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I have already warned my sons, any squabbling after I am gone and I will haunt you. I reminded them it is just stuff, don't put that much importance on stuff.
I think your cousin has some nerve asking for the ring. It's ultimately up to your mother.
My mother gave me my grandmother's ring...she offered it to me OR my sister, but my sister announced that it was too small for her & she needed a larger diamond
I have no idea how this can be settled properly. You should rightfully get the ring if your mother chooses to give it to you, since it is in her posession. Your cousin will get over it eventually, and if not, that's just the way it goes.
This thread is a wake up call for all of you reading this. This will truly help keep the peace in families.
PLEASE,
1) make a will, number ONE
2) This is what we did with the contents of my mother's house, long before she passed away:
Make a list of who gets what from the contents of your home. Choose a sibling or adult child who will be the most fair and go through your house with them. Make a list of ALL valuables, collectables and heirlooms. From there, decide who gets what. Go through the list with everyone. If anyone contests something, settle it NOW, and not have them squabbling after you're gone. If you have to, flip a coin. Then have EVERYONE sign it. Print it off and give a copy to each recipient. Keep the master copy in a safe place.
This ring isn't causing drama in my family per se... no one will stop talking or fight as a result of whomever ends up getting it. Of course, someone will end up being disappointed, but we're a close family and a ring isn't going to ruin that. But there is so much truth in what you posted. My parents already made their will and everything is 50/50 between my brother and I. The only thing that has specific directors are for my mother's company, which my brother helps to run. Otherwise, it will be up to my brother and I to figure out the rest, which is fine... I don't think we've ever gotten into a fight in our entire lives lol Unfortunately, when my grandmother lived with my aunt prior to them both getting pretty sick, she listened to my aunt and sold everything (things that were specifically supposed to go to my mom, or the grandchildren) and she never had the will revised. So, while this ring won't tear my family apart, I agree that it's so important to do what you posted to prevent things like this from happening.
I'll get the ring eventually anyway lol so, for now I'll be patient and let my boyfriend buy the ring (as he has always planned to do...)
Still think gold setting goes to cousin, diamond goes to you, your boyfriend picks and buys the gold setting for your ring using that diamond when the time is right. Everybody wins.
I'm hearing conflicting things from the OP: that the mother wants to give it to her, and also that the mother wants to keep it.
There's only one ring and more than one descendant of the original owner, so it's not going to be possible to please everyone. Under these circumstances I wouldn't think having the ring would be worth the headache and bad feeling that it might cause.
I'm hearing conflicting things from the OP: that the mother wants to give it to her, and also that the mother wants to keep it.
There's only one ring and more than one descendant of the original owner, so it's not going to be possible to please everyone. Under these circumstances I wouldn't think having the ring would be worth the headache and bad feeling that it might cause.
My mom is torn. She wants to keep it, but she also would rather it go to someone who will use it. My mom doesn't wear any jewelry (besides her own wedding ring) so she'll never get use out of it.
I have my own reasons for believing I should have the ring (I was the one that cared for her, visited her daily, took care of the assisted living accommodations, etc.) but as far as this post... it was more of a, "if it's not explicitly stated in the will... who traditionally would get the ring."
Neither you nor your cousin should get the ring. Get your own rings, and let your mother keep the ring for herself until SHE decides who she will give it to. It's her ring in the first place since she cared for her mother while she was sick and the aunt did not.
My cousin's biggest thing is that she got engaged first, so that is why she should have it.
If she had gotten engaged to a decent guy, HE would have gotten her a ring in the first place.
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