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You said you know your neighbors are the "early to bed, early to rise" types, but 10:00 p.m. isn't exactly early, and if you're the love-to-laugh types, you probably continue being raucous inside the house, too, which can be overheard. How long does the party go on?
As has been noted many times, extroverts always ask introverts why they're so quiet, but introverts never ask extroverts why they're so loud.
The parties are not raucous . Dinner and a game with some laughter? Usually we wrap up around 11:00 occasionally midnight and sometimes 10:00. There is no set schedule.
One more suggestion about your social activities with your other neighbours and friends. Stop always bringing visitors to your house and you and your husband start going to their houses instead. Everybody take turns rotating whose turn it is to entertain friends and neighbours in their homes.
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We do rotate. Hence why this is only once or twice a month at our home.
I read it. Been following it since it was started. Like everyone always says "we're only hearing one side."
Perhaps if they weren't so noisy, the busybody would have found something else to focus on. Perhaps her trespassing behavior is a form of retaliation.
We are not noisy LOL! However when 4-6 people are gathered normal talking and laughter can create a higher decimal for sure.
There are two homes with pools that border her home. I wonder if she spies on them too? Because they have pool parties and a ton Of kids screaming and playing.
If I really had scale the goings on I would say we are definitely in the bottom percentage of noise makers in our immediate area.
This occurred to me as well. In the early stages there's often a fixation on something or someone.
There are a lot of suggestions here for dropping hints that are too passive. You need to be direct with her. Invite her over for coffee and explain that you adore her but are concerned because she is doing all these things that feel intrusive to you. If that doesn't work, have a chat with the husband about it but frame it as you are seeing worrisome signs in her behavior, etc etc. and that you spoke to her about it yet it continues and you're concerned there might be a problem.
I really never considered dementia. This saddens me to think it could be this. I really don’t think so as when we tak she seems very with it.
I'm always amazed how people buy houses in close proximity to others and then proceed to live like they would live on a more spacious property.
If you want to sit outdoors and entertain, you should buy a home that isn't in close proximity to others. It's like someone buying a row house then proceeding to park 4 cars on a congested street, with no regard for others who need to find parking spaces.
Although I didn't read anything that sounds like you are out of bounds, you do have to realize that you are living in close proximity to others and your social events on the porch do affect the neighbor. I have to agree with the poster who said, ”Put yourself in their shoes”. I don't hear that you even somewhat care about how your social events on the porch affect the neighbors except you go inside at 10 pm. That means the noise is going on all night. Don't other people have the right to enjoy a nice, quiet evening, without having to listen to their neighbors socializing?
It's not a matter of inviting them over, either. I'm single and I don't want to be invited to neighbors' parties. I just want some quiet evenings without having to listen to parties. My rights are just as important as yours.
Your solution is if anyone ever intends on having a guest to their home, watching TV inside their home etc. then you should live out in the middle of nowhere on large acreage?
She mentioned noise once in passing many years ago and we did care.
As you said their rights are just as important as ours. We have the right to have friends over.
We live in an area with many homes , yards with pools, young children, retired couples, empty nesters etc. so you’re saying everyone should be silent because they like quiet?
Maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe they should have weighed the noise possibility before buying and since they expect silence purchased accordingly.
But overall many have missed the gist of my post. We get along with all our Neighbors and like them all. We are also well received.
Perhaps someone needs to get a hold of Mrs. Kravitz and get here set up here on CD and tell her side of the story. She might decide that commenting on here is a better waste of one's time than bothering her neighbor.
Unlikely. Perhaps she had this sort of relationship with the previous home owners and seems to think this is acceptable. With some people you have to be blunt and the OP has not been up to this point. She seems like the type that at the grocery store comments to others on what they have in their basket and does not understand social boundaries. Strikes up conversations with strangers who don't really want to talk to her. Her husband is the opposite. Probably intentionally. He has had years of being along side her when she does not know when to shut up or give people proper space.
You’re correct. I have not been blunt. I dislike confrontation. I’m an introvert. I mistakingly thought she would pick up on my comments and take the social cues that they convey.
I am going to need to change my wording to convey that she isn’t welcome.
That said I’m not sure how I can control her peeking in windows, etc.
One thing I thing worth noting in this story is this is the only neighbor they have had an issue with. If the homes are close I am going to assume they are evenly spaced and assume they have neighbors on the other side as well as across the street and behind them. If they are so loud and "rude" I would think others would complain.
Yes we have Neighbors all around us. Pools, kids, dogs. It’s a typical suburban neighborhood. All ages etc.
I also think people have taken my one comment about noise and run with it.
She commented once in passing years ago.
We have had no complaints, even from them.
We get on well with all our Neighbors.
The issue is OUR privacy. She is invading OUR privacy.
She is a peeping Tom or I. This case a peeping Tina.
She comes into our yard, garage back yard screened in porch without invitation and even after us commenting we aren’t comfortable about it.
Quite honestly I’m perplexed by how us occasionally having friends over for dinner and a game of cards and us watching TV inside our private home has made us the villains here.
Sometimes people who are "having a good time" don't realize how loud they get.
I agree with this!
When you live in a neighborhood I think there is give and take. We don’t get upset when tbe home behind us is having a pool party that is loud and goes well into the night. It isn’t a nightly thing. They’re kids swimming and being loud is a daily thing in summer but they are kids. I’d much rather hear them having fun in a pool than vandalizing the neighborhood.
Last edited by CoastalElegance; 05-08-2023 at 09:35 AM..
Thank you to those who were able to make me see that I/we are not being direct/blunt enough with her. I tried to rate those comments positively but I guess this site will only let you do that so many times. Im still learning how this forum works.
My next effort will be to be more direct as in “we aren’t taking visitors at the moment “ or something along those lines when she walks into our yard and into our porch.
I actually like the idea of closing my garage immediately after pulling in but then I couldn’t open the hatch to unload my stuff. So that one will be more tough.
Still not sure what to do about the peeping and eavesdropping.
Thank you to those who were able to make me see that I/we are not being direct/blunt enough with her. I tried to rate those comments positively but I guess this site will only let you do that so many times. Im still learning how this forum works.
My next effort will be to be more direct as in “we aren’t taking visitors at the moment “ or something along those lines when she walks into our yard and into our porch.
I actually like the idea of closing my garage immediately after pulling in but then I couldn’t open the hatch to unload my stuff. So that one will be more tough.
Still not sure what to do about the peeping and eavesdropping.
I still think you need to address it with her husband present as well.
It's one thing if a neighbour sees you pull in and wanders over to chat, but being in your yard and spying on you is considered trespassing or nuisance behaviour.
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She might decide that commenting on here is a better waste of one's time than bothering her neighbor. 
