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where do they sell good larger sizes? My mother is a size 14/16 with boobs to match but she still wears an old 38c strapless bra from VS almost everyday. I think once menopause hit she stopped caring but I would like to help her find a decent bra.
It depends what your mom is like on top. If she has a narrower back/larger cup try Nordstrom to get fitted. Hopefully she'll be under an H-cup. If she is wider in the back, then try Lane Bryant (38+). If you are larger in the back and the cup, then it gets to be a little tricky, there aren't many brands that have F+ cup options for people with band sizes of 40+.
One common misconeption is that larger women also have wider backs. This is more dependent on your body shape than anything else. For reference, I wear size 14, and my bra size is 32HH-34H. My overall body type is somewhere between pear and hourglass. If she is more like an apple - who tend to have wider backs, she probably needs a larger band. If she doesn't have a wide back, then she definitely needs a band somewhere under 36. If she is super narrow on top, than it is probably 28 or 30.
The best measuring technique is, measure under your bust to get your approximate band. And then over the fullest part of your bust to calculate the cup; subtract your underbust from your bust measurement for the cup calculation.
For example, for me, I am ~33 underbust, ~41 bust.
Band = 32-34
Cup = ~H (1=A, 2=B, 3=C, 4=D, 5=E, 6=F, 7=G, 8=H, 9=J in UK sizes. US sizes are pretty messed up, and not many US sizes go past F, add about 2 cups to calculate your US size)
Most men I've known aren't concerned about such things, or they're exceptionally excellent at keeping quiet about it.
I don't like the super billowy padded bras, but I do wear padded ones. I was cursed with the scourge of scoliosis, and due to non - attentive - to - issues - that - aren't - immediately - urgent parents, I did not get diagnosed until I was age 18 and it was too late for corrective braces. I do not have a severe case, but if I ran about naked, everyone would notice. When you have scoliosis and your spine curves to the side, your entire torso curves to compensate. This caused me to be noticeably asymmetrical in the breast area. I've always been in pretty good physical shape otherwise, and have liked stylish clothing, and I refuse to resign to wearing ugly oversized camp shirts, boring "hippy" tunics and frumpy trapeze dresses to cover up being asymmetrical. Padded bras with underwire disguise my boob area and make it look normal under body skimming, sheer or snug clothing (have to use other tricks for the ribcage/waist).
I always confided in potential men partners that I had scoliosis and screwed up looking boobs. I always find discussing matters of health and physical shape important, as a form of disclosure. (This kind of talk also made clear what kind of food I would and would not eat, where I would and would not go, types of people I refused to be around, etc.). I've never had any negative remarks about my chest, but I was also not with the type of man for which a perfect set of artistically beautiful ones was important.
I don't know what is padded. I have a few that are kind of silky feeling. My breasts are large, and real and you know what? I have nipples. News flash.
I do have one bra that is a little thicker and they make me look...not like me.
That depends on how small. I just like big ones period. I'm not picky as long as they are at least average size. Those super tiny ones do nothing for me. I'm spoiled rotten because every woman on both sides of my family came/comes well equipped.
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If she is wider in the back, then try Lane Bryant (38+). If you are larger in the back and the cup, then it gets to be a little tricky, there aren't many brands that have F+ cup options for people with band sizes of 40+. 
