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I'm not afraid of what's already happened - the loss of sexual attractiveness and greatly diminished desire. Of course it's an individual thing and you can attempt to keep these things at bay.
But on the whole, both sexes have much lower hormone levels than in their 30s, there's sun damage, sagging skin, grey/white hair, baldness, and bent posture from weakening bones and muscles. At some point you become nearly invisible to the opposite sex.
It's built into our genetic code to look for signs of youth and good health, after a certain point that's gone and you're just in the "OLD PERSON" category.
I know.. I am friendly and will speak with others in public, thinking outwardly that I am seen as the same person I have always been, but has occurred to me how someone may view me, such as "that old lady". I have had to come to terms with change. I don't like it, but it is how it is. I recall the beginning of "feeling invisible"..when a bit younger man practically walked right through me as if I was not there. (Shocking.. when I had been used to always having attention). So, then you have to accept no more of anything else either, which as you say, luckily I do not have the drive I once had. Older men want young women, young men want young women.
* First thing I experienced was a brown spot on one cheek, then another smaller one, will not go away.
* A bad eyelid muscle that worsened after a Cataract surgery, which needs repair.
* Sagging skin.
* An Osteoarthritic knee, developing from an injury years ago. (Do not want surgery for different reasons).
The good news is, my hair is not bad, I don't color and is not noticeably gray or white. (I don't want to look too weird, but I think what scares me most is being unable to remember, take care of myself, etc., after having been independent).
I make myself up and dress nicely..but I realize it doesn't matter, if it comes to men.. old is old. Maybe if I lived in a retirement community, I would be considered a "hottie"...LOL..(though I was never into older men). Oh, well.
Last edited by In2itive_1; 08-13-2016 at 04:35 AM..
I am not afraid of getting older. Hell, I AM older already (mid fifties).
Just this year I decided to let my hair go gray - and to my delight, I found out that my natural hair color is a natural ombre and it looks MUCH better with my skin tone than that dyed and damaged crap I used to have on my head. I cut it in a very choppy, funky, spiky sort of style and I LOVE it. I get compliments on it daily, from random strangers, and have given out my beautician's number so many times I just ought to carry her business cards around with me - in fact, I am going to ask her about that.
I even have people in stores or restaurants ask if they can touch my hair so they can see if theirs feels the same since they want to cut it like this. And I've had people exclaim "WOW, is that your natural color?" I've had several friends tell me that they are going to take the plunge and transition to their natural gray or white as well now.
I am not kidding myself - I don't look 35 anymore (35 is a great age if you can manage to ignore the preteens in your life - LOL - preteen girls are of the devil and preteen boys smell really weird). And you know what - I DO NOT CARE.
I've gone through menopause and my waist is thicker. I just changed the style of clothes I wear and frankly I can't remember the last time I wore a belt - LOL. And I'm comfortable and my clothes suit my figure and are attractive and I feel good in them.
My skin is not as firm and tight as it used to be. OK, I just wear longer shorts. I truly don't care that I don't have a tan - I've never been into that so my skin isn't sun damaged.
The only thing that bothers me to any large degree is that I don't like the skin on my neck. It's not HORRIBLE but I can see where it's going. And you know what - I may get that fixed surgically. See, that's the good thing about this age for me - I have the money to spend on that if I want to spend it. That neck skin thing is sort of weird because the skin on my face honestly hasn't wrinkled significantly - I have a few laugh lines around my eyes but they're very light. Why does my neck look older than my face? I am starting to wonder if people think I've already "had something done" on my face but was too cheap to do it to my neck - LOL. I may bite the surgical bullet so my neck matches my face. Maybe at age 55. Oops, that's next year!
As for sex drive and attention from men - well, let's see how to put this...
First of all, I'm happily married to a man who is five years older than me. He's a good looking man but he is a man pushing 60. Thankfully he has no desire whatsoever for younger women. In fact, when we started dating (12 years ago), he told me that he was a little concerned because I was "so much younger than him." What? He really prefers women and friends who are close to his age, and he thinks I'm pretty, so I don't worry much about that - I just keep myself age appropriately attractive and healthy and I always dress with his preferences in mind, because why not? (For instance, he's not much taller than me so I don't wear heels that make me taller than him, and he HATES polka dots so I don't wear them around him - LOL). He likes my style of clothes anyway, so that's easy.
My husband and I are pretty much on the same vibe when it comes to intimacy, so no worries there. I will say...how do I say this delicately...sex does change when you're older. But it's nice to be with someone who is basically going through the same changes you are at the same time.
