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The gas thing is cheap. That's really cheap. I've rarely met someone like that in my adult life. If you're in school, then maybe I can see it, but it's still unbelievably cheap.
In this world, you're either cheap or magnanimous. It's rarely going to be 50/50 with your good friends.
I've got this buddy who I go drinking with for the last 15 years or so. When we go, we bar hop and we switch paying the tabs somewhat, but I pick it up more often. Sometimes based on this inequity, I force him to pay, and he always does, but I'd say over the years, he owes me like ~$2000. Whatever. No biggie. I offer to pick it up. My choice.
Another friend that I had who I no longer hang out with actively went out of her way to avoid splitting the tab. She'd conveniently dissapear when the check came around, etc.
Another friend was a single mother and had some financial trouble and I let her borrow $700 to buy a car. She never paid me back. That one has disturbed me more. But I've had an easier life than her, so I look at like giving to charity.
So ... when I die, my total credits (what people owe me) will maybe be $10,000 or so? Big whoop. What would that have done for me?
Maybe somebody who is cheap will have an extra $10,000 when they die? Whoop de do.
OTOH, there is a principle thing. If I give somebody $5, and they don't pay me back after a week, I'll ask them. I just thing it's rude to borrow things from people and never return. But 2 days is well within the normal timeframe.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I don't think that you can just assume that the friend is cheap. It could be that she has a very, very tight budget. Maybe you have always had loads of extra money but many people do not. I remember a time in graduate school when Hubby and I literally had zero money left until I received my next paycheck 10 days later. Zero money for food or gas or anything. We certainly could not just loan out $10 to someone, at that time,and forget about it. We weren't cheap just broke.
And, this happened several other times in our lives, too, due to unemployment, illness, and/or disability.
I've had friends who have zero money for periods of time, but then again, they don't go out clubbing where the cover is $10 at the door.
This is her friend's quirk, or one of them. She's really weird about money.
Someone else mentioned Venmo. This is a great way to avoid this situation in the future, OP. You could have paid her back before you even walked into the club.
I've had friends who have zero money for periods of time, but then again, they don't go out clubbing where the cover is $10 at the door.
This is her friend's quirk, or one of them. She's really weird about money.
Like really.
If you're that poor, then you don't have the opportunity to post at 10AM on an online forum. Being poor as a student is a totally different thing. Or if you really ARE that poor and are a working adult, let me know, and prove it to me, and I will send you $50 today.
When you buy things for Chloe, does she pay you back? Do you ask her to pay you back?
Do you ever drive and charge $5.00?
I understand wanting the $10.00 back. I would have returned it ASAP.
The rest of it seems kind of odd. I guess there could be some underlying circumstances as to why Chloe is like this.
If you want to be friends, then you already know that you have to keep cash on hand. If she isn't paying you back when you buy things, then you need to ask her to pay you back. If not, then how does she know that you want the money back?
Maybe you are somewhat resentful/confused/hurt because this is not the way you do things. That's ok, but you'll have to let that go if you want to be friends with Chloe. I'd find more friends...
Someone else mentioned Venmo. This is a great way to avoid this situation in the future, OP. You could have paid her back before you even walked into the club.
i don't have that. if she would have asked i would have gotten it and paid her back. i guess it's an app?
and to the person who asked, no I don't have a car. I don't know how to drive.
When you buy things for Chloe, does she pay you back? Do you ask her to pay you back?
Do you ever drive and charge $5.00?
I understand wanting the $10.00 back. I would have returned it ASAP.
The rest of it seems kind of odd. I guess there could be some underlying circumstances as to why Chloe is like this.
If you want to be friends, then you already know that you have to keep cash on hand. If she isn't paying you back when you buy things, then you need to ask her to pay you back. If not, then how does she know that you want the money back?
Maybe you are somewhat resentful/confused/hurt because this is not the way you do things. That's ok, but you'll have to let that go if you want to be friends with Chloe. I'd find more friends...
I don't know. I just didn't know if I was being weird or if she was. I thought her behavior was weird. But then again i don't really have any friends except for here on city data. This is where I talk to people and hang out. I have guys I date then I hang out with Chloe. Shes my first friend in a long time. I don't know, maybe I'm just not used to people lol. I just thought it was weird.
I mean if i offer to buy i don't expect to get paid back. It was just a soda and a snack here or there. I dont mind grabbing someone something. I don't have/make much money but I can afford $5 here r there fora friend when I have it.
If shes charging me should I charge her? I'd rather not but maybe she wants me too?
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 2 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upsadaisy
i don't have that. if she would have asked i would have gotten it and paid her back. i guess it's an app?
and to the person who asked, no I don't have a car. I don't know how to drive.
Then that's why she charges you - although I do have a dear friend who really hates to drive although she has her license. So I always drive us when we go places.
She does other things, like sometimes picking up lunch. Because I always drive.
i don't have that. if she would have asked i would have gotten it and paid her back. i guess it's an app?
and to the person who asked, no I don't have a car. I don't know how to drive.
Yes, it's an app. It's tied to your bank account and you simply type in her Venmo ID, phone number or email, and it instantly transfers the money to her. (PayPal works similarly ... some people use that instead)
And you not having a car is likely the reason she charges you for gas ... to ensure that you don't get in the habit of taking advantage of her. Chloe sounds like someone who has gotten burned by people in the past and but still wants to be able to help her friends while still protecting herself in the process.
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