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Old 09-25-2015, 09:32 PM
 
Location: State of Grace
1,608 posts, read 1,487,149 times
Reputation: 2697

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teilhard View Post
I find Dave Barry's take on marital matters to be *spot*on* …

E.g., he advises that there are some questions a husband should just never answer …

for example --

[she] "Do you love me … ???"
[he] "It depends on what you mean by, 'love' …"

[she] "What are you thinking …???"
[he] "I was just thinking of how I would spend the insurance money if you died …"

LOL! I know Dave (mainly because we're both authors), and he's funny in just day-to-day life too. It's been years since I've read anything of his though. Thanks for posting this!

Blessings,


Mahrie.
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Old 09-25-2015, 09:57 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
1,384 posts, read 1,058,114 times
Reputation: 1635
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
Some of this makes sense. Some of it is really insane. One dude's wife was pregnant with another man's child and he was like "Cool, I'll raise it". WTF!?!

Also, a few said something along the lines of: "I know my marriage was over when she filed for divorce". Boy, those guys are really good at picking up on subtle hints lol.
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Old 09-25-2015, 10:02 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
2,526 posts, read 1,598,353 times
Reputation: 2765
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
Some of this makes sense. Some of it is really insane. One dude's wife was pregnant with another man's child and he was like "Cool, I'll raise it". WTF!?!

Also, a few said something along the lines of: "I know my marriage was over when she filed for divorce". Boy, those guys are really good at picking up on subtle hints lol.
cue: Rodney Dangerfield ...
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Old 09-26-2015, 01:23 AM
 
Location: Illinois
4,751 posts, read 5,445,842 times
Reputation: 13002
What I saw in the article was a lot of men who were completely clueless as to the state of their marriage. For the most part, these things don't happen in a vacuum, so either they were in denial, willfully ignorant, or just really stupid about how successful relationships function. I hope they learned something and were more mentally and emotionally present in their next relationships.
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Old 09-26-2015, 03:19 AM
 
31,941 posts, read 27,057,104 times
Reputation: 24839
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33 View Post
What I saw in the article was a lot of men who were completely clueless as to the state of their marriage. For the most part, these things don't happen in a vacuum, so either they were in denial, willfully ignorant, or just really stupid about how successful relationships function. I hope they learned something and were more mentally and emotionally present in their next relationships.
Scarlett O'Hara quipped that marriage was "fun" for men; which is truly how some husbands then and now feel about the union.

Many men then and now live in their own worlds and or just don't want to know. Far as their concerned they are doing their jobs; providing financial support and so forth. Wives have the house, the children, homemaking, aren't being knocked about (hopefully), aren't being humiliated in public (ditto) and so what do they have to complain about.

Sort of like "Married with Children" when ever Al Bundy would come home and ask Peggy "how was your day?" She'd begin to tell him and he'd stop her with "when I said "how was your day" I didn't really want you to tell me.
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Old 09-26-2015, 04:25 AM
 
Location: City Data Land
17,155 posts, read 12,981,405 times
Reputation: 33185
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brave Stranger View Post
Nothing wrong with cops It's not easy out there is all I can say. Lot of sadness.
True. But Patrolman has reason for hope. Our best friend is a sheriff and his wife, who live two doors down from us. They've been married 23 years and have two great kids together. The wife's father is a constable, and he's been married at least 35 years to a wonderful lady too. They also have two great kids, both daughters.
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:21 AM
 
16,644 posts, read 8,649,068 times
Reputation: 19462
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo View Post
Some of this makes sense. Some of it is really insane. One dude's wife was pregnant with another man's child and he was like "Cool, I'll raise it". WTF!?!

Also, a few said something along the lines of: "I know my marriage was over when she filed for divorce". Boy, those guys are really good at picking up on subtle hints lol.
Our society has really emasculated men to the point older generations of men would have little in common with the young men of today. As a result, men have allowed the bar in relationships to be moved into arenas where it never would have been before. Many women want the man to be a "real man" who is a problem solver, not a whiner/complainer.
Sure men have always been emotionally detached to one degree or another, as it is not in our nature to be as emotional as women. However I doubt most women prefer the metrosexuals or whatever else these pansies posing as men have become.

Needless to say any man who has a wife that cheats on him, and then he announces I will raise the illegitimate child of another man you are pregnant with, is not a normal man.

`
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:25 AM
 
Location: P.C.F
1,973 posts, read 2,277,800 times
Reputation: 1627
Sorry IMHO its 100% / 100% 3rd time for me.. First was a terrible idea 7 yrs, so was the 2nd ( 2 people on the rebound less than 5 yrs) 8 years of free time ... 3rd has had its struggles but learning who each of us is and who the other one is and what the REAL baggage is and wanting to get rid of that baggage helps a LOT. 28 years now.
She is NOT my everything and I am NOT her everything.. but there is no one between us... We do most everything together but not everything .. we have friends together but we each have a few of our own friends.. Guy friends for me, Girl friends for her.. none of that, its a platonic friendship crap..

Quote:
Originally Posted by VA Yankee View Post
Not really, I am on my 1st marriage, it will be 34 years in November. My wife once told me that if anything every happened to me she would eventually remarry, she added that she married for love the first time next time she'll take the cash. Then she asked me what I would do in that situation I told her I would never marry again, she thought I couldn't find someone to love; I said no I don't want the aggravation...

Marriage is not 50/50 it's 60/40 and both of you claim the bigger share that's what keeps it going if you want it to....
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,260 posts, read 17,129,598 times
Reputation: 15571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Macgregorsailor51 View Post
Sorry IMHO its 100% / 100% 3rd time for me.. First was a terrible idea 7 yrs, so was the 2nd ( 2 people on the rebound less than 5 yrs) 8 years of free time ... 3rd has had its struggles but learning who each of us is and who the other one is and what the REAL baggage is and wanting to get rid of that baggage helps a LOT. 28 years now.
She is NOT my everything and I am NOT her everything.. but there is no one between us... We do most everything together but not everything .. we have friends together but we each have a few of our own friends.. Guy friends for me, Girl friends for her.. none of that, its a platonic friendship crap..
Glad you found the right match for you... Like you we have things we do together and things we do ourselves or with our own friends. When I was in the Navy the couples that were the bobsy twins doing everything together were the ones that always failed. Personal independence is needed in any relationship.
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Old 09-26-2015, 07:45 AM
 
Location: City Data Land
17,155 posts, read 12,981,405 times
Reputation: 33185
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33 View Post
What I saw in the article was a lot of men who were completely clueless as to the state of their marriage. For the most part, these things don't happen in a vacuum, so either they were in denial, willfully ignorant, or just really stupid about how successful relationships function. I hope they learned something and were more mentally and emotionally present in their next relationships.
Exactly. Many men just float along a cloud of inertia in their marriages, believing they don't need to give one iota of effort to the relationship and it will somehow survive their inattention. This will sound cliched, but it's true. Relationships are like gardens; they need feeding and nuturing to survive. Men need to give more than a paycheck to keep the marriage alive. Women need to as well, but often they give more via childcare, housework, talking about any issues, etc. Eventually the woman gets fed up with the neglect, then oddly, the husband is totally shocked when the wife walks out.
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