As for attention from other men - NOT INTERESTED. In fact, twice in the past couple of years, I've had men about my age hit on me, and frankly, it appalled me. I mean, I was flattered a little bit but also seriously alarmed. In one instance, I got in the car immediately afterwards (alone) and burst into hysterical laughter and had to call my daughter right away, and we both howled with laughter for about ten minutes!
My husband has high blood pressure. I am afraid he is a walking heart attack. I have already decided that if he passes on before me, I nearly certainly won't remarry. I can't imagine acclimating to an old man and all their idiosyncracies. Yuck. It's one thing to grow old with someone you love - it's another thing to get intimate with someone old in your old age. I can't imagine it. I want no part of it! Nope, if I am a widow, I am going to do other things with my time. I will travel. I will spend more time with my four kids and eight grandkids. I will hang out with other older ladies and we will get together and go shopping, or go to Venice, or share a few bottles of wine and laugh about old men.
Am I invisible to other people? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. But I don't think so. I've never been a sex pot. I mean, I've been blessed to be moderately attractive but I've never based my self worth on my looks - my sense of identity comes more from my wits, my energy level, my talents, that sort of thing, and that's what's apparently been attractive to other people my entire life, so thankfully my changing looks don't distress me very much.
I've found that a big, wide smile and an animated personality still get the job done when it comes to healthy attention from other people, men and women, of every age.
I'll tell you what's great about older age to me, just off the top of my head:
Not having to pinch pennies (more financially secure)
Self confidence that comes from experience
Not worrying about whether or not other people think I look hot. Please.
Not spending hours and many dollars at the beauty salon getting highlights or hair coloring and wondering if my hair style is trendy enough
Enjoying comfortable clothes and not wondering if they "make me look old." I don't care what other people think about my clothes - I buy what I like and wear what I like and to hell with what other people think.
Not even wondering for an instant if the opposite sex finds me attractive. I mean, I used to wonder and fret about this some, since I was suddenly single in my forties (thankfully I found that plenty of men are interested in dating women in their forties). Now I couldn't care less. That's a relief in a sense.
I'm lucky because I feel good and have a lot of energy. I want to keep it that way!
Ditto. I'm loving life. It just keeps getting better!
Yes! The moment you worry about one specific thing happening something entirely different, you didn't prepare for, will happen. I have given up worrying as THAT is very aging!
I am not afraid of getting older. Hell, I AM older already (mid fifties).
Just this year I decided to let my hair go gray - and to my delight, I found out that my natural hair color is a natural ombre and it looks MUCH better with my skin tone than that dyed and damaged crap I used to have on my head. I cut it in a very choppy, funky, spiky sort of style and I LOVE it. I get compliments on it daily, from random strangers, and have given out my beautician's number so many times I just ought to carry her business cards around with me - in fact, I am going to ask her about that.
I even have people in stores or restaurants ask if they can touch my hair so they can see if theirs feels the same since they want to cut it like this. And I've had people exclaim "WOW, is that your natural color?" I've had several friends tell me that they are going to take the plunge and transition to their natural gray or white as well now.
I am not kidding myself - I don't look 35 anymore (35 is a great age if you can manage to ignore the preteens in your life - LOL - preteen girls are of the devil and preteen boys smell really weird). And you know what - I DO NOT CARE.
I've gone through menopause and my waist is thicker. I just changed the style of clothes I wear and frankly I can't remember the last time I wore a belt - LOL. And I'm comfortable and my clothes suit my figure and are attractive and I feel good in them.
My skin is not as firm and tight as it used to be. OK, I just wear longer shorts. I truly don't care that I don't have a tan - I've never been into that so my skin isn't sun damaged.
The only thing that bothers me to any large degree is that I don't like the skin on my neck. It's not HORRIBLE but I can see where it's going. And you know what - I may get that fixed surgically. See, that's the good thing about this age for me - I have the money to spend on that if I want to spend it. That neck skin thing is sort of weird because the skin on my face honestly hasn't wrinkled significantly - I have a few laugh lines around my eyes but they're very light. Why does my neck look older than my face? I am starting to wonder if people think I've already "had something done" on my face but was too cheap to do it to my neck - LOL. I may bite the surgical bullet so my neck matches my face. Maybe at age 55. Oops, that's next year!
As for sex drive and attention from men - well, let's see how to put this...
First of all, I'm happily married to a man who is five years older than me. He's a good looking man but he is a man pushing 60. Thankfully he has no desire whatsoever for younger women. In fact, when we started dating (12 years ago), he told me that he was a little concerned because I was "so much younger than him." What? He really prefers women and friends who are close to his age, and he thinks I'm pretty, so I don't worry much about that - I just keep myself age appropriately attractive and healthy and I always dress with his preferences in mind, because why not? (For instance, he's not much taller than me so I don't wear heels that make me taller than him, and he HATES polka dots so I don't wear them around him - LOL). He likes my style of clothes anyway, so that's easy.
