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A funeral where there was no talk about God or heaven.
As far as that, no, but even secular situations refer to both terms. In my 66 years, most of the funerals I've attended were secular, as in not officiated by a church. In my experience, most people do not find modern churches that intimate or comforting. In fact, they seem the opposite. Seculars may refer to their loved one going to God in heaven, but don't need a priest, pastor, or minister.
Sort of, there was no funeral but a cremation and a celebration of life, no depressing funeral necessary. I have been to a ton of funerals over the years, I think viewing dead bodies is more than morbid and depressing, even a little scary for those who have never seen one. And the religious mumbo-jumbo, it's all fine and dandy when they think the person who died was a Christian, but if not....they won't say 5 words and then chuck them in the grave.
Little story: I have made it no secret that I came out of fundamentalist Christianity and that I was indoctrinated. Here's a sampling of what I dealt with - my ex-stepmother's son died of cancer, he wasn't that old but I guess he never clamed he was "saved" (he was pretty autistic) and my Dad decided it was his duty to go to his funeral and argue with the pastor who was performing the graveside service.
He stood up in the middle of the ceremony and criticized the Pastor for claiming the poor dead guy was going to heaven and that it was dishonest to tell people that. He said the deceased was not saved and actually it was his fault that he died because he didn't live his life correctly and religiously. I know, it sounds too bizarre to be true. I still can't believe it.
It was unbelievably embarrassing and I wasn't even there but my sister told me about it. It wasn't the first time he had stood up in the middle of church services and argued with the Pastor. But this was a first with the funeral.
Wow that is an epic story.
My wife has a shirt-tail relation, 3rd cousin or something like that, who is a hellfire and brimstone preacher on college campuses. He somehow talked her grandfather into officiating at grandma's funeral. He turned it into a giant altar call, not exactly claiming grandma was burning in hell, but not exactly claiming she wasn't. Later when grandpa was in the old folk's home the preacher came to talk to him about his immortal soul and after that the front desk had strict instructions not to allow him to visit for any reason.
Grandpa was a former judge and FBI agent, so it was kind of comical, that this hayseed preacher somehow came to be fulminating at a funeral full of elites. Comical if it had not been so self-absorbed and insensitive, haranguing a grieving family about their souls.
My wife has a shirt-tail relation, 3rd cousin or something like that, who is a hellfire and brimstone preacher on college campuses. He somehow talked her grandfather into officiating at grandma's funeral. He turned it into a giant altar call, not exactly claiming grandma was burning in hell, but not exactly claiming she wasn't. Later when grandpa was in the old folk's home the preacher came to talk to him about his immortal soul and after that the front desk had strict instructions not to allow him to visit for any reason.
Grandpa was a former judge and FBI agent, so it was kind of comical, that this hayseed preacher somehow came to be fulminating at a funeral full of elites. Comical if it had not been so self-absorbed and insensitive, haranguing a grieving family about their souls.
LOL I hear ya about the alter calls, I never wanted to do that. It's so bizarre. Grandpa sounds kinda cool! I know, very insensitive and just plain out of touch behavior. I don't understand the driving force behind that mindset, I think a lot of times they are really delusional in their thinking that it is their mission, and their mission alone, to "save" the world.
Man, how can people live with themselves when they cause so much anguish and pain? Very narcissistic. Oh my Dad was a wannabe preacher, he even started a church in our back yard. He was about as qualified as a meth head.
Isn’t burying itself is sort of a religious act, mostly originated from the Abrahamic faiths?
And what did the peoples of Europe, Africa, Australia or the Americas do wirh their corpes? Some buried, some cremetated some buried in the sea. The body needs to be disposed of.
The Abrahamuc faiths also did not origibate marriages, children, morality or sex.
Of course wirh ancient people their lives were run by religious rites. Probably so were the living in houses, wearing clothes gathering of food etc. Does not mean they continue to be religious ceremonies moving into a new hime or goung hunting or grocery shopping.
Isn’t burying itself is sort of a religious act, mostly originated from the Abrahamic faiths?
No, people were buried long before there were Abrahamic faiths, and they were buried long before Christianity came to their neck of the woods.
In archeology, there is a well-known burial of a Neanderthal in Shanidar Cave in Iraq that took place 60,000 years ago, notable because there are fossilized pollen grains alongside the body. In other words, the person was buried with flowers. The pollen could be identified as coming from plants that are still in use today in the area for medicinal purposes.
Then there are all the Viking burials, sometimes in their ships and identifiable by the mounds, such as have been excavated at Sutton Hoo in England. Some Native Americans were buried in the ground long before Europeans and their Abrahamic religion arrived on this side of the planet.
It seems that all over the world, disposing of dead bodies by putting them in the ground was a common-sense practice.
LOL I hear ya about the alter calls, I never wanted to do that. It's so bizarre. Grandpa sounds kinda cool! I know, very insensitive and just plain out of touch behavior. I don't understand the driving force behind that mindset, I think a lot of times they are really delusional in their thinking that it is their mission, and their mission alone, to "save" the world.
Man, how can people live with themselves when they cause so much anguish and pain? Very narcissistic. Oh my Dad was a wannabe preacher, he even started a church in our back yard. He was about as qualified as a meth head.
This preacher is actually pretty bright, but an example of wasted intelligence. Intelligence is not wisdom or empathy. I liken it to the clock speed of a computer. If the software running is garbage then you just do crap faster, it's not really helpful.
Actually, the GIGO principle (Garbage In, Garbage Out) also applies here because if your ideology is founded on fundamental errors then everything past that point is corrupted, and being smart or even compassionate isn't much help unless it eventually causes you to see the abstraction leaking and start to question it. But this guy's entire ego is wrapped up in the right(eous)ness of his life's work, so I very much doubt that is going to happen.
Grandpa was indeed pretty cool. He lived to be 102. Like all centenarians I have known, he was very laid back and not much perturbed him. On the occasion of his 100th birthday party though he did say to my wife, "Isn't there some pill I can take or something? Being this old is not what it's cracked up to be, kid. Everyone I've known or loved is dead. The food in this place is terrible. My roommate babbles day and night. Don't live to be 100, okay?"
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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My most recent experiences have not been what I would call funerals, but more like memorials. With the high cost of funerals now my relatives seem to be doing cremations, and a memorial at either someone's home or a park, with attendees invited to speak and tell stories of the deceased, then a potluck after. That has been the case for my last 4 relatives that have passed.
None of them had any mention of God or heaven, just shared stories about interesting or fun times with the person. One of those, my mother-in-law, passed in 2013. We only paid for for the cremation, another $3,000 for burial in the plot that she already owned in a cemetery next to her late husband, and a drive to take the ashes back to California. We had to get a permit to transport her ashes over state lines. With only 2 daughters and the only other living relative a cousin in Nevada we did no ceremony of any kind.
The night before my brother died, a Catholic priest came in to give last rites to the man in the other bed.
My brother was an atheist, but his daughter, who was 21 when he died, was Catholic.
He asked my brother if he would like to take Communion, and my brother said, "I am not Catholic." The priest asked him if he was Christian, and he said, "Yes." My oldest sister was with him, as was my mother, and my sister laughed and said, "No, you aren't." He just ignored her and took Communion and let the priest pray over him.
I believe he did that for our mother, who was Christian but not Catholic but didn't care about the divisions too much, and his daughter, who heard about it the next day when he died.
Funerals are for the living. Whatever floats their boat, as far as I'm concerned.
I told my wife, if she wants to stuff me, stick me in the corner, and throw darts at me when I'm gone, then so be it.
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