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That last part isn't widely understood. It's assumed the fire is so intense that everything is reduced to ash by it. I'm guessing the bones are pretty brittle by then and not hard to crush, but it is a brutal thing to imagine just the same.
Another option is more of a natural burial without embalming or a casket. I wouldn't mind that myself -- there's such a cemetery not far from me -- but it does cost quite a bit more and seems more to demand some kind of ceremonial closure that is expensive in its own right. I will probably stick with cremation since there is likely to be a bare minimum of people who would even want a ceremony, and could probably do without.
My late / prior wife's ashes went to several places: (1) beneath an ironwood tree in our front yard; (2) beneath another ironwood tree in the public area across the street, on the theory that future owners of the house might uproot the tree in the yard; (2) 2,000 miles away in the meadow where she used to ride her horse as a child. That last allotment of her ashes I gave over to the choices of her extended family, and I think they made a good choice. In fact I offered to buy a marker so her ashes could be interred in a local cemetery if they wanted a place to visit. But they said they understood her wishes to be scattered and even though it was a little challenging to their personal custom and practice they decided to roll with it.
Yes, there is a type of natural burial where the body is placed in a burlap bag and buried beneath a newly-planted tree to feed the tree, but I don't think that's available anywhere in the USA. I know there are some natural cemeteries around.
I know you are upstate, and I didn't know there were natural burial sites there. Good to know. I will likely end up in that vicinity once my time is done here and I am kicked back south of the border.
Yes, there is a type of natural burial where the body is placed in a burlap bag and buried beneath a newly-planted tree to feed the tree, but I don't think that's available anywhere in the USA. I know there are some natural cemeteries around.
I know you are upstate, and I didn't know there were natural burial sites there. Good to know. I will likely end up in that vicinity once my time is done here and I am kicked back south of the border.
But yes, "ashes" are bone chips, not really ash.
The site I heard about did not involve one's corpse specifically nurturing a tree, it was the old-fashioned burial in a shroud in a shallow grave with a mound over you that gradually collapses to ground level. It's marketed as more eco-friendly and affordable as opposed to cremation (which can release heavy metals from tooth fillings and artificial joints and the like) or burial (which leaves such implants in the ground forever, in addition to all the chemicals involved in embalming). This is partly offset by the need to buy a larger burial plot since they can't be as close together due to the lack of containment in a vault. And as you say, not available everywhere.
The site I heard about did not involve one's corpse specifically nurturing a tree, it was the old-fashioned burial in a shroud in a shallow grave with a mound over you that gradually collapses to ground level. It's marketed as more eco-friendly and affordable as opposed to cremation (which can release heavy metals from tooth fillings and artificial joints and the like) or burial (which leaves such implants in the ground forever, in addition to all the chemicals involved in embalming). This is partly offset by the need to buy a larger burial plot since they can't be as close together due to the lack of containment in a vault. And as you say, not available everywhere.
^Yes, that is what I assumed you meant. I have heard of such cemeteries in North Carolina, but I didn't know there were any like that upstate.
A funeral where there was no talk about God or heaven.
I have. It's called a "Celebration of Life". I have attended two. They were dignified, moving, and afterwards, tons of fun.
One was at a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, the other, at the home of the deceased. Both were hurt by the religions growing up. So much so that they threw the baby out with the bathwater. One was molested and one was thrown out due to his God given sexuality.
As a universalist, I am sure that they are reconciled with God. In his infinite grace and love, He understands.
No, not a truly secular funeral per se.
A number have been at a “non-denominational” chapel at the cemetery.
But there was always a clergyman of some description.
As most of mine and my wife’s relatives are Catholics, they have usually been at a Catholic Church.
I went to what I think was meant to be a secular funeral, since the deceased (my father-in-law) was not religious or a believer in god, but I guess there was a Mormon man who would come to visit him in his old age, and he was asked to preside over the service. Held there where he was to be buried at the local cemetery, next to where his wife was buried. The Mormon man knew and acknowledged that my father-in-law was not a religious man, but of course that didn't keep him from including a good deal of religious talk during the ceremony, and that's fair I suppose. He and the church people provided a nice after-service lunch at the nearby Mormon church as well, at no cost to those attending (though I don't know if a donation to the church may not have been made by someone).
Ironically, the Mormon man was asked to keep everyone to just a few minutes of speaking so no one would go on too long and to keep the service from going on to long. Turns out the Mormon man went on so long himself, he hardly left time for anyone else to say anything. I was certainly not the only one who found that not only ironic but somewhat amusing looking back. Wasn't so amusing at the time.
I'm pretty well settled on cremation and that my ashes be spread at a spot at the water's edge that I like to visit fairly often. Just down the street from where we live. If nothing else to keep it simple and inexpensive for the loved ones I leave behind, and to give anyone a spot to visit if there is the want over time to remember our good times together. Pretty well settled, but there is part of me that feels something more of a marker is better. Like a plaque or tombstone or even some of these benches I see up and down the waters edge commemorating a person or couple's life. Something with or along with my wife makes me wonder what else might be better too. All of which has nothing to do with me thinking any of us will know better no matter what is done with our remains after we die. Mostly my thoughts are about those I leave behind, or at least I think that's mostly what I'm thinking.
My father passed away some years ago, and my mother is 92 years old. My two sisters and I have no real idea what we'll do with our father's ashes that my mother still has, or hers, because neither seems to have cared one way or the other. That and/or they just didn't like to talk about it. My sisters and I think that's mostly the reason when it comes to our parents. Which leaves it on us either way. I think I'd like to do better than that for our kids.
Mom and I share the same doctor. He told us that his father-in-law died recently, and as he wished, they had a party instead of a funeral service. Not only that, our doctor poured his father-in-law’s ashes into Crown Royal bottles.
I've been to funerals of non-religious people, but they're always held in a church, or in the chapel at the funeral home. And there is always a clergy person speaking. It's amazing how people usually want a pastor/priest when it comes to marrying or burying.
I've been to funerals of non-religious people, but they're always held in a church, or in the chapel at the funeral home. And there is always a clergy person speaking. It's amazing how people usually want a pastor/priest when it comes to marrying or burying.
Amazing how? Funerals are not for the dead, but for the living. When my wife died, he desire was to be cremated and her ashes scattered on the fields where she rode her horse as a child -- her happiest memory. But I knew her family had traditional Methodist expectations to have a grave or memorial site to visit, and in deference and respect to them, I offered them most of the ashes to inter as per their customs. Since they were not people of means, i even offered to pay for it. But upon reflection they decided to honor her wishes, even though it was challenging to them. The service was held at their church, presided over by their clergy, but it wasn't because I wanted or needed it personally. It was for the benefit of other mourners.
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