Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:36 PM
 
1,658 posts, read 1,270,522 times
Reputation: 3615

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblue100 View Post
He is 28 years old, but emotionally he is about 10. He lives with his parents, enjoys seeing movies and playing games rated for younger kids, and when he gets mad at anybody, he storms off into another room and shuts the door. I've seen him absolutely flip out when one of his other friends didn't want to go on a ride with him at a water park and tell him to go home. Our friend circle has said that he's basically like a child, but he's still a good guy most of the time. I don't think he has any disorder or anything, he's just very immature, but I turn the other cheek because I don't want to lose him as a friend. So perhaps with a person like him, I should be more understanding, but it's hard to say. His parents have even grounded him recently for an unrelated thing.
I wonder what disagreeable things he could say about you in turn, because right now, he's not the one acting like a 10 year old... that's you stomping your feet because you aren't getting your own way.

Grow up and actually BE a friend to him.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:36 PM
 
820 posts, read 985,424 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by SFBayBoomer View Post
There may be reasons that he does not want to drive you that he does not want to share with you. Are you certain that he has automobile insurance? He may not, or his car may not even be registered, due to missing a smog check or something. Maybe he has had an automobile accident in the past (or fears one) and does not want to be responsible for someone else.

Maybe, as others have mentioned, he simply does not want to stay out as late as you do.

In any case, I don't think you should be so put out that he has declined to be your chauffeur for the evening.
It does not mean he is selfish.
He has driven me in the past for non-drinking events, almost every time we go to the movies, bowling, etc, so it isn't about insurance or registration. Its just his shortness of temper about it that bothered me the most, without any explanation.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:41 PM
 
820 posts, read 985,424 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I'm sure it was surprising. He must have had something happen in the past to make him feel that way. I guess you can be thankful he was direct with you instead of agreeing to do it but acting quiet the whole night.
Yes, that is true. And thank you for seeing what I'm saying and not making me out to be the bad guy like many of these other posters.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:46 PM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
16,645 posts, read 10,843,780 times
Reputation: 36854
You might be surprised at how annoying people who are drinking can appear to non-drinkers. Since your friend doesn't drink, he's probably wanting to keep his options open so he can leave the bar early (and keep in mind, he may not enjoy going to bars at all, and has agreed to do so on this occasion only because it's your birthday) if he feels that the drinking has exceeded his comfort level. He might have felt differently if you had held your get-together in a restaurant, where the main purpose is eating, and drinking is a sideline thing; instead of at a bar where drinking is the primary purpose and eating is secondary. But regardless, he has given you his answer, and that's that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:48 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,496 posts, read 109,032,630 times
Reputation: 116608
IDK, OP. I don't think it's appropriate to try to pressure him, through another of the guests. No means no. The neighbor has his reasons. Hopefully, an Uber would be safe? Or you being the b-day girl, maybe another one of your friends would drive you home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:51 PM
 
820 posts, read 985,424 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by bus man View Post
You might be surprised at how annoying people who are drinking can appear to non-drinkers. Since your friend doesn't drink, he's probably wanting to keep his options open so he can leave the bar early (and keep in mind, he may not enjoy going to bars at all, and has agreed to do so on this occasion only because it's your birthday) if he feels that the drinking has exceeded his comfort level. He might have felt differently if you had held your get-together in a restaurant, where the main purpose is eating, and drinking is a sideline thing; instead of at a bar where drinking is the primary purpose and eating is secondary. But regardless, he has given you his answer, and that's that.
This place is both a restaurant and a bar. We were planning on sitting at the bar and having a few drinks and then eating dinner at a table. He has been to the establishment several times to eat with his family. But no, I'm not going to push it anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:54 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
18,813 posts, read 32,756,788 times
Reputation: 38583
It actually sounds reasonable to me. Obviously, your pal doesn't want to deal with the fallout of your night out.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 08:57 PM
 
36,202 posts, read 18,497,546 times
Reputation: 51327
Do you have Uber or Lyft?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 09:36 PM
 
820 posts, read 985,424 times
Reputation: 826
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Do you have Uber or Lyft?
I have it and am going to use it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-27-2019, 10:07 PM
 
16,470 posts, read 12,703,418 times
Reputation: 59870
Sorry, I'm with your friend. Don't assume that the non-drinker wants to be your chauffeur. If you've ever had someone puke in your car, you would understand.

I don't care how "responsible" my friends claim they're planning to be. I don't want drinkers in my car anymore.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top