Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Mrs. Kravitz in chatting has made comments that are weird. Some examples. She knows things about conversations my husband has had with his mother on the phone. Some on the porch, some inside. She has started up conversations with statements like “I saw you watch Survivor”.
I see no reason to be nice to this person. She is a peeping Tammy. I would go out on my porch and let her hear a conversation, pause, and then say loudly, "Hold on, I have to go to another part of my property. There's this busybody who keeps listening to my conversations."
And then I would get a dog. A nice big one. She has no right to trespass onto your property like that.
The point is there's a difference between twice a month and every weekend. OP seems to be minimizing her role in this. It's curious (to me, anyway) that the narrative changes. There are two sides to every story, as others have noted... It'd be interesting to hear Mrs. Kravitz's side of it.
I think the OP has been more than accommodating. She is following noise ordinances in her community and moves her gatherings indoors at 10 PM. She is not obliged to do more than that, for any reason. If she wanted to have people over every night, she is entitled to do that, and as long as they are not being noisy after 10 PM, there's nothing Mrs. Krapbag can do about it.
Meanwhile, this busybody is up in the OP's business, peering into windows, barging onto their property, etc. She might be lonely, but I can see why. Mrs. Krapbag needs to mind her own business, and failing that, she needs to be put in her place. She probably has those listening devices they sell in the back of gossip rags.
I think the OP has been more than accommodating. She is following noise ordinances in her community and moves her gatherings indoors at 10 PM. She is not obliged to do more than that, for any reason. If she wanted to have people over every night, she is entitled to do that, and as long as they are not being noisy after 10 PM, there's nothing Mrs. Krapbag can do about it.
Meanwhile, this busybody is up in the OP's business, peering into windows, barging onto their property, etc. She might be lonely, but I can see why. Mrs. Krapbag needs to mind her own business, and failing that, she needs to be put in her place. She probably has those listening devices they sell in the back of gossip rags.
OP~ If you've had to change/adjust your lifestyle because of this, and you are NOT breaking any laws/municipal codes, then "Mrs. Kravitz" has won. If you "feel like you are being watched" then it's time to call the authorities.
There are some people who just don't get "social cues". They don't have to be "on the spectrum" to just be clueless. For these people there is a little thing we call the English language. Just be clear the next time, and every time after that, speak plainly and simply with no sign of backing down from what you mean when you speak to her. And use your movements to make it clear that you are ending a conversation, like turning your back or walking away. If she's barging in without knocking, you can say "My gosh, you really should call or text before coming over, it's not a good time", back her out the door. Or "For heaven's sake don't just walk into anyone's home. I'm not ready for guests, please go now." And walk her towards the door and hold it open until she leaves. If she starts talking instead of leaving, say "I'm sorry, I really need for you to go now, please". If she corners you in the garage as you get home say "Do you mind? I need to go in the house right now. If you need something call me later", then turn and walk inside, hitting the garage door opener on your way in.
My DH has a big problem with confrontation and is WAY too nice. He used to have a neighbor who constantly dropped in when he was working on the car or in the yard, and he'd let this guy go on and on for 30 to 45 minutes interrupting his concentration and work. When DH said it was annoying, I said how would the guy know that? DH never let on about his annoyance and the neighbor just prattled on and on. I put an end to that for him. I would just see this guy bugging DH outside and I'd stick my head out and say "Honey come quick! I need your help", or "Honey your mom's on the phone, it's urgent", giving DH a quick getaway and he could go back out after neighbor was gone. He was too nice to say "Look I really need to get this done, and I really don't have time to catch up with you right now". I don't know why, but some people have trouble simply saying what they mean. You don't have to be cruel or mean about it, just be plain-spoken.
I'd also figure out a way to block that doorway she can see into, maybe put a trellis with some vines (even fake vines would work and are "full grown" right away) into the opening in the hedge, or put a light curtain or window film over the door.
