Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I don't have to many friends. I had a group of friends but a few years after hs we drifted apart and now we don't talk anymore. I am mostly a loner. I don't want to be but I have a hard time making friends even though I'm a social person. So I'm a loner but not by choice. Plus I'm in a new city, though I have been here for a while I still havent met a lot of new friends though I am dating and meeting people that way.
I met some girls at work (who are my age) and some of them go out on certain nights to party and drink or to do whatever. I have become kind of close with one girl. I guess we can call her Chloe lol. Chloe is really awesome and I enjoy hanging out with her, but one thing I have noticed is that she's super weird about money.
One night we went to a club. We had never been to this club before and we didn't know it was $10 to get in. I had my debit card, but did not have $10 in cash because they werent taking cards. Chloe paid for me and said I could pay her back later. I said I was fine with that and said thank you.
Well the next day, she was already mentioning me paying her back over text. I said I would, no problem and that I would get cash and give it to her as soon as I could (i normally dont have cash just my debit card). On our very next shift I had the $10 and meant to give it to her, but things got busy at work and I honestly forgot. I got off work and went home. That night she texted me and said, "Are you still going to pay me back the ten?". I said yes and gave it to her the next day. This happened over only two days. I just thought it was really weird. From the way she talks she isn't broke so I don't get what the rush was.
She's also really into splitting stuff- which is fine, I don't mind splitting but she wants it down to the very last penny lol. She came to my place for movie night and picked up snacks. She asked me what I wanted. She brought me the receipt for my poptarts and lemonade and pointed out what i owed her. I was like, okay lol.
Is this behavior normal. I used to have a group of friends and we used to get each other snacks, or sometimes pay for each other but it wasnt a huge deal. We would buy each other things and not add it up or *make* each other pay each other back. It was more of a "hey, thanks, I'll get you next time!" type of thing. I've bought small stuff for friends and havent really put that much thought into it. i'm not a rich person but i don't think I would ever in a million years give someone a receipt for $3 worth of stuff i bought for them. maybe I'm just from a small town but that seemed tacky kind of.
When she invites me out she also wants $5 for gas. Well, okay. Its just $5 and I don't mind but I don't think I'd ever charge a friend for gas unless it was a crazy long trip out of state or something.
Is she a bit weird about money or do I just not hang out with enough people?
She might just have plans and goals for the future and has identified where all her money goes. She may have debts and is paying them off. She might have had "friends" who used her before and took but never gave back. Heck, family can do that.
She may just understand how hard she has to work for her money.
And no one knows what is going on in someone else's life unless they walk in their shoes. It is a good reminder to you to pay people back promptly.
But she also is a little over the top. If I invite someone to go somewhere, I would never ask for gas money.
I don't think she's all that weird. She helped you get into the club and you should have paid her back as soon as possible. People who are longtime friends let things go but you two are not in that category of full trust. Accept that she is her way and you are your way.
Have you paid something for her and not gotten paid back right away? if she is not 50/50 on either side of the money then you have a right to question her habits. Not everyone has the same money attitudes, she sounds careful not weird.
Why are you so weird about how she is with her money?
As for the $10 loan for the club: it could simply be that in times past, she did something like this and maybe got burned. Speaking for myself, I hate the idea that I owe someone money. I'd make a point to get that money back to them at the earliest possible time. And if you let something drag on for a while, it gets awkward. Maybe Chloe wants to stay your friend and didn't want that awkwardness of "hey, its been a week where's my $10?"
Maybe Chloe made a post on these forums about somebody that borrowed a $10, then Chloe saw that person the next day, still didn't get the $10 while that person used $1 at the snack machine to get a soda. What the hell!?
When it comes to friends, just accept them for who they are. And if Chloe recognizes herself that she's a bit weird about money, she'd probably also recognize that you are very understanding about her weirdness.
Why are you so weird about how she is with her money?
