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It's called having boundaries and being the parent. I can't think of any reason anyone would tell their kids their past indiscretions, unless they were trying to befriend them instead of parent them. Kids don't need to know details of their parents' private lives and it could traumatize them to hear some things and it certainly would not be being a good role model . . . if you made mistakes and learned from them, then that is good for your growth . . . your kids have to make their own mistakes and learn from them . . .
People seem to have their heads in the sand about what their kids are doing and that is kind of how it should be. My parents had no idea what I was up to . . . privacy is a basic human right. Parents have no business managing their kids sex lives, etc. You may not want your kid to have sex, but it is ultimately their bodies and up to them.
Now what I just wrote, I believe in on one hand, but I am a hypocrite in practice because I get fearful . . . But we are all here to learn (I believe).
When I say that I anticipate being honest with my kids, I don't mean that I will divulge these types of details. I am talking in the general sense: yes, I tried pot; yes, I had sex as a teenager; yes, I occasionally had a couple of drinks at a party. There is some information that children and parents simply don't need to know about one another. I'm in my mid-30s, and I would never discuss my sex life with my mother, even though I'm married with children, and I would CERTAINLY never want to discuss HER sex life, past or present!
Its funny this thread has popped up, my daughter asked, "How old were you when you had sex for the first time?" I told her, she also asked if it was special, I told her. She asked if I was worried about diseases I said, “I didn’t know enough about diseases to worry about them”. She looked at me and said, “DAD! You could have gotten AIDS!” With a humbling laugh I said, “That’s right, I was pretty stupid huh!”. We talked a bit more, well, she asked a few more questions.
In my opinion she knows her father was careless by admission and logic. She knows sex can be dangerous and her protection is her responsibility.
It’s a work in progress, she’ll make mistakes as I did, as her mother did and when she does I’ll (we’ll) be there to help and support her. The school of experience is a good teacher.
No. I have shared a couple of pranks I pulled, but when my child gets a little older I don't see myself telling her about my sexcapades or experimentation with alcohol and marijuana. Maybe when she's an adult.
For all us secretive parents, and we do seem to be in the majority here, do you think there will ever come a time when you'll be able to tell your, let's say adult children a lot more about your wayward youth? Not saying everything; Does anyone ever tell anyone else everything? But just much more, say once they are married and settled into their professional and personal lives, say in their 30's?
I have thought about this as my children have become adults but...
Years ago when I got married my Dad proceeded to tell me about the time he cheated on my mother and nearly left her for this other woman. This woman was the mother of one of my dear friends. Someone I am still friends with. It was a huge burden to me as I didn't know if my friend knew. I felt so bad for my mom. I hated my dad for it. It was not necessary that I know this. His excuse for telling me was that if my husband were to cheat on me this is how I should react. I still find it to be worthless knowledge and there isn't any reason I should know. Somethings are better left unsaid.
I have thought about this as my children have become adults but...
Years ago when I got married my Dad proceeded to tell me about the time he cheated on my mother and nearly left her for this other woman. This woman was the mother of one of my dear friends. Someone I am still friends with. It was a huge burden to me as I didn't know if my friend knew. I felt so bad for my mom. I hated my dad for it. It was not necessary that I know this. His excuse for telling me was that if my husband were to cheat on me this is how I should react. I still find it to be worthless knowledge and there isn't any reason I should know. Somethings are better left unsaid.
That was pretty dispicable of your dad to burden you that way
Parents who share things like their sexual history with their kids, especially kids who are under the age of 18, are playing with fire.
I see this kind of cr*ap happen when a parent would rather be their childs friend than do the tougher job of just parenting. It's sad.
It's bad enough we raised them in the same area we grew up in ourselves and our friends would say, "Remember the time we all..." and their little faces would light up in fascination before I tossed them out onto the patio telling them to check on the dogs.
That was pretty dispicable of your dad to burden you that way
Parents who share things like their sexual history with their kids, especially kids who are under the age of 18, are playing with fire.
I see this kind of cr*ap happen when a parent would rather be their childs friend than do the tougher job of just parenting. It's sad.
Agreed. And now the rest of the story...When my husband did cheat on me my Dad blamed me and told me I had ruined my life. Just another reason why I have very little contact now.
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I am talking in the general sense: yes, I tried pot; yes, I had sex as a teenager; yes, I occasionally had a couple of drinks at a party. There is some information that children and parents simply don't need to know about one another. I'm in my mid-30s, and I would never discuss my sex life with my mother, even though I'm married with children, and I would CERTAINLY never want to discuss HER sex life, past or present! 
