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Going out clubbing is a little different than attending a meeting or learning ballroom dancing - clubbing almost always involves drinking and flirting with men - at least that's the way it was when I did it.
Once you have a child priorities should change - you need to spend your non-working hours with your child and maybe a night of clubbing on the weekend every couple of weeks. Come on - we all know this is wrong. You are not the important one anymore - your child is - grow up.
Going out clubbing is a little different than attending a meeting or learning ballroom dancing - clubbing almost always involves drinking and flirting with men - at least that's the way it was when I did it.
Once you have a child priorities should change - you need to spend your non-working hours with your child and maybe a night of clubbing on the weekend every couple of weeks. Come on - we all know this is wrong. You are not the important one anymore - your child is - grow up.
Disagree.
Clubbing can just be dancing. I have friends that love to dance and never drink at all that are avid clubbers, concert goers, you name it. Some have kids, some do not.
You are ALWAYS the important one. Take care of yourself first. Then you can take care of others. This nonsense that everything has to be sacrificed for children is really the seed of all this judgement. Be a good person, a happy person, a healthy person, a reliable person, a kind person FIRST. Then think about the kids in your life. Not every good parent is a martyr or lets their kids rule their lives and decisions.
Clubbing can just be dancing. I have friends that love to dance and never drink at all that are avid clubbers, concert goers, you name it. Some have kids, some do not.
You are ALWAYS the important one. Take care of yourself first. Then you can take care of others. This nonsense that everything has to be sacrificed for children is really the seed of all this judgement. Be a good person, a happy person, a healthy person, a reliable person, a kind person FIRST. Then think about the kids in your life. Not every good parent is a martyr or lets their kids rule their lives and decisions.
And not every good parent gives a rats AZZ about what others think of their parenting....
IMO, life doesn't end because you have children. It may change, but it doesn't end. If a parent decides to spend a little alone time by clubbing, so long as the child is safe, and they are being safe... then I see no issue. (Making sure they were being safe is important, as they do have a responsibility to get home, be healthy, and functioning the next day for their child.)
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Something to chew on.
When I was a kid, my mom who was divorced and single went to night school from 6-9pm three nights a week for two years to get more training for her post-military career. Those hours I was awake and those days I spent maybe a total of two hours interacting with her.
A typical club night in DC starts around 10pm and usually ends at 1-2am. Your kid should be asleep during those hours away. Very likely if you saw your kid off to school and came home straight from work, you'll have spent around 5 hours with that kid that day. Let's say you do that 2x a week on Fri and Sat.
Why is everyone going ape over the second example because it is fulfilling a need of adult recreation and more time is being spent with the kid than the first example which is also fulfilling a need but at the expense of time with a kid?
I don't think there's anything wrong with clubbing/going to bars/parties when you have kids.
Those that think it is terrible, may:
-Never have liked clubbing to begin with
-Perhaps were those that went way over the top - with the opposite gender being the purpose of their outing
-Don't have the energy to go out anymore
I have enjoyed girls weekends in Vegas, New York, AZ
I also enjoy Vegas trips alone with my husband, weekends away with him and frequent nights out (even if it's just a walk to a restaurant for a glass of wine)
Just so no one thinks we're irresponsible and trashy (lol) I have a master's degree and my husband has a Phd. I often have worked from home full-time and juggled caring for my 4 kids myself, so I really look forward to socializing (I have dedicated a whole lot of time to my kids and they continue to be my primary focus. For example, tomorrow we have basketball & track ALL day long, capped with an evening of a scouting event - where's my SATURDAY???) Yet, I still hope to find time to go out with my husband (if we can make it home by 8pm).
I love going out and it really doesn't matter if outsiders think my behavior is not mom-like. I got married at 28, so it's not a case of trying to recapture my youth.
Not sure I'd post pics of me partying online (as my kids are on my FB friend list) - and I just don't need to boast about it.
You can go clubbing till you're 90 years old with great grandkids.
I don't care really.
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over the second example because it is fulfilling a need of adult recreation and more time is being spent with the kid than the first example which is also fulfilling a need but at the expense of time with a kid?
