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My parents were married for 57 years before my dad died. For her entire marriage, she stubbornly clung to the tiny little diamond that was all that my dad could afford for her ring when they were first married. As the years went by and he became successful, he wanted to replace the ring with a bigger one. She said no. They would have this argument every couple of years or so, and she'd refuse the bigger diamond ring, but told him that if he wished to buy her a cocktail ring or any other jewelry, she would love it and certainly wear it, but NOT THAT RING.
One days, as a teenager, I asked her why on earth she didn't want a bigger, flashier ring. She just smiled and said, "Because, every time I look at this ring, it's a reminder that it was all your dad had in the world at the time, and yet, he gave it to me. I look at that ring and think about how far we've come, and how hard he has worked for us. I'm never giving this ring up."
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Originally Posted by TerraDown
We're going on 37 years Arcenal. And it was love at first sight. I asked her to marry me on our first date.
It can be done.
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Originally Posted by notmeofficer
Marriage is hard work.. few are ready for it.. but those that persevere are rewarded with a rich irreplaceable experience
I am reminded everyday to honor my wife when she returns from a 4 am run preparing for the next marathon,, now over 100
I am reminded everyday she is smarter than me in so many things.. figuring out an impossible problem
I am reminded everyday when the deer and turkeys come right up to her knowing there is no danger and there stands a gentle soul
I am reminded everyday that my journey would be more difficult without her... and certainly less sweet
I am reminded that I can model my own parents and am lucky I have a loving family and we can pass this onto others
I am reminded everyday I am lucky(and sought out) a conscious soul who is not material.. all natural.. mensa smart .. unpretentious... a real California girl..
Im still a great cook... and I do housework better... phew.. real men can still do some things better
I am soooo sorry. What's anyone going to say after this...?
May God Bless you.
LOTS of love and All Good Things,
Mahrie.
It should make some of these people who seem to not be thankful for their marriage think about the things they are saying. Ive been married for well over 20 years and I am thankful for my wife. I have a good marriage and cannot imagine having to live without her. So sad to hear this man suffered such a terrible loss at such a young age. Difficult to recover from something like that.
Marriages based on the kinds of compromises mentioned above don't sound like fun to me. Is this *really* what some of you regard as a good marriage? Personally, I'd hate it!
Because I'm not as mobile as I'd like to be (I require a wheelchair), my husband has to take me to the hairdressers a couple of times a year to have my hair trimmed. I know that's not his favorite place to hang out (I cut his hair, so there's no chance for quid pro quo in this instance), but he does it because he does like doing anything that will make me happy or feel better about myself, and I do the same for him.
GIVING to the person you love is a good feeling, in keeping with the 'It's better to give than to receive' saying.
When you love someone, it's normal to want to make them happy, to serve them, and to put their needs/wants before your own (if there's any conflict of interests), is it not?
How can a couple be happily married if one or both is (to quote you) 'pi$$ed off,' or if one or both feel they're always compromising, instead of simply taking care of the other's wants/needs with love?
I'm interested in hearing how people feel about the give and take of it all.
Shalom,
Mahrie.
Mahrie, my husband and I occasionally go on road trips and while visiting some town, we hit the antique stores, and then I will go to the quilt stores and he'll hit the thrift stores. With our phones we can be in contact to get back together. He takes longer at the thrift stores, and I'll take a book and read in the car waiting, after I do a quick run through. He's happy, I'm happy, we made the day about both of us.
But he's also done parties and weddings for me, and I've sat through a number of wrestling shows he's been in. He's really doing parties for me, and I sat through wrestling for him. Luckily, after a while they stuck me with the music, so at least I had something to pass the time.
Marriage is a compromise, and the key is being willing to do so without keeping track because you know it evens out in the end. I compromised when we moved to California, and when we retire he's going to compromise and move back so we can be with my family whom I miss terribly. And we need to work well together because we run a business together.
I've seen couples who do keep track -- those marriages become one for you and one for me and one for you and one for me... and all of them I've seen like that have self destructed.
Eh.... a lot of these are really petty disagreements or arguments. What the hell happened to people working on their disagreements instead of just filing the divorce papers?
Sad, though, the number of people who can look back and see that ''moment'' yet they are still living with that same person years after.
Yes, you are so right. When love dies, a marriage becomes nothing more than a "business" arrangement. It is very hard and stressful to live with someone that you do not love. All those little things that love made you overlook end up staring you in the face every minute that you are together.
I think men and women are more similar than most people think, I think that often the one being served the divorce papers was in denial until those papers arrived.
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