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Instead of focusing on women in the black community to wait,they need to really focus on the men, teac them how to be men woudl yield better results imho.
Because unless these men learn,the women will be waiting forever.
As is the situation now.
Its also interesting the Hispanic cohabitation numbers.....
53% of hispanic babies are born out of wedlock,but 30% of mothers and fathers are cohabitating.
The number is more than likely true.
I know way too many black mothers who are single or cohabitating.
Some of the couples have been cohabitating for so long I didn't even realize they were not married until years later.
What's wrong with discussing it though?
There is a problem,and I didn't see any racist stereotypes yet.
The problem won't go away on its own.
I have no idea what the motive of the OP is but many years ago Tony Brown's Journal had a multi part discussion of how welfare had forced the man out of the home in order to qualify for welfare. He discussed the growing success of the African American up to the great depression and how, in Harlan especially, there were many successful banks, restaurants, and businesses of every kind that were owned by African Americans. After the depression hit most all was lost and many finally turned to welfare when it was instituted. The most welfare was given to Mothers with no husband in the home. Many men chose to leave their homes so their families could apply. So that set up a long held pattern of no man in the home. It might be simplistic but that is what I gathered from that special.
This is the only reference I could find to that show, and it's not even a link, just another forum discussing it.
Tony Brown's Journal 4-10-06 Winning the Race-Beyond The Crisis In Black America
No one can force a man out of the home,just saying. He just wanted to leave.
If that's the case,what about whites? Why did it not force them out of the home? Same with hispanics.
I think the most important thing that resulted in more black female heads of household is integration.
I’m not just making this up. Seventy-three percent of black children are born out of wedlock. WAIT.
OH MY GEEZUS AND WHAT THE CUSS!! EIGHTY PERCENT OF BLACK CHILDREN ARE BORN OUT-OF-WEDLOCK!! This is according to a story in USA Today, dated April 11, 2012. Take a gander at the stark differences, and YOU tell ME which group is faring better educationally and economically:
"About 80% of first children born to black women were outside of marriage; 18% of these women were cohabiting. Among Hispanics, 53% of first children were born outside of marriage, and 30% of the women were cohabiting. Among white women, 34% of first children were born outside of marriage, 20% to cohabiters. Among Asians, 13% of first children were born outside of marriage; 7% of women were cohabiting."
Compare that with, oh ... ANYONE else, and you see we lead the pack. (After No Wedding No Womb, you’d have to be living inside a crevice and a stone not to know my take on this. Getting pregnant doesn’t “just happen” and no man’s penis trips and falls into a woman’s vagina.)
Where’s the black church on this issue? No outrage? Oh. They’re too busy co-signing the beating and choking of 15 year-old girls.
I’m going to get a little personal here. A month before my wedding, The Hubster and I were ... uh ... ”coloring,” and I said “Hey, why not let it slide with the condoms? We’re getting married in 27 days.” He flat out told me “No. I won’t risk it. You’ve already proven your fertility with Maxi Me, and I want to be sure that ALL my kids are born after your ring is on.” Welp; guess he told me. It was a good thing, too, because my husband can just blow in my ear and I get knocked up.
Because I know the parents of the groom, I know that they were just a teenie, tiny, eensie, weensie bit nervous about having a black daughter-in-law, but you know what helped a lot? Them knowing our family, and seeing that we were just like everyone else, except I’m chocolate and my husband is vanilla. His parents were also willing to grow and learn, and even bought a copy of SWIRLING: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed so they could better understand the bride’s cultural experiences. Bottom line though, she was pregnant, and they were going to support their son legitimizing his child.
Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of the opposite going on in the black community, with black mothers front and center petting and protecting their sons, telling them they better not marry that tramp, because the baby might not even be theirs, blah blah blah. But in their defense, most of those mothers got pregnant without being married, so telling their sons not to marry women with whom they have impregnated is as natural as a puppy piddling on your Persian rug. I wonder though…might this resistance be only because marriage then children is so foreign, or something else, like jealously toward the girl, because the son deems her worthy of marriage while the mother didn’t have such an experience?
How are you working in the "black community" to help solve problems?
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
3,982 posts, read 6,688,188 times
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why do you care, if you aren't black, which you probably not, it doesn't effect you..and your link claims all races have raising rates of births outside of marriage
i see now youre a single mom who didn't get married to your black spouse, why didn't he or you value marriage?
Last edited by L'Artiste; 01-30-2013 at 07:44 AM..
Reason: updated information
why do you care, if you aren't black, which you probably not, it doesn't effect you..and your link claims all races have raising rates of births outside of marriage
By your statement above, no one should care about social issues other than with their own ethnic group. It seems you are from New Orleans. Should the rest of the United States take a "don't care, doesn't matter to me" attitude about Katrina, or the violent crime rate in NOLA?
There is nothing wrong with non-black people expressing an interest and concern in social issues of blacks.
I suppose it isn't an issue at all that more blacks are in jail, more blacks kill blacks than whites, etc.?
My take on this thread is that marriage or not is the wrong issue to be looking at. The more significant issue I think is children raised in single parent households. A household with only one parent faces huge economic challenges when one person needs to earn a living AND raise children.
There is nothing wrong with non-black people expressing an interest and concern in social issues of blacks.
There is, if any of the following conditions occur:
A) The commenter offers no proper solution to the issue at hand and mentions it only to "stir the pot". A Rallying cry to make sure that everyone knows how difficult x race (in this case, blacks) are.
B) The commenter offers this from a holier than thou viewpoint. " I am white/asian/hispanic and I could teach you blacks a thing or two about how to live life " . Offer it from a human perspective because ALL races have issues.
C) The commenters in question refuse to acknowledge the issues of their own (if non black) race or any other race and fixate on blacks.
D) The notion that blacks, are in dire need of assistance from "greater" races. By and large, the majority of people on this forum ARE NOT affected by out of wedlock births in the black community. They are not black, their spouses are not black, their children aren't black, their parents aren't black. They don't know any black people and they don't live in close proximity to blacks or they engage with a small number of blacks in inner cities etc and extrapolate this limited sample to the greater population. Ergo you have posts such as OPs which offer superb armchair quarterbacking.
why do you care, if you aren't black, which you probably not, it doesn't effect you..and your link claims all races have raising rates of births outside of marriage
i see now youre a single mom who didn't get married to your black spouse, why didn't he or you value marriage?
This
Quote:
Them knowing our family, and seeing that we were just like everyone else, except I’m chocolate and my husband is vanilla.
would indicate that the OP is a black woman married to a white man.
There is, if any of the following conditions occur:
A) The commenter offers no proper solution to the issue at hand and mentions it only to "stir the pot". A Rallying cry to make sure that everyone knows how difficult x race (in this case, blacks) are.
B) The commenter offers this from a holier than thou viewpoint. " I am white/asian/hispanic and I could teach you blacks a thing or two about how to live life " . Offer it from a human perspective because ALL races have issues.
.
As it has been stated, the OP is probably black. Also, what are your solutions to this problem or are you only "stirring the pot" against the OP.
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