Minnesota ICE - distant passive aggressiveness? (Virginia, Ada: transplants, 2014, rent)

[treemoni]

Originally Posted by Umbria

I bought a house in S Mpls and the only neighbor that was ever friendly was an elderly next door neighbor.

Elderly neighbors are human home invasion systems. Never did I feel so unsafe living alone as I did in the Twin Cities. The only time that came close was when I lived in an apartment building that was fairly isolated due to location. I rarely saw my neighbors. We kept to ourselves, buy I never got the impression that they were unfriendly. In MN there was this strange phenomenon where my neighbors were wildly curious about me as though I was a being from another planet, but I had no doubt that if anything ever happened to me, they would tell the police they didn't see or hear anything and knew nothing. That's a very unsettling feeling and one of the major reasons I had to leave. In Illinois, I was at least comforted by the fact that one of my elderly neighbors would be on the horn if they didn't see me for a while.

[Umbria]

Originally Posted by treemoni

Elderly neighbors are human home invasion systems. Never did I feel so unsafe living alone as I did in the Twin Cities. The only time that came close was when I lived in an apartment building that was fairly isolated due to location. I rarely saw my neighbors. We kept to ourselves, buy I never got the impression that they were unfriendly. In MN there was this strange phenomenon where my neighbors were wildly curious about me as though I was a being from another planet, but I had no doubt that if anything ever happened to me, they would tell the police they didn't see or hear anything and knew nothing. That's a very unsettling feeling and one of the major reasons I had to leave. In Illinois, I was at least comforted by the fact that one of my elderly neighbors would be on the horn if they didn't see me for a while.

I live alone and have never felt unsafe here. I will say that times are changing - the theft crime has gone way up - I'm on nextdoor.com for this area and there are constant reports for car break-ins and some home break-ins. The new home security systems are wonderful - we all get to see the tapes of the crooks that are turned over to the police.

My elderly neighbor in S Mpls was a very interesting woman. She & her husband were from Latvia and fled the war. She remained my friend until her death many years after I returned from Denver even though we were no longer neighbors. My ex bought the house and she let me know when he was screwing up (as a neighbor) so I'd let him know when it was time to shape up She was a very smart woman. Best neighbor I ever had - taught me how to become a flower gardener.

[Pincho-toot]

Originally Posted by Umbria

I've lived in MN for over 60 years so I think can speak with some personal experience.

I bought a house in S Mpls and the only neighbor that was ever friendly was an elderly next door neighbor. The other neighbor gave me a brief thank you when I had called the fire department when smoke was coming out of his windows while they were gone - they left a pot on the stove. 9 years there.

I moved to Denver and people all came to welcome me within a short time after I arrived - they were from TX, WA China, NY and various other places.

I moved back to Mpls and I lived here 7 years before any neighbor spoke - only then because she was cornered outside and had no choice.

There is a problem here.

I live in Saint Paul since summer 2017 and I have already met and know plenty of my neighbours. Just the other day one of them gave me a homemade pie. (She gave me honey over the summer), another one fixed my lawn mower twice, another one invited me to her New Years party last year when I didn't have any concrete plans. All of these native Minnesotans with the accents to prove it. Sounds like you are describing a problem specific to either Minneapolis or your neighbourhood.

Meanwhile in my hometown (Miami) we were close with our neighbours until the mid-2000s. Then there was a shift and we barely spoke anymore. All of my family in Miami reports that they dont know their neighbours anymore.

[LeTraveler]

Originally Posted by Thoreau424

Anyone who has run into this passive-aggressiveness - and is not used to it - appreciates it brought out into the open for discussion. I've seen a lot of that in Colorado, but never encountered it before in my previous coastal location.

Even trying to draw attention to it brings out odd reactions.

I talk about it with my Minnesotan friends. I think that they appreciate people being open and direct, and agree that it is an issue in MN. At the same time they themselves continue to be this way; it may be difficult for them to be otherwise.

Everyone here knows I'm from the East Coast, and few of my family or friends are brash or boors, just direct. I'm not getting why people seem to present the only two options in life as a) hide your feelings and pretend everything is fine or b) verbally beat someone over the head when you disagree?

As far as being friendly with neighbors, most of mine are friendly. It took some time and multiple occasions to get past friendly hello, then discussions about weather and sports, but I can say I know a little about who they are. I think some newcomers would have given up in the early stages but it doesn't bother me to reach out to people.

[LeTraveler]

Originally Posted by BadgerFilms

I live in Saint Paul since summer 2017 and I have already met and know plenty of my neighbours [...] Sounds like you are describing a problem specific to either Minneapolis or your neighbourhood.

I love Minneapolis but in my view, on the average, St. Paul is more down-to-earth than Minneapolis. I could be wrong, but that's my experience in my short time here.

[demtion35]

My neighbor came over with his ladder and helped me for several hours cut down some large trees at my place. Now it should be mentioned we are both from Northern Minnesota, though.

[my54ford]

Originally Posted by Glenfield

The fact that people from the coasts can’t accept that everyone doesn’t think and act like them reflects a provincialism masked as sophistication.

Using this!!!!!

[my54ford]

Originally Posted by demtion35

My neighbor came over with his ladder and helped me for several hours cut down some large trees at my place. Now it should be mentioned we are both from Northern Minnesota, though.

I see the same thing down here in Southern Mn I've been in my place for 4 years now and while not exactly Family close we do interact with each other. i.e. inform when we are gone/pick up mail etc. loan equipment and I help move snow. ( have a plow truck) free I might add. Neighbor has a nice spliter that had a seized engine which I replaced and now it a "joint owned asset" One of my Neighbors hates me yes but My dog killed their little yipping poodle looking mutt 3 years ago so there's that and the two I get along are Vets/active MNG so we do have things in common I guess.....

[jennifat]

Originally Posted by my54ford

My dog killed their little yipping poodle looking mutt 3 years ago so there's that

The fact that your dog is killing your neighbors' pets is probably not something you should be proud of...

[LeTraveler]

Originally Posted by Glenfield

The fact that people from the coasts can’t accept that everyone doesn’t think and act like them reflects a provincialism masked as sophistication.

Originally Posted by my54ford

Using this!!!!!

You can, but it's all opinion. And I thought people here liked facts.

I did my research: coastal states top every study I found on American openness to different ideas and experience. Including one 13 year long study...Guess one region that tended to cluster at the end?