Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess on the surface you do not see my annoyance, so I will have to explain further. This friend, while very nice to me at points, is a bit bipolar and unsensitive. At other times he will make me feel really bad about myself, and will always try to tell me what to do and how to live my life.
I hope you now see why I am annoyed it is THIS friend calling me out and not other ones, which I wouldn't mind as much.
I do understand your annoyance (actually, what I would've felt in your place would've been closer to embarrassment--I know because I've been there in a situation where someone tells me something I'm doing that makes me feel embarrassed and my first instinct is to be annoyed at that person... when the truth is part of me realizes they have a point, and I'm embarrassed that they're right.)
I would focus less on the "should people call each other out for manners" aspect of it and more on correcting the eating habit for yourself. I think it's possible to get too hung up on a small thing. If your friend's behavior annoys others (not just you), that will have its own effect over time. If you do not correct the eating habit, it will have its own effect as well. I would be more concerned with not wanting people to be turned off and avoid me as a result of something I didn't realize I was doing in the first place.
I guess on the surface you do not see my annoyance, so I will have to explain further. This friend, while very nice to me at points, is a bit bipolar and unsensitive. At other times he will make me feel really bad about myself, and will always try to tell me what to do and how to live my life.
I hope you now see why I am annoyed it is THIS friend calling me out and not other ones, which I wouldn't mind as much.
You didn't explain that in the beginning of the post, though, did you? The real question you have here is whether or not this friend is worth being around. All of what would made it a continuation of the first thread. Did you not get enough feedback the first time?
To single out this one act, while stating that this is a good friend, you seem surprised to find we did not track down your entire posting history and continue on version 2 of the same old thread.
I stand by my word - nauseating. It turns my stomach when I see someone's food being chewed. Maybe your version of what is gross is much hardier than the average person's. It's like what has already been said numerous times here - most girls would think twice before going out with you again, after witnessing that. Friend's faults or not - he did you a favor.
Okay y'all, I agree chewing with your mouth open is bad manners, but come on, is everyone perfect?
I am fairly sure there has been a time or two in everyones lives, where we have accidentally been chewing with our slightly open, and I really don't think you would like it if I called that nauseating.
It's bad manners to point out someone's bad manners.
Yep, that's the short answer. I can only think of one gesture to signal "chew with your mouth closed," and it's the one I make to my children. How appalling for an adult to do that to another adult.
He most likely wasn't watching the person next to him. You, on the other hand, were right across from him. It's nauseating to me to see that. He also may have felt he knew you well enough to let you know - and didn't also want you to be embarrassed by it. You said he made a gesture, not loudly called anyone's attention to it.
I don't see it as trying to parent you at all. Better him than some girl never going out with you again and you wondering why.
Okay y'all, I agree chewing with your mouth open is bad manners, but come on, is everyone perfect?
I am fairly sure there has been a time or two in everyones lives, where we have accidentally been chewing with our slightly open, and I really don't think you would like it if I called that nauseating.
I am not sure how people don't realize that they are chewing with their mouth open unless they are wearing some kind of dental device that inhibits sensation in their mouth. How on earth would you not notice this?
OP, I read your other thread. There comes a time in life when you start creating healthy boundaries for yourself instead of hanging out with people who make you feel badly or who waste your time. So hopefully that day will come soon.
In the meantime, complaining about someone's poor treatment of you (when you have the power to change the relationship) will be entertained by different people to different degrees, but eventually everyone will get tired of hearing about it. They will stop calling or begin to treat you poorly themselves. You will be puzzled as to why this is happening. So you get more hurt and continue along the path of the clueless, and others get more annoyed and either exit your life or keep up the abuse.
See the pattern here? Time to start making some positive changes. And chewing with your mouth closed. All the time.
when we decide we want diversity with it comes some common ground rules.
otherwise people will continue to go to starbucks to "meet people" and get ignored while most bury themselves in the laptop and iphone. people from the hood are short on manners but not necessarily short on talent and smarts.
manners are easy to fix. let us all move forward. let us stop accusing others of being sterotyping and judgemental and start cleaning up our act.
Speaking for myself, I've never understood the whole elbow thing. It doesn't seem like a big deal to me even though I don't do it and have never noticed if other people do it or not. Yes, chewing food with your mouth open is gross, but people have a choice not to stare at people while they're eating. Otherwise even with their mouths closed you'll see them biting into things and sipping on things. That's why I'm just not into talking while I'm eating.
Hello all! I am a bit confused if what someone did at lunch today was the correct thing to do, so, I am looking for other opinions. I was at lunch today, and someone who I was sitting with made a gesture to me to chew with my mouth closed. I admit that my manners are not perfect, but I always chew with my mouth closed, and must have just slipped up today, like everyone does from time to time. I was a little annoyed, though, and thought it was a little rude. I am also pretty confident I wasn't chomping down on my food either.
I guess what bothered me even more was that the person sitting right next to him was chewing with his mouth open as well, and I see bad manners when I go to lunch with my peers all the time (elbows on the table, eating with hands), and that never gets called out, but I get called out. This person has called me out before, and while he is a very good friend of mine, it does get a little annoying because no one is perfect, and no one should try to act like they are. I guess it just bothers me that someone else is trying to parent me, especially considering that while I occasionally will do something bad-mannered, 99% of the time I am still chewing with my mouth closed.
Has anyone ever done this to you? Do you think this is appropriate?
Manners are meant to make people feel comfortable. Therefore calling out someone on a faux pas is inherently bad manners.
Now the exception to this is one in which you discreetly get someone's attention in order to prevent them from being further embarassed. For example, if they have something inbetween their teeth, and you are alone, feel free to ignore it but if they are talking with others, or are about to, mention it.
Perhaps your friend wanted to mention it so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your other table mate?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
