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Everyone is ripping on your poll but I don't read it the way they do...you are asking questions which is not a bad thing. The part after "...." is in question marks so you have to read it as:
If you abstained have there been any blessing? (which implies the possibility that there are not)
If you did not abstain have there been any ramifications? (which implies the possibility that there are not)
But seriously...if the marriage is based mainly on sex, the relationship will probably go downhill pretty fast when the couple starts aging.
Guess you don't know many old couples or even the many , many people in this world that aren't what supposedly is physically attractive.
It would be a strange world if only the 'beautiful people' were having sex.
That's extremely rare though!! Studies show around 3%-14% of adult Americans are virgins when they marry. Among very devote religious people that number climbs to around 20%-30% who wait until marriage.
Many people think that having sexual activity before marriage is something new, but even back in 1950 when they did studies they found only 13% of people waited until marriage to be sexual.
I'm 35 years old and actually don't know anyone among my friends who waited until marriage for sex. They're all wonderful people, many of them quite religious, and sex before marriage was a complete non-issue between them and their partner (as they had all done it).
And please note that I did not make the blanket claim that, "If you have sex before marriage you are DOOMED!! Your life will be RUINED!!" I pointed out my own family as an example, but that is hardly scientific. Pointing to scientific studies is better. They're just better at doing it right. But I'm a big believer in overcoming bad things in life. Anyone can choose to have a successful marriage regardless of their past. It is simply a matter of hard work and determination.
There is a large enough percentage of the population that waited for marriage for social scientists to be able to run a side-by-side comparison. The studies have found that the percentage chance for a whole range of bad outcomes increases. They also found that women are significantly more impacted than men -- which is absolutely unfair. What the studies seem to show us is that premarital abstinence leads to a lot of good consequences: Greater satisfaction with sex, greater sense of well being, a more positive outlook on their marriage relationship, greater likelihood to stay in school and complete a college degree, greater average income as a result, a significantly lower incidence of suicidal behavior among girls and women, and the list goes on from there. It's a simple matter of making a choice: Can you overcome the temptation to engage in sex before marriage? Obviously, most Americans do not.
It's a bit like alcohol consumption. We tend to assume that all of us drink ... or have at least tried it at some point. But then there are devout Muslims and Mormons who believe imbibing alcohol is sinful. This gives us a large group of people who have never had a drop of alcohol in their lives -- so now you can do side-by-side studies on health and wellness and that sort of stuff.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago60614
I suppose as far as "waiting until marriage" based on biblical reasons it's also important to understand that during biblical times girls were normally married off upon reaching puberty. The average age for a girl to be married was age 12-14 for girls and age 14 for boys. So it would make more rational sense that of course you are going to be marrying as virgins and be "pure".
Certainly in biblical times no girl was sitting around waiting into her TWENTIES as a virgin. Marriage and losing your virginity went hand in hand because you were to be married right at the age where you're physically capable of having sex.
This was true a lot more recently than Biblical times. Within US history, girls were regularly married off at 12, 13 and 14 and nobody saw it as a bad thing. In fact, the law is still on the books in Massachusetts allowing boys and girls to marry at the age of 12 as long as they have parental consent. Boys have always been different of course. They were always expected to be established in a profession sufficient to support a wife and family before marrying. Still, it was not uncommon for a boy to marry when he was 15 or 16 years old.
We live in a different world today. Everything changed. Now, the culturally acceptable age of marriage seems to be about 25 years old on average. Waiting and abstaining for 10+ extra years is something that nobody was expected to do before. But the studies I'm referencing were not done 150 years ago. They were all done within the last 30 years in our present culture. Those studies give us something tangible telling us that waiting to have sex until marriage -- while it is a lot more difficult now -- is well worth the sacrifice. The social stigma in my high school days where "virgin" was a derogatory term needs to end. Belittling folks who choose to wait needs to stop across the board now that their choice has tangible proven positive results.
I would like to hear from those who have abstained from sex till after their marriage and if God has blessed you with children and a long and happy marriage.
On the other hand, those who had willful sex with different partners and than finally found a mate to marry.
How would you describe your married relationship, as being blessed or countered difficulties because of not having abstained?
I do want to state that God looks at the heart and not the action, but keep in mind, that there is a thing called repentance.
This post is not in condemning any actions, but rather in seeking out the works of God in both instances.
Blessings, AJ
God doesn't promise to bless anyone based on their abstinence.
In any event, how would you quantify it? How would you know that God has blessed someone or not? I have known Christians that kept themselves pure and suffered through 5 miscarriages, and I've known other couples that lived together for years before marrying and they have 12 kids.
I would like to hear from those who have abstained from sex till after their marriage and if God has blessed you with children and a long and happy marriage.
On the other hand, those who had willful sex with different partners and than finally found a mate to marry.
How would you describe your married relationship, as being blessed or countered difficulties because of not having abstained?
I do want to state that God looks at the heart and not the action, but keep in mind, that there is a thing called repentance.
This post is not in condemning any actions, but rather in seeking out the works of God in both instances.
Blessings, AJ
I was a normal kid growing up, had several girlfriends,we had much sex, finally met the woman of my dreams,we got married had 2 beautiful daughters and have been happily married for 35 years now.
Are you implying that if i were into religion i would merit some form of punishment for this lifestyle and i would now need to repent ?Think i'll remain a non believer in religion.
Option 1: Yes I agree
Option 2: No, I'm wrong and I don't agree
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