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Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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My Mom is now 93 and at the stage where we have had to make plans. In fact I'll be taking my truck up there in a week or two to clean out her apartment, since she's now in a full assisted living facility. She was a Catholic, taught catechism classes, and led the church choir for many years, but at about age 50 stopped going to church. When she passes, we have pre-paid for her cremation, and a place to bury the ashes in a small local cemetery where her husband's ashes lie. We will dig the hole and bury the ashes ourselves, buy and lay down a stone next to his, plant a few more flowers, and go to my brother's house nearby to have a meal. Her siblings are all gone already, as are most of her cousins, and two of her kids (there were 9 of us).
It will be the 7 of us left, our spouses, and her grand and great grandkids.
Right now for me what rises above the other options is to have my ashes spread at a spot one block from home on a cliff that slopes down to the sea. I like to sit there sometimes and just watch the waves wash over the edge. I like that idea, because it's a spot anyone can access, so if anyone wanted to visit that spot afterward, it would be easy to do.
I've also thought about choosing multiple spots, and I like the idea of leaving it to others to decide what to do with at least some of the ashes. Reminds me of reading about how Jerry Garcia's people spread his ashes off a boat just under the Golden Gate Bridge. Apparently the winds were strong and the ashes got blown back onto the boat, causing a few there to think, "isn't that just like Jerry wanting to have a little fun with us."
I’ve always been against this idea of being cremated and having your ashes spread, even though I know once your earthly body is dead, it stays dead.
Maybe it’s an old Catholic thing or ideology.
My late grandfather had his ashes scattered on the ocean, and one of my wife’s uncles was scattered in a secluded inlet, whilst another aunty had her ashes scattered at the school she taught at.
But as Mordant said, funerals and memorial services are for the living, not the dead.
But as Mordant said, funerals and memorial services are for the living, not the dead.
Speaking of being Catholic, who has been to an Irish-American funeral? Where everyone goes to a restaurant and has a big meal to celebrate and tell stories and jokes about the deceased?
Yes. It is becoming more common. Pretty much the same, just a lot of recollections, but no prayers, no body present and a lot of food and light alcoholic drinks.
Yes. It is becoming more common. Pretty much the same, just a lot of recollections, but no prayers, no body present and a lot of food and light alcoholic drinks.
When my bf died a few months ago, he left no preference whatsoever about any service, but since he was not religious in any traditional sense, we opted for a gathering at which photos of his life were on display and some of his favorite music was played.
It was quite nice. His ashes were at the front of the room with a good photo of him, and afterward we gathered at his sister's house for some food and drinks.
Speaking of being Catholic, who has been to an Irish-American funeral? Where everyone goes to a restaurant and has a big meal to celebrate and tell stories and jokes about the deceased?
Humor is healing.
That is a huge business in some areas near where I grew up. There is an enormous cemetery, a big Catholic Church, and a bunch of restaurants that advertise repasts.
Before I die I want to be abducted by angels of God.
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