Why are people here so rude to newcomers? (Miami, Orlando: house, job transfer)

[michael near Athens]

You seem to be meeting some very strange people. Get involved with some volunteer work, must be some nice people helping others. If you want to see some strange behavior move to rural Georgia with an Italian last name, they are still flying the confederate flag. I don't think they realize they lost.

[WrongStreet]

What you're saying sounds pretty extreme, I moved down here several years ago from up north and found people to be a little more eccentric, kind of rude, and generally aloof. But as I got to know people I made some pretty long lasting friendships, just as I would have anywhere else, it's all about meeting the right people. I'm sure once you and your husband get settled you will start interacting with more "normal" people.

[JacobMAX]

There's people like that in this neck of the woods, but there are good nice folks too (especially the older people)...

Reasons probably are - like most major cities; mostly stress, relatively high cost of living (and the avg. income in SoFL is somewhat low - so the combination), traffic...a few people hate the temperatures and humidity...

[BAJAN246]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

I'm an attractive, responsible, well-spoken professional who's lived in several different cities in the US. I've always had a lot of friends... until moving here 2 years ago for my husband's job.

What do you have to do to meet people? Why are people so defensive and childish about newcomers? I have had people start to be nice to me, only to turn on the attitude when they realize I'm a newcomer.

Examples of my experiences thus far in trying to meet people:

- I introduced myself at a networking event to someone who was pointed out as my husband's coworker. While I felt I was perfectly unremarkable, she mentioned to my husband that she didn't appreciate my doing so, and apparently seemed bothered I'd attended the event at all.

- I am taking evening classes for my masters. In a small class of 12, I posted a message on the discussion board of "does anyone want to meet up for a pizza party to celebrate the end of the semester?" No response, and I later heard people were offended that I'd done that.

- I invited a coworker of 1.5 years, whom I thought was a friend, to a BBQ at my home. She no longer speaks to me.

- I was turned down as a new patient at a dental practice, because I was new in town.

I don't get it. I feel like I'm in some weird twilight zone. Is there some regional thing I'm missing, where this stuff is horribly offensive and rude? Help. I just want some friends.

May be Its You and not the people you come Into Contact With!

[convextech]

This sounds extreme to me also. Two years seems like a long time to try to break into a crowd and everyone is still rude.

I don't understand what is wrong with inviting someone to your home for a BBQ.

The networking thing, was that specifically for your husband's company? That one I can sort of understand, I wouldn't expect spouses to go to those either. But still, to be rude about it? That's just dumb.

What about your husband? Is he having these same issues?

[elle414]

I am new to FL too, and I hear you. My advice- if people reject your invitation/ attention/ hand, they are not worth your attention. They are not right people for you. Right ones are just around the corner!

[sheree202]

We're preparing to relocate to the area because of a job transfer. I've noticed rude comments on these message boards about "more Northerners moving to Florida". It is childish. People relocate all over the country. It's quite funny that certain Florida natives are bothered that people would like to move to their area. I agree with others that you'll meet great friends with time. Best of luck!

[LIFL]

They so far have been fine to me.

[Nolefan34]

Originally Posted by sheree202

We're preparing to relocate to the area because of a job transfer. I've noticed rude comments on these message boards about "more Northerners moving to Florida". It is childish. People relocate all over the country. It's quite funny that certain Florida natives are bothered that people would like to move to their area. I agree with others that you'll meet great friends with time. Best of luck!

There are very few "natives" left here in South FL. Most of them moved away years ago to Central FL, North Carolina, and Tennessee. South FL today is predominantly Northeastern transplants and Hispanics who moved up from Miami over the years.

The funny part to me is that these cities with predominantly Southerners like Jacksonville, Tampa, and Orlando are just as crime ridden and have worse economies than South FL. Yet they talk like its a Northern problem that FL is becoming such a dump.

South FL is a difficult place to meet people because most people have a defense barrier up when someone says hello to them in public. There is a general attitude here that if someone talks to you in public it means they want something from you. Either they want money or they want to sell you something. Women tend to have heightened barriers when approached by men because there are a lot of scumbags around here. Lots of guys who treat women like dog crap and make rude comments in public. So for a normal guy, its very difficult to meet women. The other side of the equation is that there is a whole segment of women who only are looking for men with money. If the guy cannot shower them with champaign and 100 dollar bills then they want no part.

[Papillons2]

Originally Posted by JacobMAX

There's people like that in this neck of the woods, but there are good nice folks too (especially the older people)...

Reasons probably are - like most major cities; mostly stress, relatively high cost of living (and the avg. income in SoFL is somewhat low - so the combination), traffic...a few people hate the temperatures and humidity...

This is as good an explanation as any.

Squeeze almost 6 million people onto a strip of land that's 75 miles long and 15 miles wide (the Miami-West Palm Beach corridor) and not all of them are going to be friendly, or even civil.

Nice people are out there, and I do believe that if you treat others the way you'd like to be treated, your efforts will be rewarded eventually.