Who gets the grandmother's ring? (children, influenced, brother, sister)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The ring was given to your mother. It belongs to her now and she can do whatever she wants to do with it. If she wants you to have it that is her choice. If she were to give you just the stone and you had it put into another ring how would your cousin ever know? Your mom doesn't wear it, so no one would be the wiser unless someone tells them. You could even have a cubic zirconia stone put into the original ring and no one would be the wiser. This doesn't sound that difficult, but I have no horse in this race, so it's easy for me.
The ring was given to your mother. It belongs to her now and she can do whatever she wants to do with it. If she wants you to have it that is her choice. If she were to give you just the stone and you had it put into another ring how would your cousin ever know? Your mom doesn't wear it, so no one would be the wiser unless someone tells them. You could even have a cubic zirconia stone put into the original ring and no one would be the wiser. This doesn't sound that difficult, but I have no horse in this race, so it's easy for me.
It's for that reason exactly that I posted on here. Sometimes it's nice to get an opinion from someone who has absolutely no investment in the situation or the people involved. I know I tend to get caught up in the small things, but I could easily put a CZ in and no one would know.
You and your cousin should get your own rings and forget about the grandmother's ring.
Just because "it exists" and you two are getting married does not mean you are entitled to it in any way. Yes, it would be nice to have it, but nasty things have already been said and it is obvious that it is already causing problems. Just let your mom have it and get your own rings.
Mom owns the ring. If she is agreeable, and your cousin wants it, she can pay each of the 3 remaining cousins a 1/4 of the value of the ring and it's hers.
It maybe very traditional, but I find it very strange that one would "provide" their own engagement ring with no input from the fiance. My D has a beautiful diamond solitaire ring that my father-in-law's second wife gave to her for a graduation gift. My father-in-law gave it to his second wife before he died. She wears it on her right hand-ring finger. Her long term boyfriend doesn't see this as even a remote possibility for an engagement ring. That's not to say that both my D and her BF can't pay for a new ring.
I cannot believe the cousin had the nerve to ask for it. Oh, never mind. Thinking back with my own family and in-law issues, yes I can. Greed does that to people. Feeling entitled does, too.
I have a feeling that both you and your cousin are going to be split forever over this thing. And you know, that is a shame. Sure your grandmother prob. wouldn't have wanted it that way. She prob. would have taken the thing and flushed it down the toilet rather than have it cause family problems.
How close was this cousin to her grandmother? Maybe it is better if you both got your own rings and let your mom keep the ring. When my mother in law died we gave the wedding ring part to my niece and my daughter got the engagement part of the ring. Both of them were thrilled and no hard feelings.
your cousin is SOL as they say. if her mom, your aunt was alive and the situation reversed she could have the ring but it isn't. the ring is your mom's to do with what she wants. have mom tell her that mom is going to keep the rings herself. then you can do what you want with the ring. cousin really can't do much about it if your mom wants to keep the ring for herself. she should then have to drop the subject.
I can only speak for myself - Getting engaged is a deal between you and your "intended". The ring is a binder of that contract. The ring given to you by your "intended" should be bought and paid for by that "intended". Otherwise, the contract is between you and your late grandmother. ???
I find it sad that your mother doesn't want the ring but wasn't willing to part with it when your cousin asked for it but now is willing to let you have it. Damn right it's going to cause bad feelings in the family.
As for removing the stone and replacing it with CZ, what a shabby trick. Insurance companies usually insist on an appraisal to have jewelry included on the policy. "What do you mean it isn't a real diamond?!"
I think the fairest solution would be to have the ring appraised, and if one of the granddaughter's wants to buy it, they can reimburse the other cousins for their shares.
Of course, life isn't fair, and it's completely up to the OP's mother. And the oldest cousin already got the "good dishes". Hopefully we're talking about fine china here, because used dishes do not retain much value, no matter how highly the owner thought of them.
Or, the OP's mother can hang onto it, make it part of her own estate, and the OP will end up with it anyway.
I worked in the jewelry industry for many years, and it's entirely possible that the ring has more sentimental, than real, value.
Leave it until your brother or a male cousin wants to propose to someone with it. If none ever do, it'll just pass to you and/or your siblings one day, and will your cousin still be asking for part of what probably isn't a very expensive piece of jewelry anyway?
I mean, was your grandmom loaded and that bad boy is a 12-carat Cartier or something?
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
