Why are people here so rude to newcomers? (Orlando, University: university, live)

[THX 1138]

Originally Posted by sheree202

We're preparing to relocate to the area because of a job transfer. I've noticed rude comments on these message boards about "more Northerners moving to Florida". It is childish. People relocate all over the country. It's quite funny that certain Florida natives are bothered that people would like to move to their area. I agree with others that you'll meet great friends with time. Best of luck!

Except that the concentration of people from the Northeast (including myself) is quite high here. True Florida natives in South Florida, that is ones that have been here for generations are rare, I met and know a lot of natives that were born here but many of them had parents or grandparents that were from the Northeast. Probably up in the central and northern part of the state you will find natives that had family going back to the 1800's. In essence some of the ones who complain about Northerners have linage from that part of the US within the past 50 or 100 years and have not kept up on their origins.

"In 1900, almost two-thirds of Florida's residents lived in the northern region of the state,
slightly more than one-fourth lived in the central region, and fewer than one in twelve lived in the
two southern regions combined (Table 2). Duval was the largest county, with a population of
39,733. Miami-Dade County (which in 1900 included Broward, Palm Beach, and Martin counties)
had fewer than 5,000 residents."

https://www.google.com/url?q=http://...70K9p2hhvjiTDA

[GypsyLady13]

i am from fort lauderdale and i have to say that floridians in southern florida are not rude people. most of the people are from another state/country anyways so why would they be upset at newcomers.
perhaps the OP should take a good in depth look at herself for she could be the one that this negative attitude is emanating from. and about the dentist, well, i moved up north for college and was denied doctors and dentists since they were not taking any new patients. finally after making like 20 calls, i got a doctor and a dentist.

[JohnMac1981]

I think the thing to keep in mind here is that it clearly has nothing to do with you as a person, and it sounds like most people would be lucky to have you as a neighbor or in their circle. Some people just suck, and I think you should keep your head up and continue being who you are. I garuntee there are some other friendly and friendworthy people hiding amongst those others... Try not to let it bother you..

[Red3311]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

I'm an attractive...

stop right there....this is probably why people are being "mean" to you. You are probably full of yourself not because you are a "newcomer"

[cfbs2691]

Originally Posted by Nolefan34

South FL is a difficult place to meet people because most people have a defense barrier up when someone says hello to them in public. There is a general attitude here that if someone talks to you in public it means they want something from you. Either they want money or they want to sell you something. Women tend to have heightened barriers when approached by men because there are a lot of scumbags around here. So for a normal guy, its very difficult to meet women. The other side of the equation is that there is a whole segment of women who only are looking for men with money. If the guy cannot shower them with champaign and 100 dollar bills then they want no part.

Very well said!

[NowSoFlorida]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

I'm an attractive, responsible, well-spoken professional who's lived in several different cities in the US. I've always had a lot of friends... until moving here 2 years ago for my husband's job.

What do you have to do to meet people? Why are people so defensive and childish about newcomers? I have had people start to be nice to me, only to turn on the attitude when they realize I'm a newcomer.

Examples of my experiences thus far in trying to meet people:

- I introduced myself at a networking event to someone who was pointed out as my husband's coworker. While I felt I was perfectly unremarkable, she mentioned to my husband that she didn't appreciate my doing so, and apparently seemed bothered I'd attended the event at all.

- I am taking evening classes for my masters. In a small class of 12, I posted a message on the discussion board of "does anyone want to meet up for a pizza party to celebrate the end of the semester?" No response, and I later heard people were offended that I'd done that.

- I invited a coworker of 1.5 years, whom I thought was a friend, to a BBQ at my home. She no longer speaks to me.

- I was turned down as a new patient at a dental practice, because I was new in town.

I don't get it. I feel like I'm in some weird twilight zone. Is there some regional thing I'm missing, where this stuff is horribly offensive and rude? Help. I just want some friends.

Your story doesn't make sense.

1. Was this event a place where other spouses were?

2. Doesn't make sense, maybe you imagined that they were offended, or maybe they were offended that you did it so impersonally.

3. What happened at the BBQ, obviously you offended her.

4. A dental practice would not turn anyone away for being new, again it doesn't make sense.

[NowSoFlorida]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

Not in my experience. I've moved all over the country and have never had a problem making friends till now. For me, when cops and medical professionals outright state they don't want to help me because I'm new...

