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Just because you doesn't agree with the choice to allow a child to self-wean (even if that mean nursing past 2/3 years), doesn't mean you have to claim that someone would only make that choice for selfish reasons. We are all doing what we think is best for our children. Would you like it if I said "I think anyone who weans a child before 2 years old is just being selfish"?
Please quote me where you saw me use the word "selfish". Oh, you can't because I didn't.
What I said was past the 2nd birthday the women I have known who continued to breastfeed did it for themselves. (they admitted that to me)
That is NOT the same thing as calling anyone selfish. It just means the mothers were getting more out of it than the child at that point - it was something they couldn't give up yet, so they didn't even try to wean the children. I suspect many nursing moms are this this way after the 2 year mark, but certainly not all.
I know there are a million stats and studies but in my experience there is no vast difference between bottle vs breast. To me it is just a choice and nothing more. I have always had the Moms who will look at me cross-eyed because I didn't breast feed (and I am sure now some since I said how early I fed my kids), but I personally could care less. I would do it all the same again in a heartbeat.
I admit that breast feeding a child for so long is something I just can't even remotely wrap my head around but I am sure that it is the same for the Moms who rolled their eyes at me. They are your kids, you get to screw them up however you see fit.
Both of mine started cereal before they were a month and were eating everything by 4. They were on table food by 6 months. Goodness, they would have cried from hunger without it. Just surprises me that she wasn't hungry.
My first child was exclusively on breast milk until 8 months old. She was always in the 97th percentile for growth. Go figure.
Well said I appreciate you taking the time to give your views.
I am especially interested in your info on "most" toddlers self weaning by 3.5 years of age. Seems my opinion of age 4 being too old and not the norm is in line with that.
"Most" does not mean the same thing as "all". Just like there is a range for when babies learn to crawl, walk and talk, there is also a range for when they will self wean. Some will wean earlier and some later. The range for self weaning is between 2.5 and 7. So yes, 4 is definitely well within the range of normal.
Here's a link that shows a natural age of weaning according to biological factors.
In societies where children are allowed to nurse "as long as they want" they usually self-wean, with no arguments or emotional trauma, between 3 and 4 years of age.
Quote:
The minimum predicted age for a natural age of weaning in humans is 2.5 years, with a maximum of 7.0 years.
And I've got to say, when mothers choose to breastfeed past the age of 2 they are doing it for themselves, even though most will try to argue "it's for the child"
Definitely not in my case. I want my toddler to wean. Like, yesterday! I've tried so many things to get him to wean, but it's not happening. I have gotten him to cut down on feedings, so I guess it's going in the right direction (just not as fast as I want). With my first child, I weaned her cold-turkey with no problems. I was expecting this kid to do the same, but I made a poor assumption.
Please quote me where you saw me use the word "selfish". Oh, you can't because I didn't.
What I said was past the 2nd birthday the women I have known who continued to breastfeed did it for themselves. (they admitted that to me)
That is NOT the same thing as calling anyone selfish. It just means the mothers were getting more out of it than the child at that point - it was something they couldn't give up yet, so they didn't even try to wean the children. I suspect many nursing moms are this this way after the 2 year mark, but certainly not all.
Oookay... I'll agree that you didn't use the word "selfish". But that's pretty much what doing something just for yourself would be called (as opposed to for the child).
Selfish: Holding one’s self-interest as the standard for decision making selfish - Wiktionary
I agree with the previous poster who said that nursing is a relationship. It has to be working for both parties. There are some advantages to mom as well as the child. But to claim, as a generality, that any mom nursing past X age is only doing it for herself, and not her child, just goes too far. That's all I'm saying.
I am not even speaking on a growth thing, though my children were both pork chops as babies. I am talking hunger. Screaming bloody murder hunger.
There weren't any hunger problems either. I wonder makes some babies hungrier than others. I was one of those super hungry babies, so you'd think my kids would've taken after me.
There weren't any hunger problems either. I wonder makes some babies hungrier than others. I was one of those super hungry babies, so you'd think my kids would've taken after me.
My mother always said it was because I ate so much when I was pregnant. lol
They were always just big eaters from birth onward, it never stopped. When they were finally gone, I bought myself a nice new car with all the money I saved on groceries.
Oookay... I'll agree that you didn't use the word "selfish". But that's pretty much what doing something just for yourself would be called (as opposed to for the child).
Selfish: Holding one’s self-interest as the standard for decision making selfish - Wiktionary
I agree with the previous poster who said that nursing is a relationship. It has to be working for both parties. There are some advantages to mom as well as the child. But to claim, as a generality, that any mom nursing past X age is only doing it for herself, and not her child, just goes too far. That's all I'm saying.
Not trying to argue, but really, "doing something for yourself" does NOT always mean you are being "selfish". And I can assure you I was not trying to call anyone here selfish.
As moms especially we often need to do more for ourselves than we do. Sometimes just doing something for yourself is the healthiest thing you can do. Because if mom is taken care of than everyone else will be better taken care of
I have no problem with a mom wanting to breastfeed a toddler (above the age of 4 is just plain weird to me, but I understand not everyone would agree with my feelings).
And whether she does it for herself or for the child, it's a wash because it's still getting done.
My concern was/is whether or not breastfeeding a child past the toddler stage somehow stunts or delays the emotional growth since it seems to be treating the child like a baby.
Since I doubt there's any real research to deny or support this we can all only go by what we know from personal experience or just gut feeling on what is right and best. And that's okay with me
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I appreciate you taking the time to give your views. 
