Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
When they start to go in for the hug.....Back up, hands raised and say....I'm not a hugger....and reach out your hand for a handshake.
If you haven't got the guts to simply tell people....Then simply gracefully accept it and shrug it off.
But, in this day of political correctness and work place boundaries a hug seems abnormal in a work place. Perhaps your co-workers were simply following suite with the one you didn't mind the hug from... and thought it was expected.
That said.....which one did hug you first? If it was the father figure co-worker, he sat the tone, as did you by being ok with it. Since you are most comfortable with him, simply tell him you don't like hugs. And it likely will never happen again.
Call me a dinosaur, but I think hugging is very inappropriate in the work place.
I call you a smart realist. It is 2017, not 1985. As a guy and with the current harrassment laws in place, I never would initiate a hug with a female co-worker. I did hug one female co-worker several years ago that was retiring and moving out of the area with her husband to retire, but she initiated it. Would never do so with an employee that is not leaving.
The three guys at the OP's workplace might hug the "wrong" person some day. As to the OP herself, it is probably a good idea to just put her hand out for a handshake instead.
Last edited by chessgeek; 01-04-2017 at 08:14 PM..
When they start to go in for the hug.....Back up, hands raised and say....I'm not a hugger....and reach out your hand for a handshake.
If you haven't got the guts to simply tell people....Then simply gracefully accept it and shrug it off.
But, in this day of political correctness and work place boundaries a hug seems abnormal in a work place. Perhaps your co-workers were simply following suite with the one you didn't mind the hug from... and thought it was expected.
That said.....which one did hug you first? If it was the father figure co-worker, he sat the tone, as did you by being ok with it. Since you are most comfortable with him, simply tell him you don't like hugs. And it likely will never happen again.
These men don't know one another beyond perhaps by appearance. I work for the government at a large VA hospital lol. So much for being politically correct haha. Think I'll just deal with it.. I'm not one to make a mountain out of a molehill. Say they grabbed my butt or something during the hug, that's when I'll do something. Will just talk about hating hugs casually so it can get around for now.
OP, it's totally inappropriate for them to be doing this, and they surely wouldn't hug each other, so for some reason they are treating you as a fragile little flower. You should set them straight on that.
You don't have to tell them it's inappropriate, but the advice of backing away, saying "Oh, I'm not much into hugs," and holding out your hand for a firm handshake is good.
Just tell them... people prefer the truth. Once they see that it's not personal, it should be fine.
Personally I feel a little sad for you. Connecting with people is one of life's greatest pleasures. Physical hugging is a nice, generally harmless way to connect. Life is short, pretty soon we'll be dead and forgotten, no one will remember you were even in the universe. Enjoy life while you can and enjoy the connections you make with people...is my philosophy.
When you're 80 or 90 years old, you'll look back on life at the people who were in your life, and wonder why you didn't better take advantage of the time you had with them. I look back on my life now and realize I too hated hugging for a long time... and kept people at a distance when I could have let them in a little more.
Sorry - I will NEVER miss not getting a hug from a coworker...nope, won't feel bad at all on my deathbed! You can get "connected" all you want but I prefer cerebral connections with those I'm unrelated to or not romantic with!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
