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we moved away from our family, and so thanksgiving is tough to get together for. most of us have to work the next day and we cant make the trip and back in the same day. so we stay "home". the last couple of years we spent it with friends/neighbors. this year maybe we will just stay home and enjoy the holiday alone.
i hate that feeling of pressure that compounds when holidays are coming. makes me sometimes wish it was just a normal day.
i always feel like the days are sneaking up on me and i am not prepaired.
Sorry your holidays are like that, steel. My family is small and my husband is not that close to his family (his parents have passed now), our only child died nine years ago etc. Since this has all come about, we don't have the big family to get with either anymore. I dunno. The holidays bring many high expectations of "norman rockwell-ish picturesque" type holiday celebrations and when our actual lives don't look like that, we feel let down even those of us who may not be totally alone. I think it is good for those that do have family to remember those who may be spending the holiday alone and invite them if it's feasible.
We will probably take some food down and spend Thanksgiving with my mother at her house in a neighboring suburb. Really, my one piece of advice to those who have small families or no family (due to whatever circumstance) that you try to cultivate a circle of really good friends who can become your family. Often getting involved with a good church is a way to do this. We have made really good lifelong friends this way and have spent several holidays with them. They become your "chosen family" if you know what I mean.
We have a small family, too. No extended family, just a few scattered cousins we just exchange pre-printed Christmas cards with, that's all.
Friends aren't family. We've found that friends make themselves scarce around the holidays, probably afraid we might want to worm our way in, no, sorry, that's ok, we really don't want to interfere with your holidays.
Our holidays have become more basic and scaled-down over the years. I try to keep things to a minimum of hassle and cost. At least the kids no longer believe in Santa so we don't do that bit anymore!
In less then 3 short weeks thanksgiving will be here. As usual ill be spending it without family. I have a father, step mom, nephew, cousin, ex bro in law & sister that all live within a 11 mile radius of me & except for my sister they treat me poorly. I could be living in my car with my cats & they wouldnt help me out one single bit.
I started listening to christmas music in late oct this yr & i have all my xmas lps & cds out. Ill put my lights out this yr (11 yrs) but thats about it.
Ill most likely go to a free thanksgiving & xmas dinner place this yr in yucaipa, ca just like i did like yr.
The last family thanksgiving dinner i went to was when my sister was alive (nov.2002).
So....whats everyone doing on turkey day ?
Oh I very sorry..Can I ask why your family dont invite you over for the holidays?..
I say go volunteer and help with Thanksgiving dinner. Im sure you will have a good time. Its always a blessing helping those less fortunate out and who knows you may make some new friends.
I dont celebrate holidays, So I take my girls to their dads and they have big celebrations. My mom is coming over for Christmas I will put up a tree for her and my girls..I love my family around wether it be a holiday or not.
Im going to see my mom for Thanksgiving in Kansas its my vacation time. I know she will have a big dinner. If I wasnt going to Kansas I would be volunteering somewhere.
Go to your local shelter and ask how you can volunteer during the holidays Im sure they'd love to have you.
Is that what you want, looking at those so down and out they are probably homeless or close to it? Such a thrill!
And just where are these marvelous shelters? Usually in the worse parts of town, many are so bad even the homeless refuse to go there. Just how do you plan to get back and forth, drive your car, park it there, risk it getting stolen?
The idea is, some people don't have people to spend the holidays with. So, they seek out "people" at shelters, etc. Hardly fits. I had a few Thanksgivings I couldn't make it home, spent the day cleaning out closets, etc, enjoyed my free time. Its not like must have big doings or die!
I am sorry for the OP. I know what it is like to be estranged from the people who r supposed to love u the most. The holidays makes the distance that much further, I think u just have to find happiness and even love where u can and in the moments. I don't have any set plans, beyond a meal and hope for peace.
I will be working 3 till 10 pm on Thanksgiving so, I will be baking our turkey the next day. I don't have to work 'black friday' so having the day off will be a treat. Our son is coming over for dinner then we'll get the tree out and decorate it. Watch a Christmas movie...Holiday Affair and Rudolph are our family's favorites. I love this time of year. So much to be thankful for.
Thanksgiving will be a small affair at my house this year with my sis and bro-in-law, our elderly aunt and me. I'll still make a big turkey with all the trimmings, plus pumpkin and pecan pies. My guests will get to take lots of good food home with them!
Christmas is very special to me. My mom died in 1971, when I was in high school. Ever since then, my sis and bro-in-law and I have been invited to spend Christmas day with the extended family of my parents' best friends, "Aunt Shirley" and "Uncle Bob." They had 6 kids and those kids all had multiple kids; now we've got a bunch of great-grandkids in the mix. Huge family, and total chaos on Christmas day. It's wonderful! Shirley and Bob have both since died, but we're still included in the family's Christmas festivities. This year will mark our 40th Christmas with this wonderful family who adopted us!
More families then you think dont get along. Lots of backstabbers at family gatherings. Some of the threads on c-d about families are a eye opener.
Im used to it by now but i did have a chance to go to my nephews last xmas for dinner but i declined.
Like every yr thanksgiving & christmas comes & go.
One Thanksgiving, when my family members all traveled elsewhere for Thanksgiving and I found myself alone, a friend invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with her family, at her mom's house. It was one of the best Thanksgivings ever. The family was delighted to help out this "orphan" that day!
Steel, do you have friends who celebrate Thanksgiving? Perhaps you could join one of them at whatever festivities they participate in.
Or, you could volutneer at a mission as a previous poster suggested, and serve needy families on Thanksgiving day. There is so much need out there, and you just might find that you get even more out of it than they do.
Good luck to you.
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