You're definitely not the problem OP. I think some of the posters on this thread are blaming you for just having company a couple times a month. We had a neighbor who was mad that DH waited until the evening (6-7 pm) to mow because it was 95 degrees and high humidity during the day, and in the morning it's too wet. You don't get that kind of silence in a suburban neighborhood, and if someone expects that they should move to the country. Even then they'll still complain about the roosters, or the donkey braying, or a motorcycle on the street. You can't please some people.
Last edited by TheShadow; 05-10-2023 at 09:38 AM..
I want to thank everyone who gave me ideas on how to approach the situation.
Due to an occurance that happened last night my husband and I will be speaking to them both Friday.
I won’t leave you in the dark on this one.
We have an alarm system on our home. We don’t use it on a regular basis. We live in a safe area however we have it for one reason and one reason only. My husband travels about 6x a year for business give or take. I don’t like being home alone when he isn’t here. Our bedroom is on the first level of the house and I just never sleep well when he was on one of his business trips. We had the alarm installed and I use it when he is out of town. As I said that doesn’t happen often but I feel better having it and sleep better with it when he is gone.
Last night I set the alarm at around 9:00pm. I settled down to binge watch some TV. At 10:52 pm I got an alert on my phone that the backyard camera had detected someone. I immediately logged into my app but I got a message saying the backyard camera had an error and couldn’t bring up the video/photo. I was trying to decide whether I should call the police, call a neighbor friend and have her husband come over or just assume it was an error when my husband called.
My husband said he had gotten the alert . Our system is set up so that it sends the photo to his email. When he looked at the email it showed what we are 99% positive is Mrs Kravitz in our back yard.
I say 99% positive because if anyone has seen a photo from these systems they aren’t the clearest.
I can’t tell you the absolute sick feeling that came over me when my husband said it was her.
We contemplated calling the police but decided that we will speak to the husband and her when my husband returns on Friday.
I want to thank everyone who gave me ideas on how to approach the situation.
Due to an occurance that happened last night my husband and I will be speaking to them both Friday.
I won’t leave you in the dark on this one.
We have an alarm system on our home. We don’t use it on a regular basis. We live in a safe area however we have it for one reason and one reason only. My husband travels about 6x a year for business give or take. I don’t like being home alone when he isn’t here. Our bedroom is on the first level of the house and I just never sleep well when he was on one of his business trips. We had the alarm installed and I use it when he is out of town. As I said that doesn’t happen often but I feel better having it and sleep better with it when he is gone.
Last night I set the alarm at around 9:00pm. I settled down to binge watch some TV. At 10:52 pm I got an alert on my phone that the backyard camera had detected someone. I immediately logged into my app but I got a message saying the backyard camera had an error and couldn’t bring up the video/photo. I was trying to decide whether I should call the police, call a neighbor friend and have her husband come over or just assume it was an error when my husband called.
My husband said he had gotten the alert . Our system is set up so that it sends the photo to his email. When he looked at the email it showed what we are 99% positive is Mrs Kravitz in our back yard.
I say 99% positive because if anyone has seen a photo from these systems they aren’t the clearest.
I can’t tell you the absolute sick feeling that came over me when my husband said it was her.
We contemplated calling the police but decided that we will speak to the husband and her when my husband returns on Friday.
Oh my gosh! That is freaky and scary! I think I would've just called the police, straight up! Poor you!
Oh my gosh! That is freaky and scary! I think I would've just called the police, straight up! Poor you!
Ummm I am with you!
Original poster
Enough is enough. Call the police!
Seriously is there a reason you chose not to call the police?
Curious, what was she doing?
She came through a locked gate? (you had said prior you were now locking the gate)
You can still call the police. It's not too late. You have the photo. Just say after sleeping on it you decided it best for the police to handle the situation. Call their non emergency number. They will send someone out.
I agree! I feel like that is dangerous and erratic behavior.
Original Poster, how long have you "known" this neighbor? I mean how much do you really know about her/them?
I feel alarmed for you! Like I am getting a psychological thriller movie vibe from this now.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
