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Since their toddlers weren't complaining and since it's not possible to nurse a baby or child against their will then it's obvious that it was not just for the mom's benefit. It sounds like the moms could see that their toddlers weren't ready to wean and they were OK with continuing.
Nursing is a relationship between two people. It will only continue if both parties are willing to do so.
Agree with most of what you've said, except...don't you think there comes a tipping point when continuing to encourage the breastfeeding is potentially "crippling" the child emotionally, keeping them from growing up?
I mean seriously, what age WOULD you say is too old to breastfeed? Surely you can't think a 13 year old should be doing it? I just happen to think a 4 year old is too old
I've read posts here on this forum from women who have breastfed their kids, whose kids have allergies. And there are women here who never breastfed their kids, and their kids don't have any allergies. I don't think breastfeeding is the cure-all for immune systems. It -can- give someone a boost. But if a kid is destined to have allergies, he's gonna have them. Maybe the severety can be reduced by a stronger immune system.
There's the bonding issue too, but again, there are kids who distance themselves from their families, even though they were breastfed. Breastfeeding doesn't guarantee that a child is going to love his mother.
And then there's the weaning age thing - well hm. What about mothers who -can't- breastfeed? Their kids never have to be weaned, because they never go on the breast in the first place. And somehow, children who were never breastfed at all manage to grow up just fine, healthy and harty, happy and well-adjusted. And then there are some who grow up to be axe-murderers. And amazingly, some breastfed kids grow up to be axe murderers, and some grow up find and dandy.
So really, I see no correlation between a child being breastfed, and a child being any more or less well-adjusted than a child who wasn't. Which would indicate, by extension, that a child being weaned when mom says he gets weaned, wouldn't be any worse or better off than a child who was never breastfed, or a child who was breastfed til sonny started growing pubic hair.
Both of mine started cereal before they were a month and were eating everything by 4. They were on table food by 6 months. Goodness, they would have cried from hunger without it. Just surprises me that she wasn't hungry.
My son was exclusively breastfed until five and a half months. Didn't even have a water bottle. He was in the 95 percentile growth-wise. With nursing, the more you nurse, the more milk comes in, so I guess that's why breast milk was enough for him.
Nursing is a personal thing, IMO, and each of my children was different. Both weaned themselves, they just phased out the breast around the time they started walking.
If a mom doesn't want to nurse, then she shouldn't. Ditto with when to wean. It's a choice and the most important thing is that she is supported in doing it the way that works best for her situation.
Last edited by Magnolia Bloom; 12-09-2010 at 07:57 PM..
Agree with most of what you've said, except...don't you think there comes a tipping point when continuing to encourage the breastfeeding is potentially "crippling" the child emotionally, keeping them from growing up?
I mean seriously, what age WOULD you say is too old to breastfeed? Surely you can't think a 13 year old should be doing it? I just happen to think a 4 year old is too old
If children are allowed to nurse as long as they want, most will wean themselves around the age of three and a half. According to research on what the natural age of weaning is in humans based on biological factors the minimum predicted age is two and a half and the maximum is seven. Thirteen is far outside of that range so no I wouldn't think that a thirteen year old who was still nursing was normal.
I definitely don't think that allowing a child to nurse past the age of 2 (or even 3 or 4 or 5 or 6) is emotionally crippling or keeping them from growing up. I think that allowing them the opportunity to let go of nursing in their own time leads to greater independence as their dependency needs have been met and they can move forward with confidence. I think that trying to push independence before children are ready is more likely to cause problems then allowing them to move into independence at their own pace and when they are developmentally ready for it.
Most mothers who practice child led weaning don't exactly encourage breastfeeding. Most wean slowly by not offering the breast but at the same time not refusing if their child asks for it. Most mothers will put limits on nursing throughout the years based on their own comfort level. Nursing is a relationship between two people and I consider weaning to be a very gradual proccess.
If children are allowed to nurse as long as they want, most will wean themselves around the age of three and a half. According to research on what the natural age of weaning is in humans based on biological factors the minimum predicted age is two and a half and the maximum is seven. Thirteen is far outside of that range so no I wouldn't think that a thirteen year old who was still nursing was normal.
