Parents.. Are You TOTALLY Honest (teens, teaching, 20 years old, boyfriend)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You're lucky in a way, to have nothing to hide, and nothing to lie about. I'm honest in my everyday life and so not lying but not being forthcoming with my kids is not something that I am proud of or that sits well with me. It bothers me, in fact. But looking back, I'm even shocked by some of the things we did and got away with. The only problem I can see for a parent like yourself, is that if you do end up with a kid that gives you a lot of headaches you might have a tendency to overreact. Do you think so?
Yah, I think you may be right. When I was a kid, I had a very black and white perspective about "good kids and bad kids" and I knew where I stood on that list. I hope that as a parent, I won't freak out if my kids aren't 100% "good" all the time. It doesn't really come up yet since they are so little still, but some day I will have two teen girls on my hands! But I am glad that I have nothing to lie about, because lying is very hard for me. I have a really hard time with the whole Santa thing already!
No, I don't think I could ever be TOTALLY honest. Some things are meant to stay discreet from your children. However, I do plan to reveal some things from my past that may potentially bring us even closer, make him see that I understand where he is coming from and that I'm not perfect and had my share of mishaps. I believe my husband shares the same philosophy.
I'm on board with this. I think kids need to know that it's okay to make mistakes, but they need to learn from them. Or better yet - not make the same mistakes and learn from ours.
Yeah, our WAR stories can come in handy. I agree with you that full disclosure over time will bring us closer to our kids. Do you think that there will EVER come a time when you can tell them everything? Now, I know that everything for some may be a lot more hazardous than everything for another. I wasn't the worst, but I was definitely, um, eh busy.. Plus the times have changed. About ten years ago I looked around and asked myself, 'Where the hell did all these perfect people come from?'
Selective and timely disclosure - I think there could be a time and place for discussing most anything. I don't see a good reason to bring up stuff voluntarily. There's gotta be a purpose to it.
My little ones are still pretty young, so I'm not sure how I'll feel as they get older. I have already had several discussions with my older one about stuff I got into at his age that wasn't too smart. I think it made much more of an impact than simply telling him - "Lying is no good. Don't lie!"
No. I won't tell my kids everything! There are some things that I would never want to know about my parents, and I guessing my kids feel the same way about me.
My DH and I were way wilder than our kids have turned out to be. None of them have asked about our experiences with sex, drugs or alcohol, so there doesn't seem to be any reason to bring it up in conversation. Although, it might be kind of a kick to see their jaws drop....
Hmm. I'm very honest with our exchange student about what I was doing at her age, so I'd like to think that I'd also be very honest with my own kids. I wasn't doing anything TOO terrible, but I was having sex (with my long-term boyfriend, who later became my husband) and occasionally drinking, and I did try pot a couple of times. I wasn't a big partier, though, and never tried hardcore drugs. Just enough to prove that I wasn't perfect, but not enough that my kids will think I was out of control, so yeah, I think I'd feel comfortable telling them. They're currently 10 and almost 8, so this has not come up yet.
Oh yeh, I've done some very naughty things in my day, but if the subjects come up, I am totally honest with my kids...I think it's better for your kids to know that you've made mistakes and done stupid things in your life, than to pretend you haven't....it also makes them feel more at ease to tell you mistakes or things they've done, and gives you the chance to help them overcome them, or help them feel that they are not the only ones who've scr@@ed up.
No I don't discuss my childhood much with my children. They have a completely different lifestyle. But I do tell my daughter that when a boy wants a "backrub" that means it is time for her to leave. Best that I tell her some mistakes I made, so she won't make the same ones.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
