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I’m a single, straight guy and work in a field in which maintaining ties with others in my industry, and building relationships with customers, is important.
I always thought that I treated men and women exactly the same. Pure business, or so I thought. Yet I’ve had now two situations in which women outside of my company clearly have wanted romance. One was a customer and one was a senior employee at another company.
Do you or should you treat someone of the opposite gender differently in work situations? For example, if you’re a woman, do you meet other women 1-on-1 but refuse to meet men 1-on-1? Do you give business gifts only to people of the same gender as you?
I feel stuck, as I want to be sure to treat everyone equally. But if women get a message that there could be romance, even though I think I’m being professional only, I clearly need to re-think my ways.
I don't "treat" people differently based on their gender, but I sure am much more careful around women to not make ANY jokes about anything that even remotely touches on sexuality or any related topics. Not like I really did that before, but I'm more conscious about it now. You stand to lose in that situation every time.
Working remotely now, I keep things pretty non-personal as much as I can. I'll give out snippets of personal information here and there but don't share much and don't ask much.
I’m a single, straight guy and work in a field in which maintaining ties with others in my industry, and building relationships with customers, is important.
I always thought that I treated men and women exactly the same. Pure business, or so I thought. Yet I’ve had now two situations in which women outside of my company clearly have wanted romance. One was a customer and one was a senior employee at another company.
Do you or should you treat someone of the opposite gender differently in work situations? For example, if you’re a woman, do you meet other women 1-on-1 but refuse to meet men 1-on-1? Do you give business gifts only to people of the same gender as you?
I feel stuck, as I want to be sure to treat everyone equally. But if women get a message that there could be romance, even though I think I’m being professional only, I clearly need to re-think my ways.
Thanks.
"treated"? Do you mean engage with? I'd say that we all engage with different people differently - e.g. executive management vs. your staff, clients vs. internal team members, your family vs. strangers, etc. And of course, men vs. women. This is in regards to properness, politeness, formality, etc.
As for treating them differently? I'm not sure you need to do that. I wouldn't hesitate to meet with a woman 1-on-1 in a business setting. Certainly I'm not going to suggest a romantic restaurant for a business discussion - but I wouldn't do that with a man either....
If you're not sending a message - then none can be received. Albeit that doesn't mean someone can't still be interested. You can just ignore her messages, or if it gets less subtle (e.g. her inviting YOU to a romantic restaurant for a "business discussion") you can address it by suggesting an alternate location.
I think the best rule any person can adopt at work is to never assume anything with a co-worker. Just because a coworker is super friendly or approaches you frequently, does not mean that person is attracted to you and seeks a relationship. The relationships section of this forum is filled with person after person thinking their coworker has the hots for them based on nothing but such speculation.
I think the best rule any person can adopt at work is to never assume anything with a co-worker. Just because a coworker is super friendly or approaches you frequently, does not mean that person is attracted to you and seeks a relationship. The relationships section of this forum is filled with person after person thinking their coworker has the hots for them based on nothing but such speculation.
I am typically the first to point out inequality or inappropriateness in the workplace. That said, I say keep doing what you're doing.
Surely you have had someone hit on you when you were not giving out any "vibes" or signifying romantic interest, right? In the workplace, it can happen, too. Some people will go for it even when you have a bright neon sign saying "NOT INTERESTED" hanging around your neck.
The best thing you can do is continue to treat everyone equally and nurture your professional relationships.
Having a position is like being rich, you really don't know who your real friends are.
Ever see the movie,"Comming to America" ?
A person of position can have no friends except those that do not need him.
Having a position is like being rich, you really don't know who your real friends are.
Ever see the movie,"Comming to America" ?
A person of position can have no friends except those that do not need him.
And that would be very, very, very few friends, sadly.
Last edited by GSPNative; 08-17-2021 at 10:51 AM..
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