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I don't "treat" people differently based on their gender, but I sure am much more careful around women to not make ANY jokes about anything that even remotely touches on sexuality or any related topics.
But being "careful around women" IS treating them differently.
Do you think it's okay to make sexual jokes around men in the workplace? Not all men want to be talked to like that, either; it's unprofessional. They may not say anything because they're worried about being thought prissy or something.
I worked with a gay guy who would tell off color jokes. We asked him to stop, but he kept it up until we asked the supervisor to take care of it. He didn't lose his job or get written up, but he was quite annoyed with us.
I've never felt that I had to be extra careful around any person. Some seem to give this impression that the work force is filled with people who are looking to get easily offended and then get co-workers fired for it. Not from my experience.
I mean, what's so exceptionally hard about acting professional and appropriate for the situation? Requires zero effort. Doesn't matter if the co-worker is incredibly attractive or not. If some people have a hard time with life because they feel they cannot speak freely and explicitly about X-rated topics and the like at work, or they keep getting distracted because they fall in love every time someone says hello to them, then they've got some serious issues to work on.
I've always been an easy going guy and like to make people laugh. And I've been that way my entire work career without saying anything offensive or vulgar to lighten the mood.
"treated"? Do you mean engage with? I'd say that we all engage with different people differently - e.g. executive management vs. your staff, clients vs. internal team members, your family vs. strangers, etc. And of course, men vs. women. This is in regards to properness, politeness, formality, etc.
As for treating them differently? I'm not sure you need to do that. I wouldn't hesitate to meet with a woman 1-on-1 in a business setting. Certainly I'm not going to suggest a romantic restaurant for a business discussion - but I wouldn't do that with a man either....
If you're not sending a message - then none can be received. Albeit that doesn't mean someone can't still be interested. You can just ignore her messages, or if it gets less subtle (e.g. her inviting YOU to a romantic restaurant for a "business discussion") you can address it by suggesting an alternate location.
In this day and age, I wouldn't feel comfortable meeting with a female subordinate as a male manager alone in a room with closed doors without cameras recording the I simply wouldn't do it. It's too high risk.
In this day and age, I wouldn't feel comfortable meeting with a female subordinate as a male manager alone in a room with closed doors without cameras recording the I simply wouldn't do it. It's too high risk.
I support your position to protect your authority or self respect.
Certainly as humans We do show different tactics or manners with our staff. Nope it's not equal. It's within the confines of professional needs.
To the female identified, you created this double edge sword. You want the equality with this little footnote of : hey I can alledged inappropriate antics and have that fellow squirm because YOU have to believe me.
Adults have some translucency to them .
Keep the door open and have a witness to moderate.
Be careful. Unwanted advances has been known to be an issue.
Today? Nope for on the job dating.
Depending on your company it's fine as long as you're not in the same management chain of command - and of course you're not otherwise harrassing them with unwanted advances. But if you want to make a bigger issue out of it, fine.
You can't control how another person chooses to view you. Good luck as a Salesman during the #MeThree era.
If you are single and in a liberal city it might be worth faking as non-heteronormative identity (such as a sapiosexual) to avoid false accusations. I'm being very serious here.
In this day and age, I wouldn't feel comfortable meeting with a female subordinate as a male manager alone in a room with closed doors without cameras recording the I simply wouldn't do it. It's too high risk.
1000%
At minimum 2 Women should be in the room but never 1:1.
I've never felt that I had to be extra careful around any person. Some seem to give this impression that the work force is filled with people who are looking to get easily offended and then get co-workers fired for it. Not from my experience.
I mean, what's so exceptionally hard about acting professional and appropriate for the situation? Requires zero effort. Doesn't matter if the co-worker is incredibly attractive or not. If some people have a hard time with life because they feel they cannot speak freely and explicitly about X-rated topics and the like at work, or they keep getting distracted because they fall in love every time someone says hello to them, then they've got some serious issues to work on.
I've always been an easy going guy and like to make people laugh. And I've been that way my entire work career without saying anything offensive or vulgar to lighten the mood.
People often live in different dimensions on this forum honestly. I have personally witnessed several power plays and complex situations where Women have definitely made calculated moves to take down managers. However it's not just Women specifically.
Corporate America is a mess and in NYC in particular it's join a battalion, be a legal shark or option 3 get steamrolled over. It depends on your industry, your identity politics and your job role/rank. Verticals like Fashion for example are probably impossible as a heterosexual man, even in an analytical role these days.
OP you must be one hot item for women to come on to you like that. I don't recall you mentioning this problem in your other alias's.
I work in an uneventful place I guess and obviously am an un noticed/unhot item since I have not had these problems. I will also attest to possibly being a boring/undramatic person. I just show up and do my work without thinking how I come across, who I am in a meeting with or what's going on or who's who. The majority of my co workers and work hangouts are male. I have been training/running partners with a few at the gym (I am female) over the years working where I do.
I do understand and agree with people's comments about the need to act and appear professional at work and avoiding "situations".
As for me, I am blissfully ignorant where I work and just go about my day.
But being "careful around women" IS treating them differently.
Do you think it's okay to make sexual jokes around men in the workplace? Not all men want to be talked to like that, either; it's unprofessional. They may not say anything because they're worried about being thought prissy or something.
I worked with a gay guy who would tell off color jokes. We asked him to stop, but he kept it up until we asked the supervisor to take care of it. He didn't lose his job or get written up, but he was quite annoyed with us.
I don't make sexual jokes with anyone but my close friends, so no. What I'm saying is, I'm THINKING about being overly cautious when women are on a call vs. all men. I don't think that means I'm treating them differently.
For example, in my particular company it's common to throw around a calculated F-bomb on a call with men. "Oh this bleeping customer, he's a real pain in my arse." However, I would never put an F-bomb out there with a woman. In fact, during a video call interview when I was applying for the job, two different men cursed on our call and didn't seem to even notice they did it. I realize that's not sexual in nature per se, but like I said, better safe than sorry.
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