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As I have another Granddaughter due next week I re-read this thread.
My DH's grandfather lived to the age of 94. He had 33 grandchildren and a gazillion greats at the time of his death.
While not rich by any means when the grands were younger they tried to at least give each child a silver dollar for their b'days. While most of them appreciated and looked forward to this, there were always some that thought they needed more.
The silver dollars stopped when the greedy ones made the comment..."Is this all we get?"
Lost of rumors and misunderstandings followed, so they ended up hurt and stopped it all together.
Sad really....my DH still has some of them.
Phonelady61, I'm so sorry your mother did those things. I always hold on to the hope that the next generations fixes the problems of the past.
I don't think there should be a cut-off age... but I think grandparents (& other people as well) should reconsider giving gifts if kids who are of reasonable age fail to appreciate gifts... I think it stinks when teenagers & older see gifts as an obligation, and won't put a few minutes into even writing a little "thank you" note
I would say talk it over with the parents. Express your concerns and work it out from there.
My grandma kept giving us a card with about 20 bucks in it all our life but we were always in her life and giving her things taking her out etc.
Do what you feel is best but never feel obligated after the grandkids graduate from high school.... by then they should be doing more for you. If they stay in your life actively then by all means keep it up. If they don't I would say cut them off esp if you never get an honest thank you from them. To many kids will use their grandparents blind without so much as a by-your-leave.
I am 30 and still get a small gift from both sets of my grandparents each year. I have asked them not to, financially I cannot reciprocate and I don't like all the gift-giving around Christmas anyway. But, they do not listen to me.
I think that if your heart isn't in giving the gift ...don't give one.
One should want to give gifts not feel obligated and there is no cutoff.
We all still give gifts because its fun. ...sometimes we give big ones and sometimes small
giving is just letting them know you are thinking about them
As a Grandmother, if feel that I want the kids to know I am thinking of them at Christmas. As long as I can, I will send them something...now that they are older and I don't see them often, I send a check although I would rather give them a real present if I knew what they would like.
At age 18, I will probably stop, since we'll be retired by then and watching our $$.
I have two sets of grandparents. I am 31 years old. One set of grandparents sends me a gift every Christmas, but not birthdays. The other set stopped around the time I got married, in my late 20s.
I'm having this problem. One granddaughter and she now has a baby. So I'm expected to give to both of them. When I was working Ii could afford to be generous. Now I'm not working. The mother of the gr.dau. somehow thinks that I have a lot of money. I gave them each $20 for Xmas. Grand dau. Birthday Jan - I sent a card. This kid is going to be lavished upon with gifts, but not from this G'ma.
My grandmother made it plain that when the kid turned 21 - no more gifts.
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