My Princess Boy (pregnant, clothes, playing, children)
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If the boy wants to wear dresses then Seattle is a great place for him, now the Southeast where I live is a different story.
My issue is don't let him wear the dress in public specifically to school. Ya'll may be understanding but I doubt schoolkids will be as understanding.
Apparently these school kids are. It might not be the case when he is older though. It sounds like the teachers in his school are doing a good job teaching kids that everyone is different and that is not *bad.*
That dad seems cool too. It is usually the dads who have problems with this, ime. I had one dad who had a fit that his 18 month old liked to dress up at our daycare. Little one loved ballerina shoes and tutus. He was just a baby and no one was upset about it except his dad.
The reality is, he will be bullied. The world is full of narrow minded individuals.
The little boy thinks he's gay, okay. He shouldn't wear a dress to school. He should wear pants. Maybe girl pants (not sure with that). He can explore at home with mom and dad. This is when you sit your kid down and explain the harsh and cruel world to him.
I suggest, enrolling the kid into karate or boxing. He WILL get the crap kicked out of him in school. Trust that.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053
Apparently these school kids are. It might not be the case when he is older though. It sounds like the teachers in his school are doing a good job teaching kids that everyone is different and that is not *bad.*
That dad seems cool too. It is usually the dads who have problems with this, ime. I had one dad who had a fit that his 18 month old liked to dress up at our daycare. Little one loved ballerina shoes and tutus. He was just a baby and no one was upset about it except his dad.
I'm sorry but until that kid is 18 and can get a sex change operation without parental consent, that dad's duty is to teach him how to become a MAN. What will he do when his kid tries to get an after-school job at age 16 and wants to go to his interview in a dress assuming he stays a boy?
I'm sorry but until that kid is 18 and can get a sex change operation without parental consent, that dad's duty is to teach him how to become a MAN. What will he do when his kid tries to get an after-school job at age 16 and wants to go to his interview in a dress assuming he stays a boy?
And what is your definition of a MAN?
My MAN is an ex-Navy SEAL instructor, boot wearing construction working master carpenter that knows how to crochet, never ran away from a dry diaper,and cries during sad movies kinda guy. To me, a real man is someone who knows who he is and has courage enough to be who he is. That takes more guts than conforming to some stereotype of what a man should be.
My daughter's best friend (one of them) is a 13 yr old boy who has told her he is bi-sexual. She is all good with that and it is sort of a private thing between them and their little group of friends. She said it wasn't everyone else's business. We were discussing it because she has been using the label "gay" a little to freely for my taste lately. Anything weird is "gay" or different is "gay". I explained to her that to some people saying something is "gay" is an offensive term. I asked her what do you think it means? She said she thought being gay meant you wanted to be a girl. Hmmmm noooooo since D. has come to you and said he thinks he is "Bi" what do you think that means? Well she isn't real sure, something about being a girl maybe? He has plaid outfits and "you know" real men don't wear anything plaid. He color co-ordinates his clothes and spends more time on his hair than any other boy she knows. SHE don't even spend that much time on her hair (yet).
So I told her basically what being bi-sexual means...and being "gay". She was a little freaked out about it since it really didn't meet her expectations of what she thought it was. So now she says she is going to have to ask D. what HE thinks it is. I told her just to be sensitive (cautious) that it might not be something he wants to discuss in front of 'The Group' of friends they have. 'The Group' consists of 3-4 boys and 3-4 girls all in 8th grade. Two of the boys are twin brothers, D. and M. M. has a girlfriend and has been her boyfriend for a couple of years. D. and my daughter were actually bf/gf for about 6 months..and decided they had rather be friends than romantic. Romantic is "weird" with D. she says.
If the boy wants to wear dresses then Seattle is a great place for him, now the Southeast where I live is a different story.
My issue is don't let him wear the dress in public specifically to school. Ya'll may be understanding but I doubt schoolkids will be as understanding.
You're right school kids will probably tease him, he'll probably even get beat up once or twice but this is the case with MOST kids, it's part of growing up. If it's not dresses its because you wear glasses or because you have braces, or because you can't read as well as everyone else, or because you are too smart or because you shop at kmart or because you're spoiled and only wear lables or because you are taller than everyone or shorter, or black or white or younger or older or WHATEVER. It sucks but kids get teased.
Instead of teaching children to hide their differences so they are not bullied we should ALL teach our children to celebrate their indivuality and be tolorant of others and thier identities sexual or otherwise. Can you imagine how much easier childhood would be for everyone, not just kids like the one in the video?