As for the $10 loan for the club: it could simply be that in times past, she did something like this and maybe got burned. Speaking for myself, I hate the idea that I owe someone money. I'd make a point to get that money back to them at the earliest possible time. And if you let something drag on for a while, it gets awkward. Maybe Chloe wants to stay your friend and didn't want that awkwardness of "hey, its been a week where's my $10?"
Maybe Chloe made a post on these forums about somebody that borrowed a $10, then Chloe saw that person the next day, still didn't get the $10 while that person used $1 at the snack machine to get a soda. What the hell!?
When it comes to friends, just accept them for who they are. And if Chloe recognizes herself that she's a bit weird about money, she'd probably also recognize that you are very understanding about her weirdness.
well it was just ten bucks I did plan on paying it back as soon as I had actual cash. I just wasn't really all that focused on it because it was only ten bucks and i figured I could hand it back to her within the next few days at some point. I had no problem paying her back, just had to wait until I get cash.
My main issue is that I dont carry around cash with me normally. So it's hard for me to pay her back for things, when we go out I have started having five to ten bucks ready for when she asks for gas.
I think from now on if she asks me if I want something, I'm just going to pass. And never borrow money from her lol. she just gets a little harassy about it.
I wasn't meaning to judge you, OP. I was just trying to have you put yourself in her shoes.
You can probably still be friends, but maybe just recognize she's touchy about money. And if she is kind enough to spot you a $10, maybe make a point to pay her back immediately.
well it was just ten bucks I did plan on paying it back as soon as I had actual cash. I just wasn't really all that focused on it because it was only ten bucks and i figured I could hand it back to her within the next few days at some point. I had no problem paying her back, just had to wait until I get cash.
My main issue is that I dont carry around cash with me normally. So it's hard for me to pay her back for things, when we go out I have started having five to ten bucks ready for when she asks for gas.
I think from now on if she asks me if I want something, I'm just going to pass. And never borrow money from her lol. she just gets a little harassy about it.
It doesn't matter if it was $1, $10, $100, or $1000. Dismissing it as "just" ten bucks is rude and disrespectful of someone who was kind enough to lend it to you. You should have made paying it back a priority. Even if it meant leaving the house a little earlier to find an ATM. Don't make excuses about how busy you got. Make time.
Here's a life tip ... Put a $20 bill in your wallet. And forget about it. Don't use it unless you absolutely have to, and if you do use it, replace it right away. You wouldn't have needed to borrow money from anyone.
I wasn't meaning to judge you, OP. I was just trying to have you put yourself in her shoes.
You can probably still be friends, but maybe just recognize she's touchy about money. And if she is kind enough to spot you a $10, maybe make a point to pay her back immediately.
I suspect that Chloe has had some bad experiences with people not paying money back to her in the past or has had friends take advantage of her generosity in the past and does not want that to happen again.
As another poster suggested, always keep $10 or $20 in emergency money in your purse and this won't happen as often. Just don't spend that money "just because it is there".
Good luck.
BTW, Unless she is driving a long distance out of her way to pick you up and drop you off it does seem odd for her to ask for $5 in gas money each time. However, she may be in a situation where money to very tight for her and every penny is budgeted for an expense. Or she has had friends, without cars, take advantage of her in the past.
Last edited by germaine2626; 05-02-2018 at 06:58 AM..
I don't think she's weird...I just think she wants you to understand that she's not going to let you mooch off of her every time you debit card isn't accepted somewhere. Your excuse of 'it's hard to pay her back for things' is just that, an excuse. ATMs are everyone...use one and carry cash.
I bolded 'things' because your OP made it sound like the ten bucks was a first time/one time thing...I get the impression you 'borrow' from her a lot more than your letting on. If you kept doing that to me, you'd be outside the club...no wait, you'd be home at home on your couch because I'd stop asking to join me.
The short answer is that she is cheap. They get really stressed about money. This is not an uncommon trait and it usually has to do with how someone was raised. As long as it doesn't annoy you and it goes both ways (meaning, she's not stiffing you and at the same time giving you receipts for $2.97), I would just tolerate it if she is otherwise a cool person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
