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Totally agree. There is NO reason whatsoever for a "late 20s/early 30s year old MAN" to be messaging back and forth with a 15 year old child.
The OP states: She would ask him a lot of questions about Buddhist, talk about guys she like, ask him for advice on how to take care of injures, about places he have been to, and other things.
It don't seems like anything more is going on beside them just having a conversation. But I have to admit I'm a bit worried.
The instructor is in late 20s or early 30s and a good looking fit man. He often work with my daughter and other people in the gym. My daughter seems to be really into him and always trying hard to impress him.
As far as what I see, I don't really see the instructor doing anything to be alarmed about. However the fact them talking a lot on facebook is somewhat worrying me.
I can just picture this MAN letting this 15 year old CHILD know how "sophisticated" and "mature" she is and how he's impressed that she's interested in Buddism and how to deal with her injuries, etc. He could easily take advantage of the naivity of a 15 year old girl.
The fact that the daughter is "trying hard to impress him" is scary. She doesn't understand what she could possibly getting herself into.
To the OP: I would tell my daughter no more messaging with this guy on FB. I would ask around to other parents of similarly aged girls BEFORE talking to the teacher. Find out if this guy is a potential danger to the other kids. DON'T TIP HIM OFF by going to him first. I would speak privately to every other mother of a teen girl in that school and find out what's going on first.
Whoa there, slow down a bit.
Some people have this idea that any time a late 20s/early 30s man is talking with a teenage girl, even when he's a teacher of some sort, that he must be a predator. That simply isn't true. Obviously, since he is her instructor on a regular basis, they are going to get to know each other, and there's nothing weird about the daughter asking about healing from injuries or religion (the guys she likes might be a bit much, but those kinds of conversations still go on.)
It sounds like the instructor is naive about the consequences of talking with the OP's daughter on Facebook and/or likes the attention/prestige it gives him. For the instructor's sake, he needs to stop with the Facebook messaging because all it takes is one suspicious parent to accuse him of something and his career could be ruined. Additionally, it is fairly common for teenage girls to try to impress somewhat older men, and the OP's daughter needs to know that this is not something she should be doing.
The OP should have a talk with her daughter and explain that Facebook chatting with your martial arts instructor is not a good idea for either of them because of the inherent suspicion of social media, and that if she has any legitimate questions (of which there are many) with which to discuss with the guy, keep it in class. There is no indication that the martial arts instructor is a danger to anybody, and unless there is evidence to suggest otherwise, the OP should not ask other mothers about this guy's behavior - that could ruin his career for no reason.
To the OP: I would tell my daughter no more messaging with this guy on FB. I would ask around to other parents of similarly aged girls BEFORE talking to the teacher. Find out if this guy is a potential danger to the other kids. DON'T TIP HIM OFF by going to him first. I would speak privately to every other mother of a teen girl in that school and find out what's going on first.
Maybe she should have a talk with the daughter..
I am 25 and about a year ago I had this like 14ish? Yeah old girl across the street coming on very very hard to me. I'd be out washing my car and she would start talking to me about sex related stuff and I just wouldn't respond. I'd get home and open up the gate and she would sneak up behind me in heels and a tiny skirt all skanked out.
The daughter is 15! Not 12! Huge difference. While it may not be legal in the eyes of the law (some states its 16) there are girls and guys at 15 years old who know perfectly well what they are doing and will come onto older people knowing themselvez have nothing to lose.
Don't get this guy a bad reputation when clearly the daughter is making the initiation and he has CLEARLY done nothing more than being friendly.
Heck when I was underage I had lied about my age and slept with older women who by the eyes of the law could have gone to prison for it. I knew perfectly well what I was doing but it made zero defference to me when I was 16 if I was banging a 15 year old or 25 year old....
I am 25 and about a year ago I had this like 14ish? Yeah old girl across the street coming on very very hard to me. I'd be out washing my car and she would start talking to me about sex related stuff and I just wouldn't respond. I'd get home and open up the gate and she would sneak up behind me in heels and a tiny skirt all skanked out.
The daughter is 15! Not 12! Huge difference. While it may not be legal in the eyes of the law (some states its 16) there are girls and guys at 15 years old who know perfectly well what they are doing and will come onto older people knowing themselvez have nothing to lose.
Don't get this guy a bad reputation when clearly the daughter is making the initiation and he has CLEARLY done nothing more than being friendly.
Heck when I was underage I had lied about my age and slept with older women who by the eyes of the law could have gone to prison for it. I knew perfectly well what I was doing but it made zero defference to me when I was 16 if I was banging a 15 year old or 25 year old....
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I agree with you. Girls are many times far from innocent as their parents might think they are.
The op should talk to her daughter first.
The OP should have a talk with her daughter and explain that Facebook chatting with your martial arts instructor is not a good idea for either of them because of the inherent suspicion of social media, and that if she has any legitimate questions (of which there are many) with which to discuss with the guy, keep it in class. There is no indication that the martial arts instructor is a danger to anybody, and unless there is evidence to suggest otherwise, the OP should not ask other mothers about this guy's behavior - that could ruin his career for no reason.
This is exactly right.
The overwhelming majority of the danger in the situation is to him, not to her.
It doesn't look like there is anything inappropriate going on between them, though messaging privately through facebook can lead to a blurring of boundaries. I might make it clear to both parties that I know about it without making any accusations. Hopefully, they wouldn't think it was a big deal that the parent knew.
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