I see no reason this kid should have to 'hide' his dress wearing and only do it at home. As long as he's not wearing costumes to school just regular dresses any little girl would wear. The kids in his school will grow up with this being a little more normal to them it may even help other kids in future years come out and be themselves after seeing his bravery.
I honestly believe that hiding things like this is what has led all those priests to molest little boys, they are so ashamed of who they really are that they chose a profession that will not cause people to ask questions as to why there is no woman. When their sexuality is bursting at the seams they chose victims who they think will be the least likely to oust them.
My daughter's best friend (one of them) is a 13 yr old boy who has told her he is bi-sexual. She is all good with that and it is sort of a private thing between them and their little group of friends. She said it wasn't everyone else's business. We were discussing it because she has been using the label "gay" a little to freely for my taste lately. Anything weird is "gay" or different is "gay". I explained to her that to some people saying something is "gay" is an offensive term. I asked her what do you think it means? She said she thought being gay meant you wanted to be a girl. Hmmmm noooooo since D. has come to you and said he thinks he is "Bi" what do you think that means? Well she isn't real sure, something about being a girl maybe? He has plaid outfits and "you know" real men don't wear anything plaid. He color co-ordinates his clothes and spends more time on his hair than any other boy she knows. SHE don't even spend that much time on her hair (yet).
So I told her basically what being bi-sexual means...and being "gay". She was a little freaked out about it since it really didn't meet her expectations of what she thought it was. So now she says she is going to have to ask D. what HE thinks it is. I told her just to be sensitive (cautious) that it might not be something he wants to discuss in front of 'The Group' of friends they have. 'The Group' consists of 3-4 boys and 3-4 girls all in 8th grade. Two of the boys are twin brothers, D. and M. M. has a girlfriend and has been her boyfriend for a couple of years. D. and my daughter were actually bf/gf for about 6 months..and decided they had rather be friends than romantic. Romantic is "weird" with D. she says.
In my experience, people who embrace their individuality and are not afraid of who/what they are tend not to be the ones who get bullied and teased, especially among the older crowd. It's the ones that everyone suspects something about, but that person tries to hide, that tends to suffer the harshest ridicule.
Not that a few anecdotes from my past are universally true, but I am reminded of a few kids in my high school. One of them "S" was always teased for being "gay". He adamantly denied he was and suffered all the teasing and shunning that goes along with it. Between our junior and senior years he came out of the closet. When he embraced the fact he was gay and was no longer ashamed himself, people accepted him for who he was. Later on he became the inspiration for 3 other kids to come out of the closet. One of them was featured on MTV's True Life and two others were a little quieter about, but cited "S" as an inspiration. This was back in the late '90's when being "gay" was even more of a no-no than it is today and I didn't grow up in an exactly liberal area when it came to those things.
The other person I know of went to school in a neighboring town. He was always into ballet, dance, etc. and was openly gay. He was the only male on the color guard in a high school marching band in the area. People derogatively referred to him as a "flaggot". However, he was confident in who he was and was not ashamed to stand in front of his house and practice his routine. In his own school he was rather popular and never had a problem fitting in.
So, when it comes to your kid, no matter how deviant the behavior may seem to "normal" society, I think it is important to teach them to embrace and never be ashamed of who they are. Bullies look for the weakness. When they can't tease you about being gay or wearing dresses, because you openly are or wear them without shame, you take all the ammo away. There will always be a group who will avoid you or treat you like the plague, but chances are they won't ridicule you. That really falls into the story of "S" above. When he was closeted it was obvious that it BOTHERED him when people called him gay and said harassing things to him. Once he accepted the fact he was and the taunts no longer bothered him, they stopped.
I agree that the problem is NOT the kid who wants to wear a dress, but rather the people who can't handle that.
As far as job interviews, the world will probably be a different place then. Many of us have already worked with cross-dressing co-workers. It's not a big deal, and will be less of a big deal as time goes on. And of course people do have to learn what's appropriate to wear at different times, but I think that means making the kid wear tights in the winter under his dress if it's cold out, not making him wear pants.
You can't protect kids from being teased or hurt all the time, anyway. Better teach him that he can stand up for what he wants to do and it's not his problem if someone else doesn't like the fact that he's wearing a dress, not pants.
If girls can wear pants, why can't boys wear dresses??
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