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I have been a little anti-social lately, and I'm realizing that the biggest reason for this is people and their selfishness, especially in conversations. I feel like everyone I know talks & talks & talks, but they can't listen to me when I talk, or let me get a word in.
Sunday we went to a Superbowl party, and I felt like everyone I spoke to, just went on & on about their lives, but never bothered to ask me about mine. Or, if I tried to get a word in...god forbid...They would just look at me & then start talking about themselves again. The same thing happened at work today. It's like I can't actually contribute to the conversation unless I'm talking to the person about them, or asking about their lives.
Do you experience this? When you speak to people, do you bother to ask how specific things are going in their lives? Is it so hard to let the other person talk here & there?
It works better if you remember this. Everyone is the STAR of their own movie. YOU are a bit player in THEIR movie.
Forget about them and make your own movie so interesting that other people want to talk to you about it.
Again, you are a bit player to everyone else. Live for yourself....be a good person and you'll be happier in life. Talking to people at the Superbowl party? Just grab some wings and your beverage of choice and yell at the screen like every other dumb *******.
Sounds like me at the very beginning of my depression that turned into a downward spiral...
I totally agree with you. People can be so freakin' annoying and nosey. People are very bad at conversing. If you haven't already, I encourage you to share your experience(s) in my https://www.city-data.com/forum/non-r...iendships.html thread.
I had friends of the sort the OP described. Then I realized that my friends were a bunch of loudmouthed narcissists. So I ditched them.
It's really simple. If you want to have friends of quality, surround yourself with people of quality. At the other end of the spectrum, don't stand in the corner by the potted palm with a drink in your hand. Maybe you are just boring the snot out of everybody.
I had friends of the sort the OP described. Then I realized that my friends were a bunch of loudmouthed narcissists. So I ditched them.
It's really simple. If you want to have friends of quality, surround yourself with people of quality. At the other end of the spectrum, don't stand in the corner by the potted palm with a drink in your hand. Maybe you are just boring the snot out of everybody.
Are you speaking from experience?
It's true that one should find better friends, but hey, it's not always that easy. It's sometimes difficult to know what sort you're dealing with but when you meet so many that are this way, it's easy to lose a little faith.
I really found this to be true in the work environment. I used to work with a woman named Stacy. I used to tell my husband that if Stacy and I weren't talking about Stacy, then we weren't talking. I've met tons of people like that. I sometimes say ridiculous things, out loud, during conversations like that just to see if they can even comprehend someone else being in "their" conversation. Most of the time, no one notices. BUT...it does amuse me to no end.
It's true one might be boring, but is that really a good reason to be a selfishly rude prig? Don't think so...but still, that behavior is becoming much more common.
Many years ago I had a boss that was very self-centered. One of my co-workers said that the boss never actually listened to anything that someone else said. I told my co-worker that he was exaggerating but my co-worker gave me an example. Our boss came up to us and said "Look at my new shoes! Aren't they fabulous!". My co-worker told him "I think that they look really ugly and I really them." Our boss happily replied, "I knew that you would love them as much as I do!" I was speechless.
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