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Not to be nosy, but you have a military pension, correct?
Yes, I served 20+ years in the US Navy.
My Navy pension puts us straddling the 'Poverty line'.
We qualify for Food Stamps / EBT, we have never used that benefit. A few years ago, we looked into it out of curiosity it came to $9 of benefit per month.
As an organic gardener we routinely donate over $200 of veggies to the local food pantry each month. I fail to see the purpose of $9 of Food Stamps a month, in a state up to its eyeballs in fresh produce.
Quote:
... VT is trying to do the same thing - not tax those pensions. Everything else is fair game. Social security is taxed, too, and some poor people out here live on that alone.
We have friends who are surviving on SS alone in the $800 a month range. It is tight.
Maine's previous governor made a big deal out of signing a law that exempted all military pensions. But I noted that whatever your income is from, it must be over a certain tripwire before it qualifies to become taxed. My Navy pension is NOT large enough to be taxed, in either case.
I think that previous governor did it for the political fanfare without honestly having any impact on state revenue.
Here in Maine SS income is also tax-exempt [but again SS by itself is NOT going to be a large enough income to even approach the tripwire for being taxed].
In the past, whenever I vacationed in Maine, I found Mainers to be friendly and accommodating. Indeed, since having moved here, I find most people I encounter in my daily life to be personable, helpful, and friendly - neighbors, sales/service people, library staff, the folks at my town hall, people holding yard sales, etc. Therefore, I wouldn't consider Maine to be unfriendly, per se. However, all these nice people are basically just acquaintances or in the periphery of my life.
After three years living here, I've yet to make any friends. To me, friends would be people I confide in, invite to my home, go out and do things with, and so on. I was talking about this with my mechanic, who grew up here, and even he told me, "No Mainer will ever just drop by and ring your doorbell to see how you're doing or ask to get together." Now, we weren't talking about people literally ringing my doorbell. Rather, what he meant was Mainers won't make the effort or go out of their way to invite new people into their circle of friends.
Of course, I had read about the reputation Mainers have of keeping to themselves before I moved here, but I never expected it to be as much of a barrier against making friends as it has turned out to be. I'm shy in certain circumstances but mostly a friendly person. I'll strike up a conversation with someone while waiting in line at the bank, or walk over to my neighbors when I see them outside to say hello and ask how they're doing. I've attended events and joined hobby-based groups since moving here and I'm always the one to initiate a conversation with someone. Don't get me wrong - I'm not pushy or intrusive. I can read people pretty well. If I smile at someone and get no acknowledgement, I'm not going to insinuate myself into their personal space. And yet I've had the experience many times that the Mainers with whom I am conversing will end the conversation somewhat abruptly and almost run away, as if the last two or three minutes talking to me was torture. That may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but it's how I feel after they leave. I guess I could say it hurts a little bit.
So, how can I make friends here? For those of you who are native Mainers, what can an outsider do to win your affection and be invited into your circle? For other transplants like me, have you been able to make friends and, if so, how? What's the secret?
Find friends in the same cohort as you are - people from away who are looking to find new friends.(not everyone does even among them)
Most local people in every state are established with their own circle of friends they grew up with, or went to college or worked in the same place or hunt, fish together, etc.
Even their extended family or family of their friends may still live nearby.
It is just not enough time to socialize with the ones already in person’s life…
In the words of Audrey Hepburn character from the movie “Charade”
“I already know too many people and unless one of them dies I can’t possibly meet anyone else”
People around you are not there for your entertainment, social inclusion, etc.
People who move somewhere should expect to have some level of isolation or superficial connections - just a consequence and a part of life in a new location.
It could certainly happen - to make good friends - but consider yourself lucky if it does.
Maybe you are not that interesting? Maybe you are weird to the locals? Maybe they just busy with their life to include another person?
Maybe they just don’t like you or don’t trust you?
Who knows. I am not the one to judge them or blame them or assign superficial characteristics that they are “unfriendly” and the like…
In the past, whenever I vacationed in Maine, I found Mainers to be friendly and accommodating. Indeed, since having moved here, I find most people I encounter in my daily life to be personable, helpful, and friendly - neighbors, sales/service people, library staff, the folks at my town hall, people holding yard sales, etc. Therefore, I wouldn't consider Maine to be unfriendly, per se. However, all these nice people are basically just acquaintances or in the periphery of my life.
After three years living here, I've yet to make any friends. To me, friends would be people I confide in, invite to my home, go out and do things with, and so on. I was talking about this with my mechanic, who grew up here, and even he told me, "No Mainer will ever just drop by and ring your doorbell to see how you're doing or ask to get together." Now, we weren't talking about people literally ringing my doorbell. Rather, what he meant was Mainers won't make the effort or go out of their way to invite new people into their circle of friends.
Of course, I had read about the reputation Mainers have of keeping to themselves before I moved here, but I never expected it to be as much of a barrier against making friends as it has turned out to be. I'm shy in certain circumstances but mostly a friendly person. I'll strike up a conversation with someone while waiting in line at the bank, or walk over to my neighbors when I see them outside to say hello and ask how they're doing. I've attended events and joined hobby-based groups since moving here and I'm always the one to initiate a conversation with someone. Don't get me wrong - I'm not pushy or intrusive. I can read people pretty well. If I smile at someone and get no acknowledgement, I'm not going to insinuate myself into their personal space. And yet I've had the experience many times that the Mainers with whom I am conversing will end the conversation somewhat abruptly and almost run away, as if the last two or three minutes talking to me was torture. That may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but it's how I feel after they leave. I guess I could say it hurts a little bit.
So, how can I make friends here? For those of you who are native Mainers, what can an outsider do to win your affection and be invited into your circle? For other transplants like me, have you been able to make friends and, if so, how? What's the secret?
