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Am I wrong to be upset that people are just buying a "joint gift" for birthday and christmas for my son? He turns 1 on the 21st and it seems like my family is just buying him one gift. I dont really find that to be fair to the child (especially as he gets older). What can I say or do? I'm tempted to buy them a "joint gift" even if their birthday is in April :P
An infant has no idea one way or another, so don't feel bad on his behalf. He does not care. Do you have any other kids? If not, he won't have anything to compare his situation to as he gets older, and you have a great opportunity to teach him to be grateful and gracious about any presents he receives. Perhaps you and your spouse could celebrate his birthday and splurge on gifts, leaving Christmas to the relatives and something nice from Santa. A kid doesn't have to have tons of presents, you know.
If you do have older children and worry that your son will notice the discrepancy as he gets older, I would say something very gentle to them AT THAT TIME. Not now. You have no idea what your relatives will do when he is older.
I was born on the 7th of December and everyone always did this with me. I never really cared though because I realize that most people cant afford two gifts so close together. Honestky your son will be happy with whatever he gets and if he doesn't you should teach him better manners because he is not OWED anything so any gift is above and beyond what should be expected imho.
Meh, my Birthday is close to Christmas, and I have received many joint gifts. I think I was just grateful to get anything. I think it's pretty petty in the grand scheme of things....sorry to be brutally honest.
I agree with Julia. My son's birthday is Dec. 28th. When he was tiny, he needed so little I was honestly happy that family didn't buy double the toys. As he got older we made sure to host a birthday party separately from the Christmas celebration. He has never felt cheated by the timing of his birthday, in fact, we always had great turnouts for his parties because parents were thrilled to have their kids entertained for an afternoon during a long break from school.
My nephews birthday is on the 14th and his parents always endeavored to have a birthday and then have Christmas. I know everyone has different feelings on this, but I think every kid deserves some special recognition for their birthday and that shouldn't be determined by the time of year their birthday happens to fall. I think how it is handled is ultimately up to the parents. Having an actual birthday party for him helps delineate the difference.
While some more distant relatives might just buy one present for both, people who are closer aren't going to show up to his birthday or Christmas empty handed saying it was a combined gift. Especially as he gets older and notices.
My Birthday is on the 7th of January. So I am aware of the hardship he faces down the road. Though recieving gifts are not going to be a big deal for him at the moment because of his age, down the road they will be. I would kindly suggest to the people involved that it is polite to celebrate him on his birthday as well as celebrate Christmas. You got to start now because if you don't they will say well we've done it in years past. Its up to your son down the road if he would like to celebrate the two together.
My husband was born on Christmas Eve. His mom was born the day after Christmas. Both have been very hurt over the years by "joint gifts" and birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper. Not to mention, all of their birthday parties that were only attended by a handful of people b/c everyone else was shopping or attending holiday parties or festivities.
Heck, did you know they actually sell Happy Christmas birthday cards? He's gotten a few of those over the years.
I used to thing my husband was over-reacting, but after 15 years of marriage, I've grown to understand and validate his pain. Everyone wants to feel special on their birthday---even if they share it with Jesus. It's not just about the gifts.
Your son is too young to notice this year, but he will notice as he gets older and starts attending birthday parties for friends that weren't born around the holidays.
Starting next year, I'd celebrate his birthday a few weeks before or after the actual date. And, I'd do this every year to avoid conflicts and joint gifts. Yes, it's hard to shell out extra money for birthday gifts around the holidays, but they'd have to do it if he were born in January, February, March, etc... No one would not buy a present for a nephew born in June and say, "Well, I already bought you a Christmas gift. Just be grateful." Would they? They can always plan ahead and purchase the gift a few months in advance (or purchase two smaller gifts) if they're on a tight budget.
This year my husband is turning 50 and was worried his family from out of state wouldn't come to his party if it was too close to Christmas Eve. So, I had a party last weekend, his entire family came as well as his friends who live here and he was happy as can be. Our girls and I will still make a cake and sing happy birthday on his actual birthday and we'll give him our birthday gift then as well.
I didnt think you meant the celebration part of it. Yes he should have both a birthday celebration as well as a xmas celebration. I thought you meant the gift part only.
I can't believe I forgot that my one sister was born on New Year's Eve. Talk about getting the shaft in terms of celebrating your birthday...EVERYONE has other plans that night.
As to people who think a joint gift is appropriate, I suppose if it was something more extravagant than what one would buy for either a birthday or Christmas individually than that is OK. However, if it isn't (and even that is kind of only so-so OK, IMO) then seperate presents should be given. You wouldn't give a birthday gift to a kid who was born in July and tell them that was for Christmas too, why is being born close to the holiday so different?
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