I definitely don't think that allowing a child to nurse past the age of 2 (or even 3 or 4 or 5 or 6) is emotionally crippling or keeping them from growing up. I think that allowing them the opportunity to let go of nursing in their own time leads to greater independence as their dependency needs have been met and they can move forward with confidence. I think that trying to push independence before children are ready is more likely to cause problems then allowing them to move into independence at their own pace and when they are developmentally ready for it.
Most mothers who practice child led weaning don't exactly encourage breastfeeding. Most wean slowly by not offering the breast but at the same time not refusing if their child asks for it. Most mothers will put limits on nursing throughout the years based on their own comfort level. Nursing is a relationship between two people and I consider weaning to be a very gradual proccess.
Well said I appreciate you taking the time to give your views.
I am especially interested in your info on "most" toddlers self weaning by 3.5 years of age. Seems my opinion of age 4 being too old and not the norm is in line with that.
You can breastfeed them or give them a bottle if they cry from being hungry. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not starting solids until babies are 6 months old. I realize that this is different from what was done 20+ years ago; I'm not sure how old your kids are.
At our office we say 4-6 months. Some moms are super-eager to start solids for some reason; others are in no hurry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Actually, even 20 years ago pediatricians warned against starting infants on cereal so young. Hopefully your kids didn't develop food allergies or weight problems over the years because of it?
Yeah, even 35 years ago and more, when I was a very young pediatric nurse, the advice was to wait until 4-6 months.
Nursing past the age where there is any benefit, or after age 3 or so, is really for the mom and not the kid. I dont' exactly know what...but I've only known 2 women to do that and both of them were in it for themselves for whatever reason.
Nursing past the age where there is any benefit, or after age 3 or so, is really for the mom and not the kid. I dont' exactly know what...but I've only known 2 women to do that and both of them were in it for themselves for whatever reason.
I hang with a pretty crunchy crowd, and know at least 30 moms personally (in two states!) who nurse until their babies/toddlers wean. I assure you that we do not do it for ourselves.
And I've got to say, when mothers choose to breastfeed past the age of 2 they are doing it for themselves, even though most will try to argue "it's for the child"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece
Nursing past the age where there is any benefit, or after age 3 or so, is really for the mom and not the kid. I dont' exactly know what...but I've only known 2 women to do that and both of them were in it for themselves for whatever reason.
Just because you doesn't agree with the choice to allow a child to self-wean (even if that mean nursing past 2/3 years), doesn't mean you have to claim that someone would only make that choice for selfish reasons. We are all doing what we think is best for our children. Would you like it if I said "I think anyone who weans a child before 2 years old is just being selfish"?
I've read posts here on this forum from women who have breastfed their kids, whose kids have allergies. And there are women here who never breastfed their kids, and their kids don't have any allergies. I don't think breastfeeding is the cure-all for immune systems. It -can- give someone a boost. But if a kid is destined to have allergies, he's gonna have them. Maybe the severety can be reduced by a stronger immune system.
There's the bonding issue too, but again, there are kids who distance themselves from their families, even though they were breastfed. Breastfeeding doesn't guarantee that a child is going to love his mother.
And then there's the weaning age thing - well hm. What about mothers who -can't- breastfeed? Their kids never have to be weaned, because they never go on the breast in the first place. And somehow, children who were never breastfed at all manage to grow up just fine, healthy and harty, happy and well-adjusted. And then there are some who grow up to be axe-murderers. And amazingly, some breastfed kids grow up to be axe murderers, and some grow up find and dandy.
So really, I see no correlation between a child being breastfed, and a child being any more or less well-adjusted than a child who wasn't. Which would indicate, by extension, that a child being weaned when mom says he gets weaned, wouldn't be any worse or better off than a child who was never breastfed, or a child who was breastfed til sonny started growing pubic hair.
Great post.
I know there are a million stats and studies but in my experience there is no vast difference between bottle vs breast. To me it is just a choice and nothing more. I have always had the Moms who will look at me cross-eyed because I didn't breast feed (and I am sure now some since I said how early I fed my kids), but I personally could care less. I would do it all the same again in a heartbeat.
I admit that breast feeding a child for so long is something I just can't even remotely wrap my head around but I am sure that it is the same for the Moms who rolled their eyes at me. They are your kids, you get to screw them up however you see fit.
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You can breastfeed them or give them a bottle if they cry from being hungry. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends not starting solids until babies are 6 months old. I realize that this is different from what was done 20+ years ago; I'm not sure how old your kids are.
