I want to move back to Miami but boyfriend doesnt want to... I can't decide what to do (Miami Beach: live, restaurant)

[StarfishKey]

Truthfully, if you really feel like you need to be in Miami to be happy you should move here and be long-distance for a while with the boyfriend. If you two are really a good match you'll still be together at the end of it. Spend 6 mos or a year figuring out if this is really what you want to do, or if you were wrong and Miami isn't that perfect for you. If you love it, and boyfriend still won't come, then you know you two are not a good match because you want totally different things out of life. Or he'll decide it's not so bad and move down, or you'll decide it's not so great and move elsewhere to be with him.

The reality is, Miami is unique in the US, there is nowhere else that will be exactly like it. That goes both ways - it means if you really need it, nowhere else is going to be a good substitute. It also means that if he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. Very few people are actually cut out for Miami life full-time. A ton of people who think they'll love it turn out to hate it (hence half of this entire forum's threads), so someone who starts out hating it doesn't have much chance - all the more since he was actually here for some 4 months before.

You have a right to be happy, and you shouldn't settle. If Miami is the only place on Earth you want to live, then that's where you should live. If the relationship is right, it will make it through this temporary phase of figuring that out. However, I would agree with an earlier comment that this is not a good career move. Don't come back here just because adult life is scary and you're looking for something safe and familiar. Don't sacrifice your future and your career just because it's hard being 24 and starting out fresh in a faraway city. But if you really just know Miami has everything you want in life, then own that and admit that the person you have merged your life with currently doesn't share your culture/values/vision of the future/hopes, or whatever it is that he can't stand that you adore in the Miami scenario. I think this difference represents more than just a city preference. In a relationship, when you are both very hard-set on living in two totally opposite places, that represents a whole lot about what each of you want in general. So take a moment to consider that, because you seem to be in a fair amount of anguish over this. Just as a general note about relationships at this critical juncture of your life when you're on the verge of making some very big decisions, don't force a square peg into a round hole. If you want the same things, wonderful. If you don't, be open to seeing that.

But I personally would try long-distance for a while and see if all this angst is even necessary. You would probably figure out what's really important to you by being here for a while and trying it out at this current stage of your life, when you actually want to be here vs. the circumstances that forced you here prior. And definitely have a job lined up before moving - it's not a friendly place for the under-employed.

[SDPMiami]

Originally Posted by ldl5112

Maybe your boyfriend knows he will be miserable with Miami's climate? It takes a lot of adjustment to even get to the point where it's tolerable, especially if you're from an area with a drastically different climate. He'd be exchanging miserable winters for miserable spring, summer, and fall.

It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to 80s and sunny?

Because that's the climate of Miami. In the summer we get some 90s (mostly low 90s) and in the winter some 70s, even some 60s.

One more thing, a lot of people from Boston would love to move to Miami just for the weather. The same cannot be said the other way around.

[ldl5112]

Originally Posted by SDPMiami

It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to 80s and sunny?

Because that's the climate of Miami. In the summer we get some 90s (mostly low 90s) and in the winter some 70s, even some 60s.

One more thing, a lot of people from Boston would love to move to Miami just for the weather. The same cannot be said the other way around.

I'm talking 90+ degrees and 90% humidity, and it's not so much the heat as the humidity that's terrible. Even now, we're starting to get days that are uncomfortable for me and a lot of other people, so I'm dreading this summer. The humidity only gets worse, and it's horrid from around May to mid-October. And yes, it does take a lot of adjustment when the rest of the country isn't nearly as humid. It makes me not even want to get out of my apartment to go to work or a store, since I'm sweating and sticky by the time I even get to my car. I used to live in an area where it would regularly go above 100 (sometimes over 110) and while it was still hot as hell, it was MUCH more comfortable just because it was very low humidity.

There's a reason the snowbirds are called snowbirds. They come down for the winters and then leave when it's more comfortable back home than it is in Miami. Remember, Miami isn't Southern California. It's one thing to have high temperatures, but high temperatures combined with high humidity is a killer.

[ldl5112]

And I'll go on the record saying that I'm one person that would rather live in Massachusetts, especially coastal Mass, than in Miami (at least 9 months out of the year, anyway). Coastal Massachusetts is amazing, in terms of summer climate. I spent a summer as an intern on Cape Cod several years ago, and I loved it. Nice and cool in the evenings, rarely went above 75 during the day, sunny but not too hot, generally lower humidity (especially compared to where I was from at the time). It was so nice!