That's not normal.

I'm in Broward.

The vast majority of people were new here at one point, very few people that I met are native Floridians. Most people don't ask or care how long anyone has been here.

Honestly I can't believe that cops and medical professions won't help you because you are a new resident, plus you said you've been here 2 years, that's not so new.

[NowSoFlorida]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

About the dentist, they took my insurance. I broke a tooth the day before we left, made an appointment to come in a week later. Secretary called me next day while we were in transit to ask if I wanted to come in early for a cancellation. I said no thanks, we were driving out stuff to FL and I couldn't.
Her (stiffly). "Oh. So you're MOVING here. You don't really live here then. We only take patients who LIVE in Florida". (Click).

Two weeks after I moved in, I was the victim of a crime. Called the cops, one came. Instead of taking a statement or seeing if I was ok, her first line of questions had to do with why had I moved to FL. A relative of mine had to put her back on track. Ultimately, when she saw my out of state license, she refused to take my statement, took one instead from my relative in the "Imoved told me XYZ happened" context. She was later disciplined by her dept.

But no. Reservedness I understand. Outright, childish hostility, the "how dare you speak to me" attitude, I do not. And as I've said, I've moved every couple years all my life, and have never seen this.

Even your member name sounds hostile. Maybe you don't know how you come off to people.

If a dentist doesn't want to take an appointment for a person who plans on being in that state in the coming week it seems fine to me, maybe they have been burned by people flaking out on them and not showing up. Many things can go wrong with a move that can delay you getting to your appointment.

So if you are asked by a cop why you moved to Florida tell them. They aren't socializing or being nosey, they are told what to say and how to conduct themselves.

I think it's you and your attitude and not the cops. Maybe they are not supposed to accept out of state IDs I don't know. I know if you move you are supposed to change your address in 10 days. (I think that's the timeframe) You could have kept your driver's license and gotten a Florida ID, snowbirds are not required to get a Florida DL so you didn't have to either.

[PanteraBranca]

Originally Posted by ImovedtoYOURFlorida

I'm an attractive, responsible, well-spoken professional who's lived in several different cities in the US. I've always had a lot of friends... until moving here 2 years ago for my husband's job.

What do you have to do to meet people? Why are people so defensive and childish about newcomers? I have had people start to be nice to me, only to turn on the attitude when they realize I'm a newcomer.

Examples of my experiences thus far in trying to meet people:

- I introduced myself at a networking event to someone who was pointed out as my husband's coworker. While I felt I was perfectly unremarkable, she mentioned to my husband that she didn't appreciate my doing so, and apparently seemed bothered I'd attended the event at all.

- I am taking evening classes for my masters. In a small class of 12, I posted a message on the discussion board of "does anyone want to meet up for a pizza party to celebrate the end of the semester?" No response, and I later heard people were offended that I'd done that.

- I invited a coworker of 1.5 years, whom I thought was a friend, to a BBQ at my home. She no longer speaks to me.

- I was turned down as a new patient at a dental practice, because I was new in town.

I don't get it. I feel like I'm in some weird twilight zone. Is there some regional thing I'm missing, where this stuff is horribly offensive and rude? Help. I just want some friends.

Well, I am trying to escape Utah for similar reasons. I think what's happening to you has a lot to do with the people you've interacted with. Above, you mentioned you are attractive and professional. Right there you've got to have a strategy on how to deal with people if they are neither attractive nor professional. My suggestion is to look for friends through sites like meet up dot com and find the ones that have more in common with you, i.e., attractive and professional. We live in a culture in America where many people have serious insecurities and are anti-success and anti-successful people. You may be coming across as "better off" than the folks you've been interacting with. They will shun you. Find people more like yourself and this problem you're facing will go away. Or, if you insist in being friendly to the wrong crowd, you will be a very frustrated newcomer in Florida or wherever insecure people gather. My opinion.

[D_Coleman]

welcome to South Florida. I just got out of the military and it's disgusting to say this is South Florida. Between my PTSD and the locals attitude, someone is going to get hurt very fast. So I just stay in the house and away from these beach bums. I'm looking to move toward Orlando area or out of Florida period. I still have a little time on my hands to see how things turn out here. Quick fact though, nobody that lives in South Florida are ORIGINALLY (born and raised) from here. They're either from another country or another state. They've just lived here for 10-15 years. Don't let them fool you