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I dislike hugging so much that I cringe even when I see people hugging on tv! Like, did they really have to do that, a handshake would be just fine. Specially tv hosts and game shows. Just stop already.
This is a true story. When I was in kindergarten my teacher was an oddball and very regimented. On the last day of school she had all the children line up and she said goodbye to each child. She alternated between hugging and not hugging each child. I calculated that I would be a non-huggee child. I wanted a hug. When it was my turn, I was not going to get a hug but I tried to force it. There was a bit of a wrestle. I lost since I was only 5.
That was rejection and I felt rejected. I learned that people don't want me to hug them.
I think that is part of the reason why I am a non-hugger. I used to be very affectionate and demonstrative until age 5.
Seriously? Someone doesn't want to be touched and they're just supposed to shut up and take it? I think everyone gets to decide who gets to touch them and when.
Believe it or not, I have started at least one thread on this subject. I would prefer to not be hugged by total strangers. It also makes me cringe to see on TV, for example, a couple meeting for the first time and hugging.
When I said I would accept a hug without throwing a fit, or making the other person feel uncomfortable, I meant it. Two wrongs don't make a right.
My youngest son is about 11 years younger than his next sibling. I noticed that when he was in jr high and high school, he and his friends who were girls, hugged a lot. It was in a warm platonic way. That is nothing like the way I was with my friends, nor were his older siblings. It was nice that he and his friends were all comfortable being this way. My point is that there is a middle ground between overfamiliarity and warm interaction. Like somebody else said, a bit more love and caring in the world is a good thing.
Believe it or not, I have started at least one thread on this subject. I would prefer to not be hugged by total strangers. It also makes me cringe to see on TV, for example, a couple meeting for the first time and hugging.
When I said I would accept a hug without throwing a fit, or making the other person feel uncomfortable, I meant it. Two wrongs don't make a right.
My youngest son is about 11 years younger than his next sibling. I noticed that when he was in jr high and high school, he and his friends who were girls, hugged a lot. It was in a warm platonic way. That is nothing like the way I was with my friends, nor were his older siblings. It was nice that he and his friends were all comfortable being this way. My point is that there is a middle ground between overfamiliarity and warm interaction. Like somebody else said, a bit more love and caring in the world is a good thing.
Not wanting to be touched is not wrong.
The OP wrote: (Sorry, I'm bad at quoting.)
"One was a manager and the other two were just coworkers. Out of those 3 who hugged me, I didn't mind one of them because he's like a father figure to me (a coworker) and treats me like I'm his daughter. But the other two who hugged me, I just felt uncomfortable when they did it. This is all after a professional discussion of some kind."
This made her feel uncomfortable, and I'd bet, unprofessional. Hugging is inappropriate at work.
Do you have some sort of internal, anonymous grievance or suggestion procedure? If so, you might want to make a "suggestion" that management have a review course on what constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace, including, but not limited to, contact such as hugging. This way you don't have to confront the "hugger" directly and thus gain an undeserved reputation, but the message is made. If no such grievance procedure exists, well, perhaps look for some other indirect way to put your point across.
I used t work for the state, back when back rubs and neck massages were the rage. I personally found it annoying, to have a co-worker just come up behind me and start massaging my neck. Telling them not to would just offend, although I wasn't doing anything but sitting there minding my own business. I made such a "suggestion" in an anonymous fashion to HR, and the issue was addressed along with other issues during the following monthly meeting. The practice stopped, and I wasn't in the position of either antagonizing my co-workers or putting up with something I found annoying.
This is a true story. When I was in kindergarten my teacher was an oddball and very regimented. On the last day of school she had all the children line up and she said goodbye to each child. She alternated between hugging and not hugging each child. I calculated that I would be a non-huggee child. I wanted a hug. When it was my turn, I was not going to get a hug but I tried to force it. There was a bit of a wrestle. I lost since I was only 5.
That was rejection and I felt rejected. I learned that people don't want me to hug them.
I think that is part of the reason why I am a non-hugger. I used to be very affectionate and demonstrative until age 5.
Many people would prefer NOT to have a 5-year old kid wrapped around them Besides, in this day and age, one could be accused of sexual assault by a kid hugging them. Mrs Smith touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable It doesn't take much to start such accusations, and once started, the blame-laying never ends. Reputations have been destroyed and lives ruined by such. Kid, stay away from me!
Besides, in this day and age, one could be accused of sexual assault by a kid hugging them. Mrs Smith touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable It doesn't take much to start such accusations, and once started, the blame-laying never ends. Reputations have been destroyed and lives ruined by such. Kid, stay away from me!
Unfortunately, that is very true......I don't want to take this thread off-topic, so I'll just say this - when my daughter was (falsely) accused of being "inappropriate" with my sister's older daughter, one of the results that nobody felt comfortable being around the said niece, because they didn't want to end up being accused of something they hadn't done. (one of my aunts flat-out told her kids to make sure they were never alone with her)
Am also one who isn't a fan of hugging friends and/or strangers. Besides it not being comfortable, when people who wear fragrances hug me the scent of their perfume sticks to my clothing and even my skin and being very sensitive to fragrances I end up with a terrible headache.
I've had to go home and change clothes and sometimes actually wash my hair to get rid of the stench of their perfume.
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I think everyone gets to decide who gets to touch them and when.
Besides, in this day and age, one could be accused of sexual assault by a kid hugging them. Mrs Smith touched me in a way that made me uncomfortable
It doesn't take much to start such accusations, and once started, the blame-laying never ends. Reputations have been destroyed and lives ruined by such. Kid, stay away from me!
