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The large percentage of people that work out in gyms, are professional types that talk with others all day as part of their job. They actually get tired of talking to people.
Gym becomes their refuge, where they get away with talking to people. A place they can exercise and zone out everyone else. This is their refuge/come down place, where they get away from reacting with and talking to people.
OP you are a talker and you are at the gym to make friends, and visit with them. Others at the gym at the same time, are there to get away from people, so they can relax. Other people are trying to get away from people like you, so they can unwind from the normal life they lead the rest of the day.
So much for reading comprehension. I have already said, I am not there to socialize and that I understand many people are tuned in to their workout. I was merely making the point that, when I see the same people, month after month, It is strange to me that so many do not even say hello in passing. Why so many interpret this that I go to the gym to socialize, talk, make friends is beyond me. A simple, head nod, or “ “hey, good morning” does not equate, in my mind to socializing. That said, the responses have been enlightening.
I get that people want to get through their routines an get out but, it seems strange to me that so many people seem to intentionally avoid any social interaction at all. Just curious what that is about.
It might be because most people (unlike you) try to turn a "friendly interaction" into something more.
Maybe these people would rather avoid that altogether, just do their thing...and get out!
You might consider doing an experiment. Check out a variety of gyms in town, over time. Some will give you a few free passes, so you can go a few times at no cost, and scope out the crowd at a given time of day. Others are cheap enough, that you could buy a membership for a month or two. See what you find.
The only gyms I've ever visited where people didn't at least acknowledge each other, or at least ask a question or two, if not have a chat passing in the hall, were the expensive ones. There's one gym in my town, where some of the people on the cardio machines chat with each other while striding along on the machine. It's a very cool atmosphere. I love friendly gyms!
So much for reading comprehension. I have already said, I am not there to socialize and that I understand many people are tuned in to their workout. I was merely making the point that, when I see the same people, month after month, It is strange to me that so many do not even say hello in passing. Why so many interpret this that I go to the gym to socialize, talk, make friends is beyond me. A simple, head nod, or “ “hey, good morning” does not equate, in my mind to socializing. That said, the responses have been enlightening.
Some people don't even want that. They don't want any interaction at all. Lol...i think they are worried, once they start saying hello, one thing will lead to another...
Humans suck and the vast majority have nefarious purposes if they are talking to you at all.
I think it is odd that people want to try to initiate conversation with complete strangers. To me that seems suspicious. You go to the gym to work out not to socialize.
This may be a bit harshly stated and has drawn some heat, but I tend to agree with the underlying premise. I find that people who start talking to me in public places are often looking for an audience, not a conversation (which implies both of us talking/listening equally). Or it's ultimately leading to some sort of sales pitch. If it's someplace I will be routinely frequenting, like a gym, I don't want to be latched onto every time I go there.
At least to me... eye contact and hello in passing is socializing. What if you want to say more than hello? This is how I tell the world I don't want to talk...
- ear buds,
- eyes on the floor..
- failure to say hello...
I really wish that people would respect these signs and not ignore them because they want to talk.
^^^This!!!
I'm not anti-social, but if I'm going someplace regularly for a specific purpose that isn't to socialize (like going to the gym to work out), then being polite or friendly to someone for a few moments can backfire. I've been polite in response to people who said hello or wanted to make small talk before, and they then needed increasing amounts of time and attention whenever they saw me in the future. There's no way to tell who will be satisfied with a friendly hello everyday and who will start acting like a needy friend. It's safer to just not be friendly to anyone. Since I'm not going to the gym to socialize I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, and I'm not being rude since no one is entitled to my time and attention just because they're in the same place as me.
About the only gyms where this kind of social activity seems to reliably take place are the CrossFit places. They tend to cultivate almost a cult mentality where they all socialize together, probably as a way to keep people keep coming and paying their exorbitant fees. As the joke goes:
"How do you know if someone does CrossFit?"
"Wait sixty seconds. They'll tell you."
Another place where you hear guys say is a prime place to meet women? Grocery stores. My wife says that if she's been approached once in a grocery store by some lame nitwit pretending to ask a question about asparagus spears or what wine to serve with the fish, she'd been approached a zillion times. You guys just aren't that smooth.
It could be that people at the gym feel slightly self-conscious. They might feel, depending on the type of gym, that they don't 'measure up' to the other gym members, so they're trying to kind of "fly under the radar" and just do their thing without being noticed, and thus judged.
There's no way to tell who will be satisfied with a friendly hello everyday and who will start acting like a needy friend. It's safer to just not be friendly to anyone. Since I'm not going to the gym to socialize I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, and I'm not being rude since no one is entitled to my time and attention just because they're in the same place as me.
And if you are a woman just making eye contact can put you in a "me too" situation. I am by no means good looking but a few years back with my ear phones in.. I had this guy start talking to me on the treadmill. I had to take the buds out. He randomly started asking me if there were good restaurants in the area. I politely told him a few and put the buds back in...
But that wasn't enough. He just kept talking. I motioned like I couldn't hear him and he touched my arm. He TOUCHED my arm. I stopped the treadmill and gave him the look and left. He acted like there was something wrong with me. Like he had some right to maintain the conversation and I had some obligation to talk to him because he chose to talk to me.
I find people like this seem to believe that if they talk to me I have some obligation to talk to them back. I do not.
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