Move out to California (Barstow, Lucerne: buying, professionals, cost)

[whatlifeforme]

i know people get tired of hearing it; but freedom is a big deal; losing it is a big play on the mind - a BIG PLAY on the mind.

a part of you that no matter what people say, won't heal.

[socaldream]

Real people are trying to give you real help here, but people can only help if you help yourself. Honestly, this is not a good place to seek medical/psychological help. If you are that troubled you may need professional assistance. If you don't, then take some of the suggestions, including mine, to heart, and get on with it. Dwelling on problems and the past only keeps you from moving forward. Take a deep breath, make a positive attitude, and move on with your life. Otherwise, you are just taking one step forward and two steps back your whole life. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Think about it.

Originally Posted by socaldream

Dude, look, you have to find the strength and peace and happiness within before you can go out into the world and create a better place. No state is going to wash away your troubles--they all follow you there--trust me, I know. You make the place, the place does not make you. If you can be happy where you are, you can be happy anywhere. I have wanted to move to Southern California for a long time, but haven't. It's always a bunch of "too's": too far, too expensive, too much traffic, too many earthquakes. Now, I would really like to move there with my wife, but we would move with a job in hand and money in the bank. We would move not with the intention of leaving our troubles behind but rather with embarking on a new journey. The funny thing is, even though we are tired of the place we live now, we are still happy. I have a decent job, awesome friends, play in a band, and am close to family. This despite local unemployment being over 15 percent. But, I have a college degree and some skills.

If you are committed to college, that should be your focus now. It will make you a more confident and well-rounded person. It will give you a sense of community and a support structure. And, the skills you develop there might just get you a job that you actually like. To me, it seems clear that the employed of the future NEED an education, unless you want to do jobs you do not like, or have none at all. Getting a bachelor's degree should be your focus first and foremost, and let nothing stand in the way of that. You don't need to move to get a degree, and in fact, moving might stand in the way of that goal. Get your education, get a job, and THEN move to where you want. You'll be glad you did!

[laysayfair]

Originally Posted by whatlifeforme

wow. awesome post. how do you feel about your sister having children? (i hope i am not offending you, or anyone else, in anyway). however, no one can deny this question. i mean my father basically told me i "was like cancer." yet, there are many people who refuse to believe they are sick, refuse to get treatment; i recognize my issues - have self diagnosed them, and am asking for help, but am concerned about school and living a normal life within my own control outside of treatment.

i am sick of threats saying - we will take - uh i have forgotten the term now - but essentially control of your life as if you were a minor, in which we can commit you at any time, for as long as we wish, and have all control of your life. your say, your feelings, and what you believe is true has no merit. whatever we say goes, period.

You sound like you are fighting the people who are trying to help you. Your thinking is skewed by your "problems". You cannot see he forest for the trees. It's not everyone else- it's you. They are not "threatening" you for the fun of it. They can see what you can't see and are trying to save you from yourself. They can only do so much if you make it impossibly difficult for them. You're not seeing clearly but you think you are. You can't "think" yourself out of this one. You'll just keep going around in a big circle and ending up right where you started.

[Woof]

You're not even close to involuntary commitment. Aim a gun at your head or stand on a tall bridge and threaten to jump off, then they will - but even then they'll give you a choice of voluntary or involuntary.

You wouldn't even be able to beg your way into a mental hospital, you're not bad enough at least as you have stated it. They only commit you if you are a clear and present danger to yourself or someone else specifically, they don't put people away for "thinking differently" or whatever.

[whatlifeforme]

Originally Posted by laysayfair

You sound like you are fighting the people who are trying to help you. Your thinking is skewed by your "problems". You cannot see he forest for the trees. It's not everyone else- it's you. They are not "threatening" you for the fun of it. They can see what you can't see and are trying to save you from yourself. They can only do so much if you make it impossibly difficult for them. You're not seeing clearly but you think you are. You can't "think" yourself out of this one. You'll just keep going around in a big circle and ending up right where you started.

any other advice? one correction, though, i know i am not seeing clearly.

