Teenagers And Sex? (babysitting, legal, divorced, boy)
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This ^^ is the scale I would use for my son, NOT my daughter! The one for my daughter woud look like this:
13 - Everything in your power to stop
14 - Everything in your power to stop
15 - Everything in your power to stop
16 - Everything in your power to stop
17 - Everything in your power to stop
18 - Everything in your power to stop
Okay, you can proceed to begin calling me a sexist now
you forgot
19 everything in your power to stop
20 everything in your power to stop
21 everything in your power to stop
22 everything in your power to stop
23 everything in your power to stop
24 everything in your power to stop
25 everything in your power to stop
26 everything in your power to stop
27 everything in your power to stop
28 everything in your power to stop
29 everything in your power to stop
30 everything in your power to stop
31 everything in your power to stop
32 everything in your power to stop
33 everything in your power to stop
34 everything in your power to stop
35 everything in your power to stop
36 everything in your power to stop
37 everything in your power to stop
38 enter nunnery
A 20-22 year old female is a woman, not a girl. Generally, I agree with the philosophy that very early sexual activity is not good for males or females. I don't think that the characterization of young men as sex maniacs is healthy for young men, or women.
I wondered that, and hit the good old google. Seemed like a nice ripe fruit to be tested. Seems like 14/15 is the cutoff to prevent emotional damage. . .at least according to this study.
In fact, most teens who have early sex do not become depressed or lose self-esteem as a result, says Meier, who studied more than 8,500 seventh- through twelfth-graders over an 18-month period. In her study, Meier found that those who do suffer negative mental health consequences—about 15 percent of her respondents—tended to be the youngest (girls who had sex before age 15 and boys who had sex before age 14) and those whose relationships were not emotionally close and ended after the sex.
I.e. sex itself may not be damaging to teen, if education/protection/etc is used.
I wondered that, and hit the good old google. Seemed like a nice ripe fruit to be tested. Seems like 14/15 is the cutoff to prevent emotional damage. . .at least according to this study.
I.e. sex itself may not be damaging to teen, if education/protection/etc is used.
So, based on one of these studies you love so much, are you going to let your 14-year old daughter's boyfriend have sex with her in her bedroom while you're in the other room having a beer watching TV?
"Be sure you use a condom, Sweetheart. And don't make too much noise! The Broncos are first and goal!"
What about a 14-year old son? Does he get to "entertain" in his room? (I have a zillion questions. Like do you put the condoms on top of his bed stand or put them in the drawer so Mom doesn't know. Or does she know? Sooo many questions if the quantitative studies are the guidelines used.)
Last edited by DewDropInn; 10-08-2012 at 04:25 PM..
OK, perhaps it would be less confusing to use the word "influence" rather than "control". Good parenting can control the probabilities, and by so doing can influence the outcome. If a teen subject to good parenting is, let's say, 70 percent less likely to have sex than a teen subject to bad parenting, then good parenting influences the outcome.
Does that work for you?
In other words, "they're going to have sex anyway" is a cop out. Even worse, this attitude on the part of parents just increases the likelihood that their teens will have sex.
If you want to argue that cool indifference towards teenage behavior that exposes them to STDs, unwanted pregnancies, emotional trauma, and relationship pathologies is good parenting, be my guest.
If a teen is subject to stern religious parenting, they are 99.9% less likely to tell their parent when they become sexually active.
19 everything in your power to stop
20 everything in your power to stop
21 everything in your power to stop
22 everything in your power to stop
23 everything in your power to stop
24 everything in your power to stop
25 everything in your power to stop
26 everything in your power to stop
27 everything in your power to stop
28 everything in your power to stop
29 everything in your power to stop
30 everything in your power to stop
31 everything in your power to stop
32 everything in your power to stop
33 everything in your power to stop
34 everything in your power to stop
35 everything in your power to stop
36 everything in your power to stop
37 everything in your power to stop
38 enter nunnery
What you are failing to recognize is that some teens are not children.
As most posters have pointed out there is a vast difference between a 13 year old child and a 19 year old adult. Technically, both are teens. Most of the parents here (from what I can tell) are clearly talking about older teens, some of whom are adults.
You need to read more carefully. Most of the parents are talking about either directly providing their at-home teenage children with birth control, or giving them information on how to obtain it when "needed". Some samples from the first three pages -
"That ALL of them should be on birth control. That all of them should be taught masturbation is a good choice."
