Dating in the suburbs vs city (Chicago: apartments, living in, store)

[ToriaT]

Don't assume that people in the city don't have cars. Plenty of them do. They might not drive them that frequently though.

[prelude91]

Originally Posted by ToriaT

Don't assume that people in the city don't have cars. Plenty of them do. They might not drive them that frequently though.

The majority of people in Chicago own cars.

[emathias]

I've never dated in the suburbs, but from non-dating social interactions I'd say that the suburban people I know tend to have a stronger sense of familial obligation. But even that is a generalization, because there are plenty of exceptions to it in both ways.

In the suburbs, you need a car. Even though the majority of people in the city have a car - and among people over 30 who have careers the percentage is probably over 95% - the ownership of a car is a convenience. A lot of people I know don't drive if they're going out unless there's a clear advantage for doing so. Some do, but especially if they're drinkers they prefer a taxi or the CTA. If they're non-drinkers some will even bike.

For the people I've dated, it didn't matter if you owned a car as long as you treat them well, can hold up your end of a conversation, come up with interesting activities, and have decent hygiene. If you don't have a car and are always suggesting activities that require a two hour bus ride to the suburbs to do something boring, it's not the lack of a car that's the problem.

[TBideon]

I actually brought this up on Sunday to the girl I started dating. She has a car, lives downtown and makes a lot more money than I do, and I can't afford cabbing everywhere, so I've been looking for a balance. On Sunday we're taking the bus (her first time on one) to the west loop, and I honestly feel a little funny about it. She's very sweet about my car situation, but I'm a little neurotic still, probably because cabs really can break the budget and buses/trains are not exactly all that intimate.

One date at a time I guess.

[emathias]

Originally Posted by TBideon

I actually brought this up on Sunday to the girl I started dating. She has a car, lives downtown and makes a lot more money than I do, and I can't afford cabbing everywhere, so I've been looking for a balance. On Sunday we're taking the bus (her first time on one) to the west loop, and I honestly feel a little funny about it. She's very sweet about my car situation, but I'm a little neurotic still, probably because cabs really can break the budget and buses/trains are not exactly all that intimate.

One date at a time I guess.

When you have time, she's not in heels and it's not grossly humid, walking even longer-than-normal distances can become a romantic way to get around. Some streets are busy and loud and smelly, but even downtown there are routes that are quite nice and turn the trip into an enjoyable part of the dating experience. For me, I've often shown people routes they didn't even know existed, so they've gotten to see sides of the city so they not only have a fun time with me, but it broadens their perspective of the whole city.

[BRU67]

Originally Posted by jman07

Anyone notice a difference between girls/guys in the suburbs and in the city. It seems like I just don't click with girls in the city as much. I rarely find a girl who I like in the city, but the few times I meet girls from the suburbs, I can just tell a difference and there are things I like about them more. Can anyone else tell a difference? It almost makes me want to move to a good area like Naperville or the Four Lakes Complex in Lisles that is supposed to be good for young professionals. The only problem is that it seems like it would be harder to meet girls in the suburbs because most are confined to their social circles that they have had for years.

I will assume you are referring to the upper middle class portions of the City like Lincoln Park and Lakeview and not Englewood or North Lawndale. That being the case, the City will be a lot better for someone in your position to find your love connection. In the suburbs, yes, there is that fixed social circle thing. That exists because the singles there often grew up there, so they maintain what's comfortable, as people who do not move out of their parents' house tend to do. No one moves from Michigan to Lisle. They move from Michigan to Lincoln Park. You're also going to have a much higher % of married people in the suburbs than in the City.

Unsuccessful? Try activities that do not involve drinking and bars. Most people don't do well in that environment yet they keep trying it. Go figure. Try a running club, biking club, hiking club, knitting class, or a cooking class. Whatever it is that interests you, there's probably a club or class you can take. Do that.

[emathias]

Originally Posted by BRU67

...
Try a running club, biking club, hiking club, knitting class, or a cooking class. Whatever it is that interests you, there's probably a club or class you can take. Do that.

I'm taking a painting class because I want to learn to paint, but all the other students in it are (straight) women. This is the fourth class I've taken and none of the classes have had young, single, straight guys, but all have had at least a couple young, single, straight girls.

[BRU67]

Originally Posted by emathias

I'm taking a painting class because I want to learn to paint, but all the other students in it are (straight) women. This is the fourth class I've taken and none of the classes have had young, single, straight guys, but all have had at least a couple young, single, straight girls.

Running groups are like that too. The guys are all at the bars apparently. Great if you're a guy like me though!

[Lookout Kid]

Originally Posted by emathias

I've never dated in the suburbs, but from non-dating social interactions I'd say that the suburban people I know tend to have a stronger sense of familial obligation.

i.e. they live in their parents' basements.

[Lookout Kid]

Originally Posted by jman07

The only problem is that it seems like it would be harder to meet girls in the suburbs because most are confined to their social circles that they have had for years.

Or more likely, married with kids. Or divorced with kids.