[nullgeo]

Originally Posted by whatlifeforme

wow. awesome post. how do you feel about your sister having children? (i hope i am not offending you, or anyone else, in anyway). however, no one can deny this question. i mean my father basically told me i "was like cancer." yet, there are many people who refuse to believe they are sick, refuse to get treatment; i recognize my issues - have self diagnosed them, and am asking for help, but am concerned about school and living a normal life within my own control outside of treatment.

i am sick of threats saying - we will take - uh i have forgotten the term now - but essentially control of your life as if you were a minor, in which we can commit you at any time, for as long as we wish, and have all control of your life. your say, your feelings, and what you believe is true has no merit. whatever we say goes, period.

Originally Posted by whatlifeforme

i know people get tired of hearing it; but freedom is a big deal; losing it is a big play on the mind - a BIG PLAY on the mind.

a part of you that no matter what people say, won't heal.

I am sorry to hear of your family's limited viewpoint ... I would offer that you might consider that we do not create ourselves entirely, and your family is the product of their own genetic mix and environmental histories -- just as are you and I. Basically "sh8t" happens ... and the piles take many different shapes

My sister's children, my nieces, are quite remarkable individuals, imho ... and to some extent, some considerable extent, what is remarkable about them is a result of their mother -- including her challenges. My sister is an outstanding and successful artist -- and was and still is an absolutely stunning mother, full of love and lessons and honesty, all of which she acquired through her struggle. This is not to say that others so afflicted always have success ... this is to say: it happens, good things -- just like sh8t happens. Where will your struggles take you? Dunno. Best wishes, as I say.

Yes, loss of freedom is, for most, devastating.
Yes, parts of you won't heal.
I left a couple pieces of me behind in a war.
My first wife died in my arms.
I don't want to heal all of those parts.
I earned them and they are deep -- and they actually contribute to my life in bitter-sweetness. You have to decide what, if any of your troubles to embrace and share your life with -- and which to turn loose and eject.

You are not -- clearly -- schizophrenic -- one of the very hardest, if not THE hardest mental challenge to master. Dysthemia, the root of my current wife's negative mental history is one you can particularly get a grip on. Where you might fall in between with other diagnosis, I won't venture to guess in such a forum as this. I will only repeat that, however hard to find, there are possible solutions. It appears obvious that you do not have familial support, as my wife did / does not ... that is a crushing blow. I am not a Christian, however I often throw out a quote attributed to that figure: "... forgive them, they know not what they do ..." ... and that goes for all humans.

[Snort]

Nice post, Nullgeo! Sorry, I can't rep you again.

Whatlife, I also used to work on a suicide hotline. They'll take your call, even if you're not currently suicidal. We had our regulars and would talk to them. They only got cut off when one of those "important" calls came through.
And, they can steer you to low-cost or even possibly no-cost services. I don't know your community, so I can't tell you for certain, but at least you have a number you can always call that is free.

[laysayfair]

Originally Posted by whatlifeforme

any other advice? one correction, though, i know i am not seeing clearly.

Honey, they don't need your 3 pages of "self-diagnosis". You need some medication. Go to school and see your counselors and get them to refer you to a psychiatrist for medication. Can I ask how long you were on the Prozac?

[laysayfair]

Originally Posted by Snort

Nice post, Nullgeo! Sorry, I can't rep you again.

Whatlife, I also used to work on a suicide hotline. They'll take your call, even if you're not currently suicidal. We had our regulars and would talk to them. They only got cut off when one of those "important" calls came through.
And, they can steer you to low-cost or even possibly no-cost services. I don't know your community, so I can't tell you for certain, but at least you have a number you can always call that is free.

This is good advice.

[whatlifeforme]

Originally Posted by laysayfair

Honey, they don't need your 3 pages of "self-diagnosis". You need some medication. Go to school and see your counselors and get them to refer you to a psychiatrist for medication. Can I ask how long you were on the Prozac?

alright man wtf is that suppose to mean?