And the lying and sneaking around begins... (teenagers, parents, girls)
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A take off thread from the one I posted last week about having to tell my son that his gf's father was not going to allow them to see each other anymore.
Yesterday I asked my son if they had found a way to communicate yet. He told me that they both created email addresses and they are talking back and forth with those (he gave me his new email and password). I told him to remember that her father WILL find out eventually and everything he writes needs to be appropriate (basically, keep in mind that everything you write will be read by her father at some point).
I am petty enough to be transfering their emails to a memory card. When her father freaks out, I want to be able to come back with proof that HIS daughter contacted my son first. (Read: he's not stalking or harrassing her).
Fortunately, our son is pretty open with us and willing to talk. We made sure he understands the boundaries he has to live under (don't call her phone, don't write anything you wouldn't want her father reading, etc...).
Overall, I was pretty amused with how quickly they were able to start talking again after her father forbid it. During the conversation with my husband last week (the one where her father dumped the chore of telling our son about the forced break-up), my husband told him that they (meaning her) would start lying and sneaking around if he forced them to break up.
The way I see it, this sneaky e mail business is way better than crawling out the window at night or involving friends in clandestine meetings. We knew this would happen.
As a father of 2 girls, I would sure wish some boys parent would respect my wish..if not I promise it will get ugly, Its not a game..
The above bears repeating.
In a world where people hate being told how to raise their kids by others, the same people will ignore the wishes of other parents.
Even though I agree the girl's parents are being ridiculous, when it goes bad, and it will, you and your husband will be sharing fault along with your son.
Last edited by steelstress; 05-09-2013 at 10:45 AM..
The are teenagers, If they want to communicate they will. The more you try and control the more irrelevant you as a parent become. I can´t imagine trying to control my daughter like the girls father. Whats next chaining her in the basement.
A take off thread from the one I posted last week about having to tell my son that his gf's father was not going to allow them to see each other anymore.
Yesterday I asked my son if they had found a way to communicate yet. He told me that they both created email addresses and they are talking back and forth with those (he gave me his new email and password). I told him to remember that her father WILL find out eventually and everything he writes needs to be appropriate (basically, keep in mind that everything you write will be read by her father at some point).
I am petty enough to be transfering their emails to a memory card. When her father freaks out, I want to be able to come back with proof that HIS daughter contacted my son first. (Read: he's not stalking or harrassing her).
Fortunately, our son is pretty open with us and willing to talk. We made sure he understands the boundaries he has to live under (don't call her phone, don't write anything you wouldn't want her father reading, etc...).
Overall, I was pretty amused with how quickly they were able to start talking again after her father forbid it. During the conversation with my husband last week (the one where her father dumped the chore of telling our son about the forced break-up), my husband told him that they (meaning her) would start lying and sneaking around if he forced them to break up.
I know that you care about your son and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think you're too involved in this situation. I thought the same thing last week when you were talking about crushing his heart. This isn't your teenage affair or heartache--it's theirs. Other than tell your son not to go over there because her father has forbidden it, I think you need to step back. You seem to be increasing the drama level when, IMO, you should be trying to decrease it.
In a world where people hate being told how to raise their kids by others, the same people don't will ignore the wishes of other parents.
Even though I agree the girl's parents are being ridiculous, when it goes bad, and it will, you and your husband will be sharing fault along with your son.
He does not really need to condone their communication or try to prevent it either. Every teen I know has Smartphones, E-mail, Skype, Facebook, Whats-App..... The will communicate on their own. Being a teen is about breaking away. Being a parent of a teen is about letting go.
I know that you care about your son and I hope you don't take this wrong, but I think you're too involved in this situation. I thought the same thing last week when you were talking about crushing his heart. This isn't your teenage affair or heartache--it's theirs. Other than tell your son not to go over there because her father has forbidden it, I think you need to step back. You seem to be increasing the drama level when, IMO, you should be trying to decrease it.
I confess I agree with this poster. Not trying to be mean. I can imagine this is a challenge to deal with!
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