Why are people here so rude to newcomers? (insurance, live in) - Fort Lauderdale area - Florida (FL) -Broward County - City-Data Forum

ImovedtoYOURFlorida · 07-23-2013, 02:36 PM

I'm an attractive, responsible, well-spoken professional who's lived in several different cities in the US. I've always had a lot of friends... until moving here 2 years ago for my husband's job.

What do you have to do to meet people? Why are people so defensive and childish about newcomers? I have had people start to be nice to me, only to turn on the attitude when they realize I'm a newcomer.

Examples of my experiences thus far in trying to meet people:

- I introduced myself at a networking event to someone who was pointed out as my husband's coworker. While I felt I was perfectly unremarkable, she mentioned to my husband that she didn't appreciate my doing so, and apparently seemed bothered I'd attended the event at all.

- I am taking evening classes for my masters. In a small class of 12, I posted a message on the discussion board of "does anyone want to meet up for a pizza party to celebrate the end of the semester?" No response, and I later heard people were offended that I'd done that.

- I invited a coworker of 1.5 years, whom I thought was a friend, to a BBQ at my home. She no longer speaks to me.

- I was turned down as a new patient at a dental practice, because I was new in town.

I don't get it. I feel like I'm in some weird twilight zone. Is there some regional thing I'm missing, where this stuff is horribly offensive and rude? Help. I just want some friends.

jenny jen · 07-23-2013, 06:33 PM

sorry that has happened to you...What part of fla do u live ?

Arushan · 07-23-2013, 06:45 PM

This stuff applies to much of the US in general these days. Not unique to FL.

ImovedtoYOURFlorida · 07-23-2013, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arushan

This stuff applies to much of the US in general these days. Not unique to FL.

Not in my experience. I've moved all over the country and have never had a problem making friends till now. For me, when cops and medical professionals outright state they don't want to help me because I'm new...

That's not normal.

I'm in Broward.

Swimmom32 · 07-23-2013, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

Not in my experience. I've moved all over the country and have never had a problem making friends till now. For me, when cops and medical professionals outright state they don't want to help me because I'm new...

That's not normal.

I'm in Broward.

Having lived in 6 different states and all different cities, I can tell you its everywhere...People just don't want to be bothered anymore and once they have their friends they arent looking for anymore...We have encountered that after we left NY and NJ although its no better there...its just not South Florida, my friends and we have this conversation pretty often because we see it and hear it...

jhlcomp · 07-23-2013, 08:05 PM

They are not rude to newcomers - they are rude to everyone. Want to know a secret? If you smile, say hello and ask "how are you?" - tada!!! The attitude changes or at least it does for me.

Swimmom32 · 07-23-2013, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

They are not rude to newcomers - they are rude to everyone. Want to know a secret? If you smile, say hello and ask "how are you?" - tada!!! The attitude changes or at least it does for me.

Your right

I made some very good friends in Florida not alot but a few we still keep in touch, but honestly the Rudeness is everywhere so I don't let it bother me...

Honeycrisp · 07-23-2013, 08:15 PM

It wasnt my experience, I've found my neighbors and even ppl in the stores very friendly and outgoing, like anywhere else, ppl can be cliquish esp. at first but I wouldnt take it personally. I find it hard to believe a dentist wouldnt take you for the simple reason you're new unless your ins. is different than what they accept (which does happen), as for classmates and co-workers that were mentioned, that's their loss, I would try not to let it bother me. I have a friend who moved from the NE to the SE and she's in a small town and said ppl were reserved at first etc but once they got to know each other, they became really good friends and in fact get together often (we met some of them), there was just some initial wariness for whatever reason but it didnt last long

ruski · 07-23-2013, 11:49 PM

Never encountered anything like this

ImovedtoYOURFlorida · 07-24-2013, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jhlcomp

They are not rude to newcomers - they are rude to everyone. Want to know a secret? If you smile, say hello and ask "how are you?" - tada!!! The attitude changes or at least it does for me.

Good for you that that works.

that unfortunately, is what got my husbands coworker upset with me.

About the dentist, they took my insurance. I broke a tooth the day before we left, made an appointment to come in a week later. Secretary called me next day while we were in transit to ask if I wanted to come in early for a cancellation. I said no thanks, we were driving out stuff to FL and I couldn't.
Her (stiffly). "Oh. So you're MOVING here. You don't really live here then. We only take patients who LIVE in Florida". (Click).

Two weeks after I moved in, I was the victim of a crime. Called the cops, one came. Instead of taking a statement or seeing if I was ok, her first line of questions had to do with why had I moved to FL. A relative of mine had to put her back on track. Ultimately, when she saw my out of state license, she refused to take my statement, took one instead from my relative in the "Imoved told me XYZ happened" context. She was later disciplined by her dept.

But no. Reservedness I understand. Outright, childish hostility, the "how dare you speak to me" attitude, I do not. And as I've said, I've moved every couple years all my life, and have never seen this.