[SDPMiami]

Originally Posted by ldl5112

I'm talking 90+ degrees and 90% humidity,

Then you're not talking about Miami because those days are rare. Last summer, the highest temperature recorded was 95F, on an average week in July we would have 2-3 days in the low 90s. And that's the summer, not to mention it wasn't 90% humidity.

Quite frankly, your ridiculous assertion aside, during the worst of the Miami summer, I can take a jog outside my house and be fine. Something I cannot do in a Boston winter. There is no period in Miami that is "cabin fever" season unless you're morbidly obese.

[valicky]

Originally Posted by SDPMiami

Then you're not talking about Miami because those days are rare. Last summer, the highest temperature recorded was 95F, on an average week in July we would have 2-3 days in the low 90s. And that's the summer, not to mention it wasn't 90% humidity.

Quite frankly, your ridiculous assertion aside, during the worst of the Miami summer, I can take a jog outside my house and be fine. Something I cannot do in a Boston winter. There is no period in Miami that is "cabin fever" season unless you're morbidly obese.

That's how the weather works for YOU. It's not the same for everyone. I can't do any exercise outside in the summer and I weigh 105 pounds. The weather is already starting to get uncomfortable for me as well. If the summers were so bearable the snowbirds wouldn't leave. I also can do better in the summers in AZ because the heat is dry. Other people do better in humid heat. It all depends on the person. I know people who can't even stand when the temps reach 80. There are people who think snow weather is awesome and people who feel cold when it's 50. Everyone is different and not just like you.

[ldl5112]

Originally Posted by SDPMiami

Then you're not talking about Miami because those days are rare. Last summer, the highest temperature recorded was 95F, on an average week in July we would have 2-3 days in the low 90s. And that's the summer, not to mention it wasn't 90% humidity.

Quite frankly, your ridiculous assertion aside, during the worst of the Miami summer, I can take a jog outside my house and be fine. Something I cannot do in a Boston winter. There is no period in Miami that is "cabin fever" season unless you're morbidly obese.

Maybe the humidity isn't actually that high, but it sure feels like it. The fact still stands that it's not comfortable or pleasant for a lot of people, which you can see in any of the threads where Miami's climate are mentioned. Are you really going to say that high humidity during periods of high temperatures is actually comfortable? At least when it's cold, you can put on more layers. There's a limit to how much you can take off when it's hot and sticky and not get arrested.

[tankhead]

Originally Posted by SDPMiami

Then you're not talking about Miami because those days are rare. Last summer, the highest temperature recorded was 95F, on an average week in July we would have 2-3 days in the low 90s. And that's the summer, not to mention it wasn't 90% humidity.

Quite frankly, your ridiculous assertion aside, during the worst of the Miami summer, I can take a jog outside my house and be fine. Something I cannot do in a Boston winter. There is no period in Miami that is "cabin fever" season unless you're morbidly obese.

More like everyday in July. Even the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) shows the average highs for every single day in July as being in the 90s.

"The month of July is characterized by essentially constant daily high temperatures, with daily highs around 90°F throughout the month, exceeding 93°F or dropping below 86°F only one day in ten."

"The relative humidity typically ranges from 56% (mildly humid) to 95% (very humid) over the course of a typical July, rarely dropping below 49% (comfortable) and reaching as high as 100% (very humid)."

Source:
https://weatherspark.com/averages/31...-United-States

http://www.srh.noaa.gov/images/mfl/c...1981-2010).pdf

[valicky]

And the super high humidity is during the cooler times too so it makes the "cooler" (using that word very loosely) times still feel incredibly hot and sticky.

[SDPMiami]

Originally Posted by tankhead

More like everyday in July. Even the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) shows the average highs for every single day in July as being in the 90s.

I meant 2-3 days per week.

The average high in August/July is 89F in Miami Beach (just under 90) and 90F in Miami. 90F and 70% RH (which is about the warmest it gets, every now and then it will be 90F and 80% RH) may not be comfortable, it sure isn't miserable. You can lounge outside easy enough in that kind of weather, as evidenced by the activity on Espanola street. This February, when we had that night in the 40s, they completely shut down Espanola's outdoor seating. Something I never saw them do for one of those "miserable" 90 degree days.

So I will leave to your imagination which is more comfortable.