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Am I wrong to be upset that people are just buying a "joint gift" for birthday and christmas for my son? He turns 1 on the 21st and it seems like my family is just buying him one gift. I dont really find that to be fair to the child (especially as he gets older). What can I say or do? I'm tempted to buy them a "joint gift" even if their birthday is in April :P
AS I said before, I was hurt NOT by the fact she did not send 2 gifts, but when I asked her if it was for his birthday or christmas, the response was "I dont care". THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE, NOT THE GIFT.
So, if I just decided that I don't feel like getting my one niece a gift for her birthday but I do for her sister and brother, that's just a-ok, right?
Because it's JUST A GIFT, right? And gifts don't really mean anything, right?
Mags....I think YOU are the one who's got your panties in a bunch about this issue. Clearly, you're far more "scarred" from past injustices than some of us are.
I didnt read all the posts but I get what the OP is saying. Its not so much about the gift I think but the recognition. I see where it would be a problem trying to have a bday party so close to the holidays. Lots of people have early xmas parties or get tied up with shopping. Years ago my FIL was dating a woman that had a child who's bday was on Christmas day. I knew the boy was going to be at the xmas party. I bought him a gift for his bday and a xmas present. I wrapped each in their respected papers. The boy was about 4 or 5 from what I remember. I handed him his bday present and wished him a happy birthday. The kid beamed from ear to ear. Later after we ate dinner we handed out the xmas presents to the kids and he beamed again. My FIL's gf took me aside and told me how thoughtful it was that I had went to the trouble and how it had just made her son's day. She said he gets shafted a lot. I know she didnt mean about the gift but more of the recognition. What I found more surprising was the rest of the kids at the party got upset this boy got an extra gift. Everyone explained that it was also the boy's bday. Even the kids wanted to just forget the kid had a bday.
My MIL's bday is New year's eve. I always get her something separate and I don't even like her.
Mags....I think YOU are the one who's got your panties in a bunch about this issue. Clearly, you're far more "scarred" from past injustices than some of us are.
Nice way to evade the question.
If gifts don't mean anything, then it doesn't matter if I decide to exclude one of my nieces or nephews by not giving them a gift, correct?
I am very angry with the way you spoke to rezfreak and the mean things you've said to her. Are my panties in a twist? No. Do I think you could have worded your posts in a much less inflammatory and hurtful way? Absolutely.
AS I said before, I was hurt NOT by the fact she did not send 2 gifts, but when I asked her if it was for his birthday or christmas, the response was "I dont care". THAT IS THE DIFFERENCE, NOT THE GIFT.
You said she said "both." Now all of a sudden she said "I dont care"?
So, if I just decided that I don't feel like getting my one niece a gift for her birthday but I do for her sister and brother, that's just a-ok, right?
Because it's JUST A GIFT, right? And gifts don't really mean anything, right?
I'll repost in case anyone would like to answer this.
It's an honest question. One born of frustration and anger, but honest nonetheless.
You said she said "both." Now all of a sudden she said "I dont care"?
Oh, i'm sorry i dont remember the exact words she said, the intent was the same. The conversation was over a week ago, forgive me for not remembering what she said word by word.
Oh, i'm sorry i dont remember the exact words she said, the intent was the same. The conversation was over a week ago, forgive me for not remembering what she said word by word.
Forgive me for saying this but the above is the most ridiculous thing I've read here.
Two scenarios:
Sisters: "I sent a gift for Bentley"
Mom: "Is it for Christmas or his birthday?"
Sister: "Both."
OR:
Sister calls: "I sent a gift for Bentley"
Mom: "Is it for Christmas or his birthday?"
Sister: "I don't care."
You seriously see the above as the same sentiment? Really?
If gifts don't mean anything, then it doesn't matter if I decide to exclude one of my nieces or nephews by not giving them a gift, correct?
I am very angry with the way you spoke to rezfreak and the mean things you've said to her. Are my panties in a twist? No. Do I think you could have worded your posts in a much less inflammatory and hurtful way? Absolutely.
You read what you wanted to into the post Mags. It hit you hard, because you're scarred from your past. Obviously, if you're going to make it a point to buy your neices and nephews presents (and they're siblings), it would only be good manners to buy them ALL presents. That goes without saying. However, I have MANY and I do mean MANY neices and nephews. Some of them live nearby, some we have a relationship with, some....not at all...don't even know them. I don't buy anything for those kids. If I have them or their parents on FB, I wish them a happy birthday. There are a couple whom I buy gifts for....a couple!
Birthday gifts for extended family are NOT a big deal in our family...never have been, never will be. The birthday gifts that my children truly appreciate...is a phone call, a birthday card, or even a Happy Birthday on FB. It's the RECOGNITION that means something.....not the gift.
As far as the OP's sisters bad manners.....that's just what they were, bad manners. If she said what the OP says she did, it's pretty darn clear that she bought the gift out of a sense of obligation.....NOT out of love.
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