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You know...I'm wondering...when this happened... " I let them know that they were welcome to come over and join us." if she somehow took that to mean she was welcome to drop by anytime she wanted.
"At the very, very most once a week..." Well, which is it? The story keeps changing.
Also, if you "jokingly" refer to her as Mrs. Kravitz, I'm sure she overhears that, too.
It's trite to pin the OP down to exact times and frequencies. Mrs. Kravitz is definitely a pest. If she overhears the Mrs. K. reference to her, too bad. Most people would call her something a lot worse.
We downsized after the kids went away to school and moved out.
We spend a lot of time on our screened porch which is on the back of our home. We love it ! In fact it was the main decision maker when we bought this home. It’s large and we have a full dining room table as well as sitting area out there.
Our lots are smaller here and the homes are closer together. We have no issue with that because one of our goals was to have a manageable lot size so we were not slaves to yard work.
We love our Neighbors and have great relationships with all of them.
A weekend evening/night often includes us having friends over. Grilling, dining and often playing games on our porch. It’s nothing crazy or obnoxious. But we do love to laugh and there is always a lot of that.
Early on our neighbor on one side commented that we can get really loud. I was immediately horrified that we were disturbing them! She assured me we weren’t. I let them know that they were welcome to come over and join us.
I pointedly invited them each time I knew we would be entertaining. They came twice. They sat and chatted but left pretty early. I continued to extend the invitations but after the first two times they joined us they would decline. Eventually I stopped inviting them.
We learned that they are pretty early to bed early to rise people. With this in mind and in an effort to not disturb them once the clock hits 10:00 we will move ourselves and our guests inside. 10:00 is our towns noise ordinance.
During Covid my daughter and son came home from college as most did because they closed the campus down. They made comment that they swear Mrs. Kravitz was peeking at them through the blinds.
I laughed it off because the idea was so preposterous.
Fast forward. Mrs. Kravitz in chatting has made comments that are weird. Some examples. She knows things about conversations my husband has had with his mother on the phone. Some on the porch, some inside. She has started up conversations with statements like “I saw you watch Survivorâ€.
She has unlocked our fence and walked into our yard and right up onto and in our porch and had conversations with us.
I take my morning coffee out on my porch and often in my pajamas and she has barged right in. Even after I have said “Mrs Kravitz I’m in my pajamasâ€. Her response is “oh it’s fine I don’t care about thatâ€
Well I care!!!
In an effort to give us more privacy we have planted a number of trees and hedges along our fence.
We also have had opaque solar shades Installed on our porch. The only place we couldn’t place a shade was on the screen door of the porch due to space and weight constraints.
Mrs. Kravitz has now figured out exactly where to stand along the fence where there is a break in the hedge and an angle where she can look into our porch through the screen door.
My husband and I have started joking “May Day ,May Day the eagle has landed. Do not make eye contact, I repeat , do not make eye contact.â€
But honestly it has become and issue.
We have placed a lock on our gate that requires a key to open.
Yesterday I came home and pulled into my garage. Before I could even get out of my car she was standing inside my garage “needing to talk to meâ€
I understand that living on smaller lots affords one less privacy. Our first home was of this nature and yet we never ever have experienced anything like this.
We have made comments in the nature of
“we really enjoy our alone time out on the porch.â€
“When the shades are down , no one should come roundâ€
We really are at a loss. They are nice people.
Looking for suggestions on how one might remedy this without hurting anyone’s feelings.
Goodness, this is a sticky for sure. You like your neighbors and enjoy your friendship, so now you're going to have to put them (or her) in their place. Wait until the next "event" and at that time, be serious about the subject. Tell her honestly that you're uncomfortable with whatever it is. Or at your next get together, invite them as well as all your other neighbors and bring up the subject of privacy and how sometimes other people don't respect that. Don't name any names, but the culprits will know it's them and I promise they will stop. A little subtle embarrassment never hurt anyone. They need to be embarrassed.
Oh [Snip.] is the original poster supposed to have an exact written schedule of her activities? Petty much?
in the off chance that they do refer to the neighbor as Mrs. Kravitz, then it sure hasn't deterred the neighbor from over stepping her boundaries.
My couple friend/neighbors... He (of him and her, an unmarried couple) calls her Gladys Kravitz to her face. LOL When she had her den in the front of the house we used to get a blow by blow. Now, still, she seems to know way more than I ever dreamed about the few houses on each side of her on both sides of the street. All I know is from what I actually interact with. There is some level of security in having a grapevine in the neighborhood. Plus, everyone is fine with things as long as people are keeping up their properties (and the property values). It is a HOA, so there's that....
Oh [Snip.] is the original poster supposed to have an exact written schedule of her activities? Petty much?
The point is there's a difference between twice a month and every weekend. OP seems to be minimizing her role in this. It's curious (to me, anyway) that the narrative changes. There are two sides to every story, as others have noted... It'd be interesting to hear Mrs. Kravitz's side of it.
The point is there's a difference between twice a month and every weekend. OP seems to be minimizing her role in this. It's curious (to me, anyway) that the narrative changes. There are two sides to every story, as others have noted... It'd be interesting to hear Mrs. Kravitz's side of it.
At the most, OP is entertaining 4x a month. That's not excessive.
But it's also not the issue. Mrs. Kravitz TOLD OP that the loudness was not an issue to them. Mrs. Kravitz had the opportunity to tell OP, if it WAS an issue...but she assured OP that it wasn't. But OP, trying to be a good neighbor, moves her company inside before it gets too late.
The issue is Mrs. Kravitz not adhering to normal boundaries, and peeking in windows, and helping herself to their backyard without an invite.
Not how many times a month OP chooses to entertain.
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