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Old 12-21-2007, 02:19 PM
 
539 posts, read 1,925,822 times
Reputation: 436

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Quote:
Originally Posted by WannaBeinBoston View Post
I lived here for 15 years and am a transplant from the coast. The quote that sticks in my mind that describes befriending native Minnesotans is " their dance card is full ". Most have their cliques and you are always an outsider.


Is it really like that? I've been considering a move to Minneapolis. I always figured that almost anywhere in this country, people in rural and possibly also suburban areas are standoffish and unfriendly, or at least uninterested in making new friends, whereas people in urban areas are generally welcome to the idea of having new friends and meeting new people. Are the Twin Cities really this clique-ish? You're not the only person who i've heard say this. I figured it wouldn't be because it's major metropolitan area, and that really doesn't make sense to me how a big city could be that way. I could understand a small town, but not a big city.



Before I moved to Chicago, I lived in Alabama. When I lived down there, there was a girl at my job who was from Wisconsin. I never really cared for her, and her personality seems to match the descriptions of "Minnesota Nice" that I've read about here. She was very helpful and always more than willing to do whatever work needed to be done - and yet I thought of her as being a nasty person (attitude-wise, not in terms of hygeine or whatever). And yet as long as you didn't **** her off, she was extremely polite. But she wasn't friendly, like you couldn't just come up and strike up conversation with her or whatever. She had no interest in being friendly with anyone. If Minneapolis is a city full of people like her, I'll think twice about moving up there.


Strangely enough, I don't think I've come into contact with too many people like that up here in Chicago, even though I'm a lot closer to Wisconsin and Minnesota than I was back in Alabama.

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Old 12-21-2007, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Everett, Wa
601 posts, read 1,905,354 times
Reputation: 678
Quote:
Originally Posted by kuan View Post
Just imagine if you were the child of a German and Scandinavian union.
My mom is German, my father is Swedish....I was born in Germany. So?
 
Old 12-23-2007, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
987 posts, read 3,822,304 times
Reputation: 372
Quote:
Originally Posted by daytripper View Post
My mom is German, my father is Swedish....I was born in Germany. So?
Ooh... lutefisk and sauerkraut for Christmas dinner. Just eat the meatballs and spaetzle.
 
Old 12-23-2007, 10:26 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,985 times
Reputation: 346
Moving 123456 said it exactly as it is in Minnesota. People will help you, especially, like yesterday, when my son got stuck in a snow embankment. 3 people helped. But....they hate directness, will avoid it at any cost (will smile if you step on their foot), hesitant to disagree on an opinion....rather remote...very tied to family but not anyone else.....have a live and let live - leave alone - manner....polite, for the most part....locked into their state and not too interested in anything outside....not demonstratively warm (that Scandinavian stoicism)....

This is very general, you understand, but I have met so many like this.
 
Old 12-23-2007, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Maryland's 6th District.
8,357 posts, read 25,260,617 times
Reputation: 6541
The topic that never dies.....

Every state has people who will help you out in a bind, as well as people who won't. That is nothing special to Minnesota.

Minnesota Nice is basically a form of social conduct in which people say hi to you, make small talk, or even jump start your car; not because they want to (yes some do), but because they have been conditioned to socially do so (hence passive-aggressive).

It is also being polite for the sake of not being confrontational, no matter how the person really feels about the situation (hence more passive-aggressiveness).

A Minnesotan will always back down if found in a confrontation (even if they are right and everyone knows it) simply to avoid an argument or possibly hurting others feelings. Instead of saying what is their mind to your face, they will then go around to their friends and talk about what an as*hole you are. Passive aggressive?
 
Old 12-23-2007, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Looking East and hoping!
28,227 posts, read 21,868,832 times
Reputation: 2000000995
I've found that even when you think you've finally been "accepted"-you're not. People are helpful but their space is their space.
 
Old 12-23-2007, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,988,985 times
Reputation: 346
Yes, K-Luv, you are right, so much backstabbing that takes you off guard wondering what you did, especially in the workplace.
 
Old 12-24-2007, 12:56 AM
 
539 posts, read 1,925,822 times
Reputation: 436
Is Minnesota Nice similar to southern hosptality?
 
Old 12-24-2007, 05:43 AM
 
7 posts, read 20,019 times
Reputation: 10
Default Almost too nice

The terms sweet, innocent, gullable come to mind.

Generally speaking, minnesotans do not like to ruffle anyones feathers. They want you to feel comfortable and welcome you with a smile

Moderator cut: advertising

Last edited by sablebaby; 12-24-2007 at 02:58 PM.. Reason: no advertising allowed
 
Old 12-26-2007, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Chicago Il
81 posts, read 296,069 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv View Post
The topic that never dies.....

Every state has people who will help you out in a bind, as well as people who won't. That is nothing special to Minnesota.

Minnesota Nice is basically a form of social conduct in which people say hi to you, make small talk, or even jump start your car; not because they want to (yes some do), but because they have been conditioned to socially do so (hence passive-aggressive).

It is also being polite for the sake of not being confrontational, no matter how the person really feels about the situation (hence more passive-aggressiveness).

A Minnesotan will always back down if found in a confrontation (even if they are right and everyone knows it) simply to avoid an argument or possibly hurting others feelings. Instead of saying what is their mind to your face, they will then go around to their friends and talk about what an as*hole you are. Passive aggressive?
Being socially conditioned does not necessitate passive-aggressive.
There's nothing wrong with politeness to avoid and unnecessary arguement and there's nothing wrong with not being a converstional aggressor.
A Minnesotan will always backdown? Sweeping generalizations doesn't do any discussion any good. Minnesotans are no more timid about voicing their opinion than anywhere else I've lived or visited, the real difference is that they aren't rude and in your face about it. Maybe thats Minnesota Nice for you.
And anyone saying that people don't talk behind each others backs in other states CLEARLY hasn't worked in more than one state. People aren't that different from area to area. Minnesota Nice may not be as prominent as lead to believe but to come back with the how apparently terrible the Minnesota mindset is, is even more inaccurate.

Last edited by kg1701d; 12-26-2007 at 10:42 AM.. Reason: Additions
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