"It doesn't matter if the parents are pro or against teen sex. It happens. The best we can do is help our kids make educated decisions." [i.e., taught to use birth control when they have teen sex]
"... the real question is, when do you keep the condoms out ..." .
"I assume it may happen...and plan for it. Not unlike buying insurance...you hope you don't need it, but it is best to be prepared." [i.e., provide birth control for teen sex]
"If one of my children were to become sexually active I would provide birth control."
"I even think 16 and 17 is too young as well but if they're having sex then they should have 'protection'."
"Teens have sex ... If they are going to have sex, I'd rather they understand the responsibilities that entails."
Etc. These parents are obviously not talking about adult college students here.
I'll admit that I live, by choice, in something of a cultural "bubble" among conservative, religious, mostly homeschooling families. Sometimes I forget that parents outside of this context really do think they are totally helpless in preventing their children from having sex, abusing drugs or alcohol, or engaging in other misbehavior. Their children are off at school or with friends the vast majority of time, doing heaven knows what with people the parents have never met, accountable to no one it seems. Modern parents see themselves as responsible for providing material support until graduation, friendly advice when asked, and maybe a shoulder to cry on, but apparently little else.
Now then, teen pregnancy isn't completely unheard of in our communities. I've known three or four cases out of hundreds of teens in the last 15 years, and one of them ended in a happy marriage. But in general, teens living with these families can be counted on to behave honorably and responsibly. The recipe is not difficult, and I'm glad to share it:
1. Teach your children the truth about sex and marriage.
2. Put good examples in their lives constantly.
3. Minimize pop culture influences and, preferably, eliminate television.
4. Make sure they are never exposed to pornography.
5. Know who their friends are.
6. Keep them very, very busy.
7. Homeschool, or send them to a school with strong values in this department.
It works.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 10-09-2012 at 12:44 AM..
8. keep them locked up so they have no experience in the real world
9. put blinders on them on the rare occasions they do have to leave home
10. instill so much guilt in them that they become totally dependent on their parents and church for the rest of their lives.
11. punish them severely if they are discovered masturbating. tell them they will rot in hell for having sexual thoughts
12. never let them see their parents as anything other than the super human and rigid demigods they portray themselves to be
I'll admit that I live, by choice, in something of a cultural "bubble" among conservative, religious, mostly homeschooling families. Sometimes I forget that parents outside of this context really do think they are totally helpless in preventing their children from having sex, abusing drugs or alcohol, or engaging in other misbehavior. Their children are off at school or with friends the vast majority of time, doing heaven knows what with people the parents have never met, accountable to no one it seems. Modern parents see themselves as responsible for providing material support until graduation, friendly advice when asked, and maybe a shoulder to cry on, but apparently little else.
Now then, teen pregnancy isn't completely unheard of in our communities. I've known three or four cases out of hundreds of teens in the last 15 years, and one of them ended in a happy marriage. But in general, teens living with these families can be counted on to behave honorably and responsibly. The recipe is not difficult, and I'm glad to share it:.
The issue with sex is that it is typically something that is done in private. Most people, regardless of how old they are do not have a public sex life. Therefore, if your child is away from you for any length of time they have an opportunity to sneak off and have sex. Parents do have an influence over their kids but they do not have total control over them.I think that sex among younger teens can be avoided more easily than sex among older teens, who frequently have more mobility than younger ones (and also may be living away from their parents).
Sex is a natural part of life and older teens are sexually mature. They will learn about these urges on their own regardless of whether they are exposed to pop culture, pornography or who their friends are. Kids do not need deviant friends to want to have sex at some point because sex is a normal bodily function. Keeping them busy with goal oriented activity does cut down on the opportunities to engage in early sexual behavior but it cannot prevent it in 100% of kids.
At some point your child will decide to become sexually active. Nearly 100% of adults become sexually active. Whether the age the decide to become sexually active is 16, 19 or 21 it is your job to prepare them to have a normal, healthy sex life. It is your job to arm them with information about sexually transmitted diseases and birth control, so that when they decide to have sex they have the information they need to avoid disease and their own fertility. This is true regardless of whether they have sex as a teen or as a young adult. There is nothing irresponsible about older teens having sex unless they are doing so without the information they need to keep themselves free of disease and pregnancy.
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