I think this post is pretty much true. To find some friends i'd say start with neighbors, go to church bazaars and local "suppers," local businesses, markets, fairs, festivals - and i guess just talk to people there. (There is a group that was started in my area by those from away who get together for coffee and meals, as they were feeling the same way. If you are on FB maybe you could try starting one there.)
I moved here 5 years ago from NJ - and the friends i've made are "from away" also. I actually don't care about having friends, but i am not an UNfriendly person either. I just pretty much stay to myself as for going out, etc.
My guy is very friendly and within the first year i'd say he knew all the neighbors and pretty much everyone in the stores and businesses. He has a heavy NYC accent and still seems to be accepted; i guess because he's very outgoing. I belong to a Washington County FB page, where it's pretty obvious that most on there don't care much for those from away. They make it clear. Especially those from NY, MA, NJ, and CT. Although i'm sure you could add other states in there.
I have a small shop next to my house where i sell books, antiques, unique items - and in the Spring we sell seedlings. I would say that 9 out of 10 customers i've had are people from away who have moved here. I don't know how the locals can sense i'm not a Mainer but i guess they can!
Find friends in the same cohort as you are - people from away who are looking to find new friends.(not everyone does even among them)
Most local people in every state are established with their own circle of friends they grew up with, or went to college or worked in the same place or hunt, fish together, etc.
Even their extended family or family of their friends may still live nearby.
It is just not enough time to socialize with the ones already in person’s life…
In the words of Audrey Hepburn character from the movie “Charade”
“I already know too many people and unless one of them dies I can’t possibly meet anyone else”
People around you are not there for your entertainment, social inclusion, etc.
People who move somewhere should expect to have some level of isolation or superficial connections - just a consequence and a part of life in a new location.
It could certainly happen - to make good friends - but consider yourself lucky if it does.
Maybe you are not that interesting? Maybe you are weird to the locals? Maybe they just busy with their life to include another person?
Maybe they just don’t like you or don’t trust you?
Who knows. I am not the one to judge them or blame them or assign superficial characteristics that they are “unfriendly” and the like…
I think this post is pretty much true. To find some friends i'd say start with neighbors, go to church bazaars and local "suppers," local businesses, markets, fairs, festivals - and i guess just talk to people there. (There is a group that was started in my area by those from away who get together for coffee and meals, as they were feeling the same way. If you are on FB maybe you could try starting one there.)
I have a small shop next to my house where i sell books, antiques, unique items - and in the Spring we sell seedlings. I would say that 9 out of 10 customers i've had are people from away who have moved here. I don't know how the locals can sense i'm not a Mainer but i guess they can!
Hey JB I had no idea about your shop. I may have gone past it and not thought twice but send me the address and I'll stop by next month when I'm back in the area. Thanks!
The state with the oldest median age of population [ie the highest percentage of retirees] remains Maine.
And then this article that claims 'Retirees Are Not Welcome'?
Because some will drive up the prices of housing - like what happened to the "sky is falling" crowd from the west coast - who descended on WY, ID & MT like hungry wolves $800k to $1Mn homes don't help the locals that much, when they bring in their own contractors and don't hire locals. All it does is raise their taxes and punish them - when they were there first. So, I've never been in favour of moving to another state and buying. Renting sure. But if there's nothing to rent - why bother.
I think this post is pretty much true. To find some friends i'd say start with neighbors, go to church bazaars and local "suppers," local businesses, markets, fairs, festivals - and i guess just talk to people there. (There is a group that was started in my area by those from away who get together for coffee and meals, as they were feeling the same way. If you are on FB maybe you could try starting one there.)
I moved here 5 years ago from NJ - and the friends i've made are "from away" also. I actually don't care about having friends, but i am not an UNfriendly person either. I just pretty much stay to myself as for going out, etc.
My guy is very friendly and within the first year i'd say he knew all the neighbors and pretty much everyone in the stores and businesses. He has a heavy NYC accent and still seems to be accepted; i guess because he's very outgoing. I belong to a Washington County FB page, where it's pretty obvious that most on there don't care much for those from away. They make it clear. Especially those from NY, MA, NJ, and CT. Although i'm sure you could add other states in there.
I have a small shop next to my house where i sell books, antiques, unique items - and in the Spring we sell seedlings. I would say that 9 out of 10 customers i've had are people from away who have moved here. I don't know how the locals can sense i'm not a Mainer but i guess they can!
I have a small shop next to my house where i sell books, antiques, unique items - and in the Spring we sell seedlings. I would say that 9 out of 10 customers i've had are people from away who have moved here. I don't know how the locals can sense i'm not a Mainer but i guess they can!
All good advice - I've made most of my acquaintances and a few friends here by pursuing the things that interest me and then striking up conversations. Belonging to one or more groups is always helpful (a fraternal organization, a hobby group, etc).
Jellybean50, I think I know of your shop and have been meaning to visit it! I will make a better effort to do so
Because some will drive up the prices of housing - like what happened to the "sky is falling" crowd from the west coast - who descended on WY, ID & MT like hungry wolves $800k to $1Mn homes don't help the locals that much, when they bring in their own contractors and don't hire locals. All it does is raise their taxes and punish them - when they were there first. So, I've never been in favour of moving to another state and buying. Renting sure. But if there's nothing to rent - why bother.
I don't know about all of that. I am from California. I came to Maine, bought land at $350 an acre, and I built a house.
As for hiring contractors, I hired an electrician to install a pole, meter, and mains breaker. I hired a well driller. I hired a septic design engineer. I hired a site work contractor to build a driveway and pour a foundation.
In 18 years those are the only contractors I have needed.
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