85% of all 16/17 year olds, in my area, failed the test the first time and 20% failed the second time, too. So with only 15% people passing on the first time it was not any big deal to have to do the test again. In the US there is not a charge for retaking the test (or if there is, it is just a small fee).
Is it possible for her to just get more practice instead of taking a refresher course costing $500? Maybe having a friend or relative practice with her will work.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-27-2015 at 08:11 PM..
My 18 year old daughter is very reluctant to get her drivers license,
We put her through driving school a few years ago she then went to do her driving test and failed,its been 2 years now and she has absolutely refused to redo the test,i suspect flunking the test has somehow shattered her confidence. Lately she is coming to realize the handicap she is putting herself under by not having a drivers license and its relationship to the job market,problem is she now insists she has to do the driving test over again which will cost me another $500 , on the one hand i feel like telling her we already spent substantial money on your previous efforts to get a license just go take the test again,on the other hand if she has no confidence in her driving abilities is it worth the extra dollars to at least get her a refresher course before taking the test again?.
If she has no confidence and is over 18 then wash your hands of the whole thing. Why should you continue to fund an adult? If she wants to take the bus or walk then great. I would refuse to drive her around though. I had a friend that was not confident and she finally got a job offer that she needed to drive to which gave her the need, motivation, and confidence to get her license.
Some people should really never drive. They just lack the coordination to do it safely. Money issue aside, I would make sure my daughter is competent enough to handle a car safely. It sounds like she needs more driver's ed and practice.
This.
I was 27 when I got my license. I tried it as a teen and just didn't feel like I could do it, I was terrified and horribly uncoordinated and felt that I was a danger to myself and others on the road. I needed a LOT of lessons and at that time I couldnt afford it. I lived in a walkable city with good public transportation so I just forgot about driving for a few years and got by without it.
After I moved to the suburbs and had a kid was when I realized I really needed to drive and finally made myself do it. Overall I think it took me close to thirty lessons and three different instructors before I found one that explained things the way I needed them (I didn't have any intuitive feel at all for things like turning radius and parking, I needed everything broken down into precise instructions step by step). Still grateful to that instructor for managing to teach me. But at that point I had the confidence and motivation I needed to stay calm and not freak out and do something stupid.
It runs in my family too. My mom doesn't drive, my 19 yo sister took some lessons and decided to practice with my dad and promptly hit a parked car before she even pulled away from the curb. Its been a year and she hasn't driven since tho she plans to.
So yeah, make sure your daughter gets enough practice and is confident before you unleash her on the road. And passing the test is no guarantee. Trust me, $500 won't sound like much if she totals the car, not to mention god forbid she hurts someone else. Some people need a lot more time than others.
Is the $500 for the course or for the test? I think she should pay at least $100 of the $500 if she has the money to do so.
The $500 is for the driving schools refresher course. the actual driving test at the DMV will cost $184, renting an automatic transmission car an extra $50
At the moment i'm getting her out frequently driving my car however its a standard shift that she has difficulties with.
I asked her why not just take the drivers test and forget about the driving school,alas she feels like its a set up for failure,stubborn little thing
If she has no confidence and is over 18 then wash your hands of the whole thing. Why should you continue to fund an adult? If she wants to take the bus or walk then great. I would refuse to drive her around though. I had a friend that was not confident and she finally got a job offer that she needed to drive to which gave her the need, motivation, and confidence to get her license.
This is the course of action my logical side is telling me to use, but as a loving parent and doting Dad i cant bring myself to go that route, as she is perfect in every other way she just has a hang up when it comes to driving.As for schooling?She's finished University for the year her last year is upcoming.
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, on the one hand i feel like telling her we already spent substantial money on your previous efforts to get a license just go take the test again,on the other hand if she has no confidence in her driving abilities is it worth the extra dollars to at least get her a refresher course before taking the test again?.