My husband and I are pretty much on the same vibe when it comes to intimacy, so no worries there. I will say...how do I say this delicately...sex does change when you're older. But it's nice to be with someone who is basically going through the same changes you are at the same time.
As for attention from other men - NOT INTERESTED. In fact, twice in the past couple of years, I've had men about my age hit on me, and frankly, it appalled me. I mean, I was flattered a little bit but also seriously alarmed. In one instance, I got in the car immediately afterwards (alone) and burst into hysterical laughter and had to call my daughter right away, and we both howled with laughter for about ten minutes!
My husband has high blood pressure. I am afraid he is a walking heart attack. I have already decided that if he passes on before me, I nearly certainly won't remarry. I can't imagine acclimating to an old man and all their idiosyncracies. Yuck. It's one thing to grow old with someone you love - it's another thing to get intimate with someone old in your old age. I can't imagine it. I want no part of it! Nope, if I am a widow, I am going to do other things with my time. I will travel. I will spend more time with my four kids and eight grandkids. I will hang out with other older ladies and we will get together and go shopping, or go to Venice, or share a few bottles of wine and laugh about old men.
Am I invisible to other people? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. But I don't think so. I've never been a sex pot. I mean, I've been blessed to be moderately attractive but I've never based my self worth on my looks - my sense of identity comes more from my wits, my energy level, my talents, that sort of thing, and that's what's apparently been attractive to other people my entire life, so thankfully my changing looks don't distress me very much.
I've found that a big, wide smile and an animated personality still get the job done when it comes to healthy attention from other people, men and women, of every age.
I'll tell you what's great about older age to me, just off the top of my head:
Not having to pinch pennies (more financially secure)
Self confidence that comes from experience
Not worrying about whether or not other people think I look hot. Please.
Not spending hours and many dollars at the beauty salon getting highlights or hair coloring and wondering if my hair style is trendy enough
Enjoying comfortable clothes and not wondering if they "make me look old." I don't care what other people think about my clothes - I buy what I like and wear what I like and to hell with what other people think.
Not even wondering for an instant if the opposite sex finds me attractive. I mean, I used to wonder and fret about this some, since I was suddenly single in my forties (thankfully I found that plenty of men are interested in dating women in their forties). Now I couldn't care less. That's a relief in a sense.
I'm lucky because I feel good and have a lot of energy. I want to keep it that way!
I have read your posts for years and just wanted to comment that you sound like you are very healthy. Cheers!
Yesterday I was minding two of the youngest grandkids, one was on the computer and the younger one whos just five was playing Ludo with me... i was shouting and pretending to get excited and pulling faces and he giggled so much he had to run to the toilet... so Im not invisible yet... at least to a five year old...Although Im aging now at 69 I dont think Ive changed an awful lot.. got heavier.. by a couple of stones , but people still know me from a teenager... what I mean is some women change so much with old women faces that all look alike... and the same hairdos.. IM always looking at their ears as some seem si long...and they get wrinkles being the earlobes..and most insist on heavy looking dangly earrings, that do damn all for their faces or ears... small studs are much more flattering as they dont pull the face down more.... so dont forget the moisturiser there as well.. then I check my own hahaha. they look ok.. but then my eyesights crap hahahaha.
Yesterday I was minding two of the youngest grandkids, one was on the computer and the younger one whos just five was playing Ludo with me... i was shouting and pretending to get excited and pulling faces and he giggled so much he had to run to the toilet... so Im not invisible yet... at least to a five year old...Although Im aging now at 69 I dont think Ive changed an awful lot.. got heavier.. by a couple of stones , but people still know me from a teenager... what I mean is some women change so much with old women faces that all look alike... and the same hairdos.. IM always looking at their ears as some seem si long...and they get wrinkles being the earlobes..and most insist on heavy looking dangly earrings, that do damn all for their faces or ears... small studs are much more flattering as they dont pull the face down more.... so dont forget the moisturiser there as well.. then I check my own hahaha. they look ok.. but then my eyesights crap hahahaha.
Yes on the post earrings. There are so many styles with pearls, stones with diamonds, tiny hoops that brighten the face but don't pull it down. Great point! I hope I have a sense of humor like you do at 69!��
Yes on the post earrings. There are so many styles with pearls, stones with diamonds, tiny hoops that brighten the face but don't pull it down. Great point! I hope I have a sense of humor like you do at 69!��
I have to keep laughing it doesnt show the